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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Wingletang1 · 22/04/2017 18:42

I have a first date tonight with mrchef, was not feeling nervous but have butterfly's now! We are both driving and just going for a drink, really hoping it goes well!

Bant · 22/04/2017 18:54

I don't know if it's actually the case that there are more doms etc on OKC, or just that you find out about it more quickly because of the questions. POF doesn't have those questions, nor does Match or Tinder, so the subject only comes up once you've actually got involved in a conversation with someone enough to discuss preferences. Or they just offer themselves as a slave.

MissCivil and I are trying to organise date 4.5 without a huge amount of success. Our child free weekends aren't synced yet and it will be a while before they can be, so we're having to try and work out how to snatch an hour or two here or there during the week. Not easy.

Wingletang1 · 22/04/2017 19:00

See what a tiz I'm in ... I was thinking about my last first date was with mrchef in January, this dates with mryouth!! Doh!!

Biddylee · 22/04/2017 19:01

wing just remember to call them the right name Grin

OutToGetYou · 22/04/2017 19:57

Oops, lost my temper with a guy I'd been 'chatting' to for a few days - he generally only messages once a day, which is totally hopeless. And pretty shallow boring messages (hard to get interesting across just one message a day anyway).

He says he's a surgeon (but has not heard of MSF??) and has been working abroad for 7 years. Today he told me his last relationship was 40 days - I said I wouldn't even call that a relationship, I've had longer holidays!
He then asked me what I look for in a man - I said just someone to spend time with; intelligent, communicative, emotionally stable.

He said 'you need to be more specific, looks or personality' - wtf??
I said; that's actually less specific. (between the lines - you're failing on 'intelligent' there)
He said; don't you agree that looks and personality are different things?

I mean - sorry, what?

So, that annoyed me and I said: so, you basically just want me to say 'looks' or 'personality' then? Are you 15?

Next!

Wingletang1 · 22/04/2017 19:57

I know!!! Just waiting in the car park! Hate this bit!

fortunacookie · 22/04/2017 20:38

Hope it goes well wingle Smile

Well mr private n I are both going through rollercoaster of emotions already n only had 5 dates! Seem to get on really well to the point of being sickly to totally misunderstanding each other over text!

God dating is so hard, if this don't work out then I'm handing in my dating hat

Bant · 22/04/2017 21:57

Ooooh do we get a hat?

Biddylee · 22/04/2017 22:03

Anyone very good at maths? (interesting ted talk on OLD)

LanaDReye · 23/04/2017 00:12

That was really useful Biddy . I was thinking I need to be clear from the start, but now think being clear on 'picky' objectives may be useful too. I have ticked 'favourite' on some male profiles so taking some control this time. May even write to some.

Wingletang1 · 23/04/2017 07:52

My date with mryouth went well. He's seems a really nice person. Sitting on the fence regarding spark though, we had a snog which was nice but not the best! We've arrange a second date for next Saturday, he's very keen. But I've woke up this morning worrying ... Certain things, he hates beaches, I love watching the sea, long walks on the beach. He hates getting dirty, in fact he spilt his drink on his top, started to panic about getting it dry cleaned, I have dogs and horses, I'm always muddy/dirty! He admitted about having OCD about folding clothes neatly!! My ex husband (abusive relationship) was a clean freak! These were all things brought up in a jokey way, but I'm now worrying about them. He was a really nice person, but I'm wondering now if not for me! Confused

LosingDory · 23/04/2017 08:04

I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't come to the beach with me, and the drink spilling thing would have left me like Hmm

OutToGetYou · 23/04/2017 09:03

I don't like beaches but I still go to them. It depends what he means by it, what I hate is sitting on beaches for hours, getting sunburned and bored and having to deal with sand in your knickers. Walking on them is fine.

But I wouldn't like someone who got worried cos of spilling a bit of drink.

I scared off my next iron by using the word mysogenistic, oh well, best to know early if he can't cope with my robust opinions!

Lovemusic33 · 23/04/2017 09:10

The beach thing would be a deal breaker for me too as I spend half the summer at the beach. I dated a guy once (met on POF) and for our 3rd date I took him to a beach, his profile said that he loved the beach, was into kayaking etc.., we got there, he had jeans and a jumper on in the middle of the summer, we walked along the beach and I jokingly splashed him a little (kicked a bit of water at him), he went crazy at me and I was actually quite scared at his behaviour. Later that day he told me that he loved me, I dumped him.

I have had a few more messages on POF but seriously getting fed up of getting messages from people who have noth No in common with me, they obviously haven't read my profile. My profile indicates that I am active, love the outdoors, have watching tv and hate the cinema. Most of the men who message me are obviously not active, smoke, drink and sit on the sofa watching movies or playing Xbox all day Sad. Would just love to find someone who loves being outdoors, isn't obese and shares one of my hobbies.

A guy that I has been messaging me for 2 years (on and off) that I went on 2 dates with has just messaged me a photo of some underwear he has bought me Hmm, I haven't seen him for almost 2 years and have mad it clear a number of times that I never want to be more than friends (text buddies). Feeling a bit creeped out by it.

Lovemusic33 · 23/04/2017 09:15

Also, need some advice.

When I started internet dating 2 years ago I chatted to a local man (didn't meet up with him) and we added each other on Facebook, we share some friends, his family are well known so I know a little bit about him. He is a single dad to a little girl which kind of put me off a little. From time to time he sends me a message to ask how I am and we talk about online dating. I'm pretty sure he has removed himself from the dating sights but doesn't seem to be seeing anyone. We share a hobby and seem to have a bit in common. I would like to suggest meeting up for a coffee but I don't know how to go about it, should I, shouldn't I?

Biddylee · 23/04/2017 09:26

Lana it is a good video - I had a bit of grit in my eye at the end Grin I will re-watch it again and start doing my homework!

wing I'd cancel the date - sounds like too many mismatches.

Love Go for it! Nothing to lose!

Does anyone do the paying sites on here such as match, GSM, etc? Any good?

OutToGetYou · 23/04/2017 09:52

You need my matches LM, they all seem to be lycra clad biking ninjas, where I break out in a sweat if I have to walk to the car.
I thought it was pretty hard to meet a man these days who doesn't cycle?

Lovemusic33 · 23/04/2017 09:58

There does seem to be quite a few that cycle or run, I cycle a little but I'm mainly a walker/hiker as I like to take in my surroundings and I often have my camera with me. I don't necisaraly want a gym bunny or fitness freak, just someone who is active, maybe someone who likes to surf or just someone who walks a lot.

Polarbearflavour · 23/04/2017 11:03

First date with Mr Train Driver went well - coffee turned into a walk and then dinner.

Mr Scientist whatsapping me yesterday and said he's still thinking about a place to go for a roast today. It's now 11am, he's wished me a happy St George's Day and not mentioned meeting today as planned for date 2.

Hmm
LanaDReye · 23/04/2017 11:45

Polar do you think he could be disorganised? I've dated men that plan 10 min before going out and don't care what they wear or that they could have booked something.

My plan to be more upfront is helping as I'm using it to be clear with my replies to potential dates. Rather than move onto what's app quickly I'm going to check vital requirements first!

Polarbearflavour · 23/04/2017 11:47

Lana - maybe. Just a bit irritated. I'm not going to sit around waiting so going to take myself off for a nice brunch instead!

LanaDReye · 23/04/2017 11:54

Polar yes do that. If he then asks you can be honest and say you assumed it was off as he didn't contact you.

I ended the relationship with my mr disorganised (so disorganised he couldn't clean himself or his house - yuk).

RunnnyMummy · 23/04/2017 11:57

polar I wouldn't wait around for anyone that disorganised. Your date with Mr Train Driver sounds good.

I'm going to Mr Gym's house tonight for dinner. I worked out this is date 8 and it's a month since we met. Which seems like a lot of dates in a short space of time. He's working all day then has some family stuff going on, so I offered him the chance to cancel but he refused and is cooking dinner. I remain cautious but for now I'm just enjoying the attention.

Polarbearflavour · 23/04/2017 14:59

message from Mr Scientist at half 1:

"Just about waking up. It might be a bit late for a roast. Do you fancy a drink and or walk?"

I haven't replied.

LanaDReye · 23/04/2017 15:07

Polar I wouldn't have either lazy git mr train driver sounds much better!

I'm now writing to 7 men through pof. One I wrote to months ago and I chose to date another man but always wondered 'what if' as we chatted well on pof. Now I think I would multi-date as I haven't got anywhere with reducing my options quickly.

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