Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

OutToGetYou they're obviously not guys you would want to date in that case!
Someone kept asking me questions and it felt like a job interview and I think it's off putting to be asked if you rent etc when you haven't had a date yet.

Lovemusic33 I agree with LanaDReye see how a conversation goes first. Some hobbies/interests don't have to be shared and you never know what you might have in common. Last night, I was surprised to find out one of my old favourite bands (that I never saw live) was one he liked and had seen live.

New to this thread so I hope you folks don't mind me popping in!

So, very recently this long-time mate of mine and I have been doing some heavy flirting over text. She's hinting at us going on an actual date which is great and all, but the thing is, it's only been about a month since I got out of a long relationship (said relationship had been going downhill for months in hindsight but I digress). I'm not too sure if it's too soon? All these butterflies however!

I don't think that's too soon. You might have to keep it on the down low if your ex might be annoyed about it, that's if you're still in contact for kids etc.

Yeah even if we date it won't be very public in a sense. Now just gotta find a nice restaurant/outfit that's nothing like the usual kimono cardigans I wear all around!

Can I make the "kimono-ver to my place" joke?

Seriously, hope it goes well. Butterflies are fun 🦋

I have a first date in my new round of dating. On Thu and I'll call him Mr Decorator. I'd like to see Mr SciFi first, but that would mean me asking him out...never done that before. Any advice?

As a dude, just being asked out is great. I've had it both ways where someone has just asked me out and also where they've said a so are you gonna ask me out kinda way. Both work well :)

Personally I quite like the 'so are you going to ask me out' route - it cuts through the bullshit, with a nod towards your being the prize.

If you ask him out, incidentally, you're expected to pay for his drinks all evening :)

Date four is on with miss civil later this week when her kids are at their dads. Today she was bored so just sent me cheesy terrible joke after cheesy terrible joke, while I was at work.

I like this woman.

2 messages so far tonight, first one was 'hi sexy', the second was 'hello my princess'

Bangs head against brick wall.

lovemusic

'Hey there'

coverme info made me laugh that you two know each other Hooray for tattoos outing people

pringlecat have started doing some dance class in central London on Sunday evening. Really good fun - I'm generally vaguely shit at knowing my left and right and am sorta uncoordinated (the teacher isn't fussed if you don't get it right) I'm really enjoying it and the opportunity to meet new people (Want to come along?)

Biddylee Ooh, what kind of dance class? I'd actually love to do something like salsa (I also have issues with my left and right!) but I always feel it's more of a couples thing. I don't want to learn the male steps; if I do dance, I'd like to learn the girl steps!

When we did dance in school, we segregated the girls and boys, which was a stupid move because half of us learnt the wrong steps!

Lovemusic33 I was walking down Oxford Street the other day and a young lad in a taxi wound down the window to ask if he could have my number. When has that ever worked, eh? When?

Bant Fingers crossed for Miss Civil, Bant. You seem to have some legendary dates!

LanaDReye Be brave. We always feel like we shouldn't ask first, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't. Like Bant and InfoSec21 say, it rarely goes down badly!

Gah he's gone out so I'll have to ask later. Suspense will now build!

Worst case scenario if you ask a bloke to ask you out - he says no. In which case he was never going to ask you anyway, in which case no loss, or he feels emasculated by a woman showing a bit of independence, in which case, also no loss.

Biddylee

My friend does Ceroc dancing. See his friends from that most times we're out at the weekend and they've told me I'd be treated carefully as have balance, co-ordination issues etc. Just need to go when I'm actually available! Dancing people seem friendly

Oh my god I had to work late tonight and she whom I have been heavily flirting over text with brought a home-made quiche to my office!

I'm cannot stop smiling even though she's gone now somebody help me.

Ah pringle I've had some fairly shit dates in my time. Now I've just learned to be pickier :)

Someone has got to make me laugh out loud. A lot. Before I want to meet them.

I'm relatively attractive. I'm a good bloke. I'm amusing and interesting and have my bad habits but I'm better than many men, I think. And I have a job and kids and a social life which keep me busy.

So to get me to go out and probably pay for someone's drinks, possibly a meal, because no matter how modern we are, I'm aware that many women still like the man to pay if they want to see the woman again (and this is wrong but it's the way things are) so I'm buggered if I'm going to get all dressed up and travel and pay for someone to bore me with their stories about work.

So they've got to be funny. And hopefully we fancy each other too. This is why my dates are interesting nowadays.

Tomayto I'd definitely date someone who brought me quiche. Or any cheese based product, really.

Those of you paying on sites: does it put you off if someone in their profile says "I can't see if you like me so please message" (ie "I won't pay to be on here")?
It does me. AIBU? (😉)

Miss Civil does sound lovely. I agree it's not worth wasting time. Dating should be fun but it's not fun meeting an endless stream of people who bore you.
Seeing wildcard again Sunday. It's nice that it's a bank holiday as well. I like him.

pringlecat I do samba class. I can message you some more info if you like.

Allthembuckets I tried lots of different dance classes. I had a go at salsa and I love to be flung around the dance floor by a bloke... They lead and I follow... (and if they don't lead, I take charge) .

Actually went to a tea dance once, and this guy tried to lead me and I was trying to lead too and we had a tense move around the dance floor while one of us tried to take control.

Amen Bant.

I have to really want to meet someone, I don't to for the as many dates as possible kind of route.

Erm... I'm doing the opposite as going for as many coffees as I can before agreeing to a proper first date. I'd happily pay for mine and his so not after treats. I also have been writing to 11 men and 4 have the most potential. Interestingly, my Elite Singles subscription is coming to an end and has got me nowhere. All potentials are from free pof profile.

I've taken advice on here, plucked up some courage and now have a date tomorrow (Mr Bike), Thu (Mr Decorator)and setting up one for mid-week next week (Mr Fun). Hoping to fit another in this Wed morning if he's free (Mr SciFi, the one I think is most similar to me). I haven't outrightly asked I've just asked about tea/coffee, pretty obvious, and it's led from there. Still feeling braver than I have before

Tomayto any cheese snacks would make me happy too.

Far do you think you've met 'the one'? hope so I love romance

Pringle I have to ask, weren't you tempted to give the young man in the car your number to see if it did lead to anything?

I don't want to jinx it but he's lovely and it feels perfect. I am just going to enjoy it with him.
I know what you mean as well Lana. I call wildcard that because I had absolutely no real idea what he was going to look like from his one rubbish photo and I deliberately didn't ask for another pic. Just wanted to take a chance. Don't know why. I did like his messages but sometimes you just don't know till you meet in person.

LanaD could you do coffee dates with a mr butcher, mr baker and mr candlestickmaker pleeeeease? (your challenge for next week!!)

😂I will try for the hat-trick for you Biddy!