He is said its a minor thing, I went ballistic. How would you feel?

[SorryForCallingYourMumACunt]

My husband and I have what I consider a very happy healthy relationship, it is however very long term and has its moments. Recently its been great.

Tonight was a huge argument out the blue. Which was very much from my angry perspective.

We have two boys (nearly) 6 and 10, we own two Scalextric's. Owned them for a few years, a second one DH bought home in November 2016. Our children always have massive arguments over these, and I stopped the first game for sometime before the next one was introduced. That was no better despite loads of chances, plenty of games etc.
It ends in rows every. Single. Time.

If DH hadn't provided them, id have chucked them. Instead I resort to hiding them under the beds at the very back.

Last night, DC2 asked to get the Scalextric out 2 mins before bed. I said no way! I then took it out the room and said to DH "No way are they having this, I've never once known them to play it happy together! Its leaving this house, I absolutely hate it."

I put it outside the front door, 10 mins later changed my mind as it was something Dh provided and hid it in the cupboard by the front door, they would never look there.

We all go to bed.
It pays to mention here that I'm the one that's off with the children all school holidays. Not him.

He gets up and goes to work. I wake up at 7am to two screaming arguing children.
They are screeching and fighting over the fucking Scalextric!

I figure they found the second shitty old one at the back of the bed gathering dust. I tell them its gone tonight and never again.

Tonight, DH home, I gather the second set up and go to put it in there cupboard with the other but its empty.

It WASNT the second set. DH undermined me in the morning, took the Scalextric out the cupboard before the kids were awake and put it back in their room.

he game some bullshit excuse that his tools didn't fit, but the tools weren't even bastard in there.

I went absolutely apeshit. Its ME that had to referee these kids, ME that explained how hellish it was when the toy was around yet HE decided to fuck me over anyway?!I

I'm still SO angry.

It's not OK to undermine a parent.

And that is precisely what happens if one parent makes decisions without buy-in from the other.

You're both guilty of doing this to each other. I think you both need to take a lesson from this.

What was the point of this thread OP? Yes you're H has been a twat but your refusal to accept that the poor communication within your relationship has played a massive part in this current situation, says a lot. Do you want to be right or do you want to move forward?

Enjoy your time with your kids but if you want to move forward, both of you need to accept that both of you are part of the problem.

You're a charmer and no mistake op

Am I the only one on here tempted to get the scalextrix out now ?

I am also a bit confused...honestly not being goady at all here. Didn't the DH say that he got them and put them away because he wanted to move tools ? Is this really the power play and undermining situation that it's been worked up to be.
Or was it just a bit of a misunderstanding/ mistake ?
I am only saying this because years of being really pissed of with my dp have been wasted because we misunderstood the situation, weren't listening properly and both worked things up to be way more than they really are.

There is nearly always one car perceived as 'fastest' or 'lucky'

yes I know because we have it in our house. But I couldn't work out if that was the issue from the OP. If it was then make them take turns.

I'm not sure that his actions were particularly undermining tbh, only in that the dc witnessed op's rather extreme reaction.

The kids wanted to play just before bedtime and op told them they couldn't, and put the Scalextric away.

The next morning, possibly using a fib about making room for tools, her DH gives the toy to the kids.

It's not like he gave the toy to them five minutes after it'd been confiscated, it was the next morning.

And yes probably thinking op was overreacting, and with a warning to play nicely.

Huge overreaction imo.

10 mins later changed my mind as it was something Dh provided and hid it in the cupboard by the front door

I get your point that you don't want continuous rowing to sort out whilst your DH is out at work, so you try to remove the cause. BUT as you made this point above, did you calm down and let your DH know you had done this? Otherwise he probably felt really pissed off that you were chucking it out.

As for your DC's (I've been there with siblings and got the tee shirt) I'd just tell them calmly, you either play NICELY or it goes back in the cupboard and I would n't even given them a second chance if they started once. As above poster said there seems communication issues here, we all lose our temper and it's not a way to communicate, you both need to try and sort it out when calm though.

Christ's sake. So easily solved by getting rid of the things.

Stoic - I think getting rid of something your children love playing with, because you don't like it, is precisely the kind of self-centred parenting that children remember as adults.

To be honest I'm taking on a job which means he will start doing weekends with the kids
Great...and just before you leave for work get the game out and leave him to deal with the carnage

Im genuinely chuckling to myself at the goady responses on here, you're intent on ripping me to shreds even picking out the treeniest tiniest of details
Yup, MN at its "finest"

Stoic - I think getting rid of something your children love playing with

Your definition of 'love' is vastly different to mine, then. To me, love doesn't include upset, fights, tantrums and drama.

Sometimes adults have to be adults and make a decision that their kids won't like. It's called parenting.

We shall have to agree to disagree on that Stoic - children being helped to share and play nicely is nurturing- especially when there is a challenging scenario. Avoiding it for the benefit of the parent is not nurturing. That's not the same as being able to say no, or taking decisions in their interest. Quite the opposite!