My fucking, fucking husband

[CheesyChristie]

He's been a monumental shit to me since ds2 was born (18 months ago). It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving if he didn't change. We had a really good talk, I explained everything I was unhappy about - having fallen into being a sahm so he can focus on his career

• moving to other side of country, again so he can focus on job
• him leaving me in the house from 6am to 9/10pm due to combination of staying at work and running/ cycling to station rather than driving even when I had gastritis and was crying asking him to come home and help me
• refusing to believe ds1 has autism despite diagnosis, thinks I am just overreacting to his behaviour as I can't cope with him
• offering no support when I was diagnosed with pnd, not once in the last year asking how I feel about it, anything.
• refusing to acknowledge ds1 needs any additional support

-doing nothing with the kids, ever Loads of other stuff I can't even think of now, but generally just treating me as a skivvy and not his wife.

Anyway after a long talk he promised to change. Look into doing one day a week from home. Only run to station once a week. Plan activities for weekend once a month.

I've just looked at my phone and I've had a missed call from his office at 3.30. He does this when he goes out with workmates - rings once when he's leaving so I can't get arsey because he didn't tell me he was going out. This means he'll be getting a taxi back from the station which costs about £35. Ds1 has an important grading tomorrow at 8.30am. It's the one thing he enjoys and is really good at. He is excited about it and I've never seen him excited before. I cannot attend if ds2 is there - ds1 needs me in the room and ds2 screams because he can't run around. Dh will not be able to look after ds2, he'll spend the morning still drunk, puking and shitting. I'm sat here sobbing.

The absolute fucking, bellend, arsecock. I want to go home. I just want my mum. I just can't do all this on my own.

Sorry, just wanted a rant really. I live in the arse end of nowhere, lived here for two years and still don't have any friends here.

Well done op youre amazing!! You and your boys can have such a wonderful life without your stupid husband.

Just read your update. Well done for being brave and just doing what's best for you and DC right now.

Well done to your son for his new belt and well done to you too. Tell your mum everything so when you start to wonder if you have done the right thing you have someone there to remind you just how unreasonably your husband has behaved x

Well done cheesy and for little cheesey.

Brilliant, well done

So pleased you're with your mum and so pleased you feel happy

Go and consult a solicitor before making your next move.

Enjoy the peace op and your wine, your mum sounds lovely.

Well done x

You're living like a single parent now, doing everything, but with the resentment of having DH who does nothing. If he can spend 35 on a taxi at the drop of a hat, and the expense of a night out with his mates, you can spend 35 on a babysitter, so, you'll need a bit of time to plan your departure properly (find somewhere near your mum/family, near a good school, with a place for DS1, and support for DS1), so find a babysitter so you have some time to think and plan properly.

I'm glad you went, and I really really hope you stay away.

We'll he text at 6 ish asking when we'd be home and if I wanted him to get us a takeaway. I text back saying me and boys are at dm's, with a pic of ds1 wearing his new belt. Said I didn't want to talk right now but I'll speak in a few days. He's been phoning me non-stop since then. I don't want to talk to him. I don't feel up to it. I asked dm to answer the phone and she just told him I hadn't told her why I was down there, that we were all fine and that I'd call him soon but was turning phone off for the night now.

I know I'm being a wimp but I just cannot face talking to him. Right off to put boys to bed. I'll update later if dh turns up/ I get drunk and start crying etc.

Good for you, he's the one being a dick !

You don't have to if you don't feel up to it. I'd send one text, 'I've left you. Our marriage is OVER.' After I saw a solicitor.

You're not being a wimp at all. Do what you need to do for a change.

He damn well knows what he's doing! Didn't even bother texting till 6? Knew about the grading. Binge drinking was more important. What a fucking loser.

Well done, you!! You've done exactly the right thing for you and your DCs.

You're being it being a wimp. You sound strong. Your mum is ace. Well done.

Wtf? My phone likes making me look stupid. That should say you're NOT being a wimp

Good thing I read all the way through before posting my original reply

Well done . I hope you are thoroughly enjoying the thought of him thinking you're being extra considerate by taking the boys out for the day, (bless your heart).

Now please be ready for an all-out effort to snare you again when he realises he has egg all over his face.

You are about as far from being a wimp as is possible. You're being bloody amazing.

Let your mum look after you xx

You're not a wimp. You're so strong for taking action and not just putting up with him treating you like shit. Hes panicking now because he never believed you'd stand up for yourself. You don't have to talk to him until youre ready. Its taken him til half bloody 6 to try and find out where his family is. That's how much he cares. He didn't even text you to find out how his sons grading went this morning!!

You don't owe him a conversation just because he wants one, do it on your own terms when you are ready and feel strong enough OP.

I like expat's text.

Make an urgent appointment with a solicitor please, find out where you stand legally as this will help your confidence when talking to your dh.

Wimp? Not the word I'd use for a woman who's done what you've just done, in those circumstances...