My fucking, fucking husband

[CheesyChristie]

He's been a monumental shit to me since ds2 was born (18 months ago). It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving if he didn't change. We had a really good talk, I explained everything I was unhappy about - having fallen into being a sahm so he can focus on his career

• moving to other side of country, again so he can focus on job
• him leaving me in the house from 6am to 9/10pm due to combination of staying at work and running/ cycling to station rather than driving even when I had gastritis and was crying asking him to come home and help me
• refusing to believe ds1 has autism despite diagnosis, thinks I am just overreacting to his behaviour as I can't cope with him
• offering no support when I was diagnosed with pnd, not once in the last year asking how I feel about it, anything.
• refusing to acknowledge ds1 needs any additional support

-doing nothing with the kids, ever Loads of other stuff I can't even think of now, but generally just treating me as a skivvy and not his wife.

Anyway after a long talk he promised to change. Look into doing one day a week from home. Only run to station once a week. Plan activities for weekend once a month.

I've just looked at my phone and I've had a missed call from his office at 3.30. He does this when he goes out with workmates - rings once when he's leaving so I can't get arsey because he didn't tell me he was going out. This means he'll be getting a taxi back from the station which costs about £35. Ds1 has an important grading tomorrow at 8.30am. It's the one thing he enjoys and is really good at. He is excited about it and I've never seen him excited before. I cannot attend if ds2 is there - ds1 needs me in the room and ds2 screams because he can't run around. Dh will not be able to look after ds2, he'll spend the morning still drunk, puking and shitting. I'm sat here sobbing.

The absolute fucking, bellend, arsecock. I want to go home. I just want my mum. I just can't do all this on my own.

Sorry, just wanted a rant really. I live in the arse end of nowhere, lived here for two years and still don't have any friends here.

I wish I had half of your strength. You're so brave, well done.

Well done CheesyChristie, here's to a fresh start

Well done and congrats to your DS for his new belt

Well done OP, I really admire your courage. Stay strong!

Just caught up with the thread Cheesy !
Congrats to your amazing little boy.
You are a credit to your Sons, you truly are,
I filled up, reading your posts, well done, and a shout out, to wonderful Mum's everywhere.

Well done to your little boy and we'll done to you.
Wishing you every future happiness.

Well done DS1 and well done you.

Well done Op. you, your mum, your boys (and even the receptionist) sound amazing.

Well done, Cheesy! Your mum sounds brilliant.

Congrats to your son on his grading.

Hang tough. He's not worth it. He's making the three of you miserable with his selfishness.

Well done you. You have kept your dignity and your H has just lost his family what a prick.

Can't believe he handnt noticed you were gone for so long!!

Please ignore him for a while - his actions will speak a 1000 words

LTB. You will find life so much easier not having to deal with so much crap.

Well done!
He is going to be the one who loses out in the end.
Try to stay strong during his attempts to get you back.

Well done - that took great strength. Stay strong and don't let him try to railroad you into going back :)

Thinking of you OP. Well done for bring brave.

The saddest thing is that he didn't ask how his son's grading went :(

I'm sure your MH issues are down to living with a selfish entitled arsehole.

Well done! What you have done today took guts. You are one brave Mummy! I really admire you. Your little boys are so very lucky to have you. Please don't let your H worm his way back in. Stay strong! You are stronger without H. Let this day be the start of a new you. Your DS1 has had a fab day, so have you & DS2. Let your Mum look after you all. Build your strength. Do not ever look back. Here's to your future, here's to the rest of you & your family's life. You can do this. You owe it to your kids but most of all, you bloody well deserve some happiness. Go for it!

Just read the thread - you've made brilliant decisions, OP. .

I think he probably knew he was in trouble which is why he didn't get in touch 'til later - probably assumed you'd just taken them out for the day.

What you've done is perfect. Leave him to (hopefully) stew and reflect on how much of a shit he is. You never know, it could work. If you loved him enough to marry him there might be a way back if he can see the error of his dickish ways.

I hate how these shit husbands are so dismissive of your upset, ignoring your texts etc when you're asking them where they are or when they'll be home because they are meant to be doing family stuff.

But then, as soon as you're not there at their beck and call, when they think that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance you've got royally fed up with being treated like shit, they bombard you with calls and texts.

Bastard.

Your mum is a star and you obviously take after her! Well done!

Is he going to turn up tomorrow?

Well done! Great update! Stay strong.
Where abouts in Kent? I am also arse end of Kent! (Romney Marsh) if/ when you go back if you need some support/ wine/ cake being brought round in your girl!