He is said its a minor thing, I went ballistic. How would you feel?

[SorryForCallingYourMumACunt]

My husband and I have what I consider a very happy healthy relationship, it is however very long term and has its moments. Recently its been great.

Tonight was a huge argument out the blue. Which was very much from my angry perspective.

We have two boys (nearly) 6 and 10, we own two Scalextric's. Owned them for a few years, a second one DH bought home in November 2016. Our children always have massive arguments over these, and I stopped the first game for sometime before the next one was introduced. That was no better despite loads of chances, plenty of games etc.
It ends in rows every. Single. Time.

If DH hadn't provided them, id have chucked them. Instead I resort to hiding them under the beds at the very back.

Last night, DC2 asked to get the Scalextric out 2 mins before bed. I said no way! I then took it out the room and said to DH "No way are they having this, I've never once known them to play it happy together! Its leaving this house, I absolutely hate it."

I put it outside the front door, 10 mins later changed my mind as it was something Dh provided and hid it in the cupboard by the front door, they would never look there.

We all go to bed.
It pays to mention here that I'm the one that's off with the children all school holidays. Not him.

He gets up and goes to work. I wake up at 7am to two screaming arguing children.
They are screeching and fighting over the fucking Scalextric!

I figure they found the second shitty old one at the back of the bed gathering dust. I tell them its gone tonight and never again.

Tonight, DH home, I gather the second set up and go to put it in there cupboard with the other but its empty.

It WASNT the second set. DH undermined me in the morning, took the Scalextric out the cupboard before the kids were awake and put it back in their room.

he game some bullshit excuse that his tools didn't fit, but the tools weren't even bastard in there.

I went absolutely apeshit. Its ME that had to referee these kids, ME that explained how hellish it was when the toy was around yet HE decided to fuck me over anyway?!I

I'm still SO angry.

Also I should probably have added, when I walked to the cupboard with the scalextric I noticed it emptied, looked in it for a second whilst the penny dropped. When I turned around, DH was stood there with a really guilty silly smile on his face. It was that look that cemented what he had done.

it was a deliberate action.

ooooooh no I made it VERY clear last night that I didn't want the kids to have the game issadora. He KNEW

I'd be fucking furious too OP - it's the sort of thing my DH would do. Thankfully it has reduced in frequency now as I adopted the strategy of leaving him to cope with the mess his actions created (sadly not possible in your case though).

I'm with you - I'd have been livid too. It's not just that he made your life that much harder unnecessarily, it's that he undermined you. Your opinion on what works in terms of the boys playing without a scrap was just dismissed. His opinion was all that mattered. I quite see why you're cross.

Kids fight over toys. If its not the scalextric it will be the football or the lorry or the fire engine or the packet of sweets or the seat in the car. Its called sibling rivalry.

I'd be fuming. Especially if you're left to deal with it. It's like our iPad. They fight over the one we have but dh can't understand why we need another. I think unless they've done all the grunt work with kids constantly it's just a small thing to them.

So he stitched you up then? In that case ballistic is an under reaction. He didn't just undermine you he deliberately set out to cause trouble.

You sound like you may have an anger management problem that you need to work on.

It's a game. They are children. It's mean to be competitive and their will be arguments. It's part of learning how to handle emotions properly.

You also are coming across as quite controlling.

I think the bonkers thing is that you continue to have something in the house that you won't throw out but that the kids aren't allowed to play with. It's a toy. If they can't behave punish them appropriately. If it continues, get rid of it. Having two of the things at home and going ballistic with your husband for not complying with your desire to hide them is a bit batshit

Eh? If you say something, stick to it. You should have just binned it. If you said you were binning it and put it outside and then OH saw it in the cupboard, would he not have assumed you'd change your mind and left if out for them to play with in the morning, since you said no to bedtime playing?

Bullshit Cosmo. This game causes loads of fighting between dc so stress for Op. She can't exactly walk out and leave them to it.

Op. I would put the scalectrix in the garage/loft and it only comes out when daddy will be supervising it and mummy can go out...bet it doesn't come out very often.

She doesn't sound controlling
Yes, children fight or bicker but after warnings it is quite normal to remove whatever it is causing the argument for a period of time
I would not expect the other responsible adult to undermine me if I was the one to remove
It really is that simple

Sorry, just read your update. Just bin it then. Maybe he did it because he was annoyed you were threatening to bin stuff he had bought. Childish but.....

Regardless, your continued anger seems unnecessary

Have you tried just letting them sort it out themselves...not running to the rescue when they shout...are they learning they get your attention by shouting...I never gave bad behaviour attention,it seemed to work for us..at 6 and 10 I'd be letting them get on with it

I get it. It would piss me off too. I don't think yabu, i think this has maybe been the last straw though? A list of things that dh does to undermine you and you specifically told him about you not wanting the kids to have that particular toy, so he gave it to them before work. Why? Why did he do that. I'd be fucking fuming. It's the principal of it.

I agree with leaving dh at home with the kids one day and the toy set up, see how he feels.

But Op hasn't got rid of it because it was a present to dc from their father. However he expects her to deal with the chaos.

I might be wrong but you have a game that they love but you hide it?

She hasn't got rid of it, but has banned them from using it. What's the difference!

So he gave the children a game he knew was going to cause enormous ructions, and then buggered off out to work, leaving you to don the blue UN helmet and run peacekeeping operations when the inevitable fight broke out?

I'd have been pissed off too, @SorryForCallingYourMumACunt!

I think you're both in the wrong. He shouldn't have gone against you, you shouldn't have said you'd throw away a toy he clearly likes the kids having.

I think you just need to have a chat that you don't undermine each other and set some boundaries for the use of the tracks. Maybe a timer if they can't share where each gets 10 mins of something?

I really don't see why it has to be hidden away. Why can't it be "You only play that game with Daddy." And then they play it at weekends - with him. If they ask for it when he's not around, say no. Monopoly works like that in this house . I HATE IT and it always causes crying/ tantrums/ sulks.

Give them one each? Or only get it out when DH can supervise?

My kids argue all the time - it's nice you only need to remove a game and your lot stop!

I still think you came across a touch ott

I'm assuming your dh is home now and you've had it out

I agree with vegansnake and a couple of other PPs.
Let them learn how to behave. Better than being on a screen all the time. Try to learn to ignore a bit more

I get you're angry but have you decided a constructive way forward? Do they never compete over anything else?

I really don't get why the game is pretty much in plain sight/accessible if it's that much of a problem. You're asking a lot of restraint from a 6 year old imo.

I think the new Skalextric rules need to be that it's only ever played with Dad. It's for rainy Sunday afternoons or whatever - but it's strictly Dad's domain.