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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He is said its a minor thing, I went ballistic. How would you feel?

162 replies

SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 12/04/2017 19:31

My husband and I have what I consider a very happy healthy relationship, it is however very long term and has its moments. Recently its been great.

Tonight was a huge argument out the blue. Which was very much from my angry perspective.

We have two boys (nearly) 6 and 10, we own two Scalextric's. Owned them for a few years, a second one DH bought home in November 2016. Our children always have massive arguments over these, and I stopped the first game for sometime before the next one was introduced. That was no better despite loads of chances, plenty of games etc.
It ends in rows every. Single. Time.

If DH hadn't provided them, id have chucked them. Instead I resort to hiding them under the beds at the very back.

Last night, DC2 asked to get the Scalextric out 2 mins before bed. I said no way! I then took it out the room and said to DH "No way are they having this, I've never once known them to play it happy together! Its leaving this house, I absolutely hate it."

I put it outside the front door, 10 mins later changed my mind as it was something Dh provided and hid it in the cupboard by the front door, they would never look there.

We all go to bed.
It pays to mention here that I'm the one that's off with the children all school holidays. Not him.

He gets up and goes to work. I wake up at 7am to two screaming arguing children.
They are screeching and fighting over the fucking Scalextric!

I figure they found the second shitty old one at the back of the bed gathering dust. I tell them its gone tonight and never again.

Tonight, DH home, I gather the second set up and go to put it in there cupboard with the other but its empty.

It WASNT the second set. DH undermined me in the morning, took the Scalextric out the cupboard before the kids were awake and put it back in their room.

he game some bullshit excuse that his tools didn't fit, but the tools weren't even bastard in there.

I went absolutely apeshit. Its ME that had to referee these kids, ME that explained how hellish it was when the toy was around yet HE decided to fuck me over anyway?!I

I'm still SO angry.

OP posts:
Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 10:41

Thank you to those who understand. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. I'm much calmer now.

DanielCraigsUnderpants that's exactly it. Nail on the head.
All those who suggested separate sets at the same time or that my reaction caused their reaction or whatnot, totally and utterly overlooked this key part, I always wonder whether it's deliberate or not on threads like these? (Rhetorical questions, just pondering).
The kids are now playing happily on their scooters, I will never understand why parents would persist with a toy that so badly upsets the equilibrium.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 13/04/2017 10:45

As he has undermined you he sees no probs in them srguing over the scaletrix so presumably he would be happy if you fucked off overnight to a friend's house and left the two scaletrix out and he would smile cheerily as they fight and scrap over them!

BitOutOfPractice · 13/04/2017 10:46

I haven't criticised your parenting at all. I have suggested that you utter blind fury, which was still going strong 15 hours or so after the incident, seemed rather over the top

nachogazpacho · 13/04/2017 10:48

He has a nostalgic view of this game. That is what was driving him... Like it's a right of passage for his dc. For him to get it be would need to sit with them and play it. Then he'd realise it's shit too.

nachogazpacho · 13/04/2017 10:50

I had to hide a lorry from my dc as they'd lose their shit trying to open it and put things in the back, no matter how much I helped, they just did not have the dexterity to do it.

Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 10:59

I described myself this morning as having 'a bee in my bonnet' and you take that for me having 'blind fury'?

OP posts:
Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 11:01

I he does nacho as do I, my brother was never interested in my scalextrix though so I played alone and never endured the battle.

DH has witnessed the arguing. He knows full well how argumentative it makes them. Which makes what he did worse imo.

OP posts:
mummytime · 13/04/2017 11:03

Okay - I know it has been suggested but you do need to leave him in charge (maybe tomorrow while you pop out to buy hot cross buns) with the scaletrix, and hav a leisurely time and see if either they play nicely or he has to deal with WWIII.

Hiding toys is silly, either they can be played with or get rid of them.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 13/04/2017 11:05

I don't understand why you hide the scalextrixs? Bin them if the kids can't cope.

Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 11:06

No way they have both left. Never to return.
I'm never enduring those toys again.

If he sets them up and plays with them, they are still present. Which means sometime in the future a screaming row happens all over again whilst I have the kids. It's gone too far this time and the games have gone.

If this ends in divorce then he can keep them where he lives. 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 11:08

DH wouldn't have wanted that. cauliflower now I'm leaving him no choice.

"It's me or the Scalextric!" Hahaha!!

I didn't actually say that, of course.

OP posts:
Youdontwanttodothat · 13/04/2017 11:11

Mentioned this to my Oh who thinks that Scalectrix of sacred memory is "cool". Also to some adult nephews that I remember played with it (and fought over it) many moons ago.

Universal view in this straw poll is that your dh was a knob to undermine you and bring it out so late.

He loves it. He deals with it.

Chloe84 · 13/04/2017 11:12

Kids following my example, yes I throw tantrums with my Scalextric on a daily basis.

Are you always this obtuse, OP?

All those who suggested separate sets at the same time or that my reaction caused their reaction or whatnot, totally and utterly overlooked this key part, I always wonder whether it's deliberate or not on threads like these? (Rhetorical questions, just pondering).

No, actually, I said that it's not acceptable for your DH to play the good guy all the time and leave you with squabbling kids. But you never did answer why the kids couldn't each play with a set each. I wonder why that is?

RedDogsBeg · 13/04/2017 11:17

I think throwing out the offending toys is exactly the right thing to do OP, your children have been given numerous chances to play with them without arguing, they won't/can't so the toy goes.

It's a good lesson for both your children and dh to learn.

Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 11:18

chloe because I don't want two huge (and they are huge) scalextrics decorating my flat. It ain't happening. Smile

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 13/04/2017 11:21

No. I mean the first incident happened the night before last. The thing that your DH did to annoy you was more than 24 hours ago. It's taken you till this morning to calm down.

That's what I meant.

SapphireStrange · 13/04/2017 11:26

I'd be furious. He undermined you when parents should present a united front.

noego · 13/04/2017 11:28

scalextrics decorating my flat. It ain't happening

Says it all really. So its not "our" flat then?

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 11:33

You sound ridiculous, op, quite frankly.

You won't bin the toys "because DH provided them". But you're happy to tear the head off him if he dares to actually let the kids play with them?
You seem really disturbed confused.

Valentine2 · 13/04/2017 11:34

I can sort of see both sides here. My husband is the kind of person who will go and essentially buy a second toy if the kids are arguing because they have one. And it will never enter his head to find space for it. Currently, four different bikes are roaming our place, including the living room. I am absolutely firm now. No toys till we get rid of some older ones.
So you should have solved this when he brought the second one home after you had hidden the first one away. He was wrong to undermine you like that.
But I also think you should have got rid of them properly. And that he did this last night because you met the second toy enter your home.
In your place, I will keep both of the sets in in clear view of children by outbof their reach and will make it clear that even one argument will mean the toys go out the window. They have to learn to respect each other and their mum's sanity.

Original poster
SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 13/04/2017 11:35

Im genuinely chuckling to myself at the goady responses on here, you're intent on ripping me to shreds even picking out the treeniest tiniest of details.

I'm off to do something with my happy kids. Enjoy picking apart this final post.

😘

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 13/04/2017 11:38

Believeitornot: I'm talking about the children arguing. What exactly is it about that game which causes arguments?

There is nearly always one car perceived as 'fastest' or 'lucky'.
Any track other than a simple oval or 8 shape is trickier, if the track has hairpins/ fast/slow sections it is harder for younger DCs as they don't yet have the fine motor skill or quick reactions for the necessary adjustments.

Sigh : another DH-loved-Scalextric parent.

derxa · 13/04/2017 11:38

Why do you live your life like this? You must be permanently exhausted fighting these silly battles.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 13/04/2017 11:39

(Realises neglected to answer main point of thread) OP your DH definitely messed up.