Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

[2015mom]

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

[SequinsOnEverything]

I wonder what happens if, for example, my friend has a baby and I go to see the baby and take a gift and say "Awh he's lovely" but don't actually say the C word. Is that taken as a slight?

Obviously that would be terrribly offensive and your friend would never want to see you again!

[FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite]

my friend has a baby and I go to see the baby and take a gift and say

Uhm.... Does social etiquette require this in the UK?

Up to now I've always given gift for the baptism (or similar events...)

I wonder if I've offended some people? Shoot!è :(

[problembottom]

YABU for trying to get your MIL involved in this when she hasn't done anything. PILs tend to want to keep the peace and while you're perfectly entitled to think your SIL is rude it's childish to try and make your MIL agree.

[ShiroiKoibito]

you dont like her, you probably dont hide it - why should she make an effort with you?

[usernumbernine]

Or what if I don't take my kids with me? I mean, they're adults/big teenagers and have their own lives but they need to go with me to say the C word, right? hahaha

[IDontLoveGlitterGlitterLovesMe]

Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

hahaha

hahaha. You are such a fantastic hahaha mother by refusing to take your son to your inlaws hahaha.

hahaha hahaha

[usernumbernine]

And what if I don't take the dog, and the cat, and the goldfish? and none of them say the C word obviously. Lol. Will my friend be terribly offended?

Zut alors.

Or will my friend think what the fuck is she doing trailing all these randoms here to see a perfectly normal but not that exciting baby when my house could do with a clean I need to wash my hair and I'd rather sleep? hahaa

[hippyhippyshake]

If Dh's sister came round to fawn over you but you hadn't heard from her husband, would you be slating him because you didn't get a separate text? Same thing.
Poor mil. Hopefully her SON will take HIS baby to see her and leave you at home. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say it's just your hormones and you will get back to normal shortly.

[Lucy7400]

You can make a big deal out of this, punish your MIL unnecessarily, create loads of tension and make yourself look like immature. Or you could go round with the baby, your head held high and avoid the drama. Your choice.

[Whileweareonthesubject]

Are you related to Alan Partridge ? Ha ha?

[pictish]

Grow up.

[ShatnersWig]

While He was "Aha" rather than "haha" Although the OP has provided as entertaining a thread as Steve Coogan's creation

[ThreeFish]

Wow. Your husbands brother is the one related.
You are being really harsh.

[WorraLiberty]

Hopefully her SON will take HIS baby to see her and leave you at home.

That's what I was thinking.

It sounds like the best solution all round.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I suspect that she is keeping her distance from you.

You don't like her and I think that she knows it. So why would she bother.

[Whileweareonthesubject]

Shatner's - so it was! Oh well. I just kept hearing his voice in my head when I was reading all the 'ha ha s' the op put into her posts. Never mind.

[RedDogsBeg]

Are these the responses you were hoping for OP? hahaha lol

[SandyDenny]

I assume from the fact that you've posted about this that it is taking up some headspace for you but I'm struggling to see why you would care. Congrats are nice but other people's world's don't revolve around your baby. It's all a bit Eastenders for me, get over yourself and enjoy your new baby, congratulations

[bingbongnoise]

Why don't you contact HER OP?

Why?

[MrsDustyBusty]

Well you've certainly put your mother in law in a difficult position, lolololollo.

And she said the right thing too, sad face lol.

[Libitina]

OP YABVU.

As PP have said, I hope your DH takes his baby to see his family.

[Fishface199]

This scenario really reminds me of an Indian drama serial I watched on Zee TV.

A daughter in law used the child to get at a mother in law because she felt the sister in law had insulted her by not getting the child a good enough gift for their birthday!

You don't want to become a drama serial?

[floraeasy]

It certainly would have been nice to get at least a text from your SIL. It's the kind of thing I'd certainly do at the absolute least.

For whatever reason though, you didn't get the reaction you wanted. There really isn't anything you can do about that, I'm afraid.

What I definitely wouldn't do is make this more of a drama than it needs to be. Certainly don't put your poor MIL in the middle of it all. If you want your child to have good relationships with his in-laws, you must help to facilitate that.

You cannot make someone behave the way you'd like, OP. It's pointless to even try. All you can do is control your own reaction. Imagine if you could force an acknowledgement out of her (via MIL, say) - what would be the point really? Like a fake apology, a fake congratulation would also be meaningless.

Just forget it and carry on as if you had heard from your SIL. No need to go out of your way to help her in future as you say you have done in the past. Just keep up a friendly but indifferent facade for the sake of family harmony.

By the way, congratulations on the birth of your son.

[elisa2502]

Is she childless? It may be because she is infertile.
My siblings all have children but it is the only way i can cope by not seeing/cooing over them as babies.
We all cope as best we can given the nature of infertility