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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 21/04/2017 16:12

Lana I have had quite a few Doms seeking submissive even though my profile clearly states that I'm looking for serious relationship and not hook ups.

I have had a message on Tinder but I'm not sure if I should reply, it was just a boring 'hey, how are you today?', the man is a northaner and he looks very very tall. I struggle with Tinder as no one reveals much on their profiles, I like to know a bit more about a person rather than just going on physical attraction.

LanaDReye · 21/04/2017 17:02

Cover I know, it's just strange to get:
Him: hey
Him: hey again

Me: Hey you (I did this as his profile said he works in similar field & wanted relationship, plus it made me laugh to write 'hey')

Him: Do you know what I want?

Me: No??

Him: I am a dom seeking a submissive to have a good play with.

😂😂😂

Love glad it's not just me!

RunnnyMummy · 21/04/2017 17:02

lovemusic on Tinder I like to ask 2 or 3 this or this questions. Cats or dogs. Dark or white chocolate. Cinema or walk in the country. I ask them all at once. So they have to write an interesting reply.
I've only had one match who didn't bother to reply to the questions. He just asked how r u?

LanaDReye · 21/04/2017 17:05

Love could you reply with "hi, tell me about yourself", i.e. make him give you more than his image? otherwise he coukd be a lazy arse

Mangoandpassionfruit · 21/04/2017 17:17

Just laughing at all of these heys, and seeking submissive messages. I had last night, first message, nice enough looking chap. Hey, fancy some naughty bedroom fun!!! Errr that would be no thanks, not difficult is it? Yet it feels like wading through mud. We should definitely set up our own dating site with very exclusive membership 😂 Heys not allowed

Lovemusic33 · 21/04/2017 17:30

Great ideas mummy and Lana ,I will give it a go. I always hate messaging first but I think I need to bite the bullet as I'm not getting many people messaging me.

Just messaged the man that contacted me on POF, let's call him Mr tree surgeon, he seems quite nice but asked me if I would like to meet him pretty much straight away, I told him I am busy this weekend but would like to meet him soon rather than messaging for ages, not sure if he's really my type, we have a lot in common but he's a lot younger than men I usapually date and he's quite good looking (looks fit).

user1490465531 · 21/04/2017 18:29

doesn't going on lots of first dates that do not go anywhere get depressing though?
I hate the whole dating business -do not get excited at the prospects of first dates and just want to get coupled up so I don't have to go through the dating process anymore.

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 21/04/2017 18:38

I quite enjoy first dates and meeting new people. I think it's best to view it as meeting people rather than a date.
I agree about all the sexual preferences being a bit much. Ok cupid is really bad for that. Someone offered to be my naked cleaner on there!! I was tempted Grin though the sight of some random bloke's fruit and veg swinging about when he puts my bins out might rather upset the neighbours!
Off to meet wildcard for our hotel weekend now.
Good luck to everyone on dates this weekend.

OutToGetYou · 21/04/2017 19:08

I like first dates too, I don't view them as dates though.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 21/04/2017 19:09

Pringles, my entire right arm is done so a big area is covered for sure :)

I noticed that the day after I stopped responding to Miss Dog on PIG (new name for POF), she deleted her account. I could see that in my messages. Oops, sorry Miss Dog.

OP posts:
Applez123 · 21/04/2017 19:44

Thanks for this thread! I've been lurking for ages while I go through the agonies of OLD.. I'm still totally puzzled by 80% of the men i'm in contact with, but I'm very pleased it's not just me experiencing it

Biddylee · 21/04/2017 19:55

info Miss Dog on PIG sounds like it should be a band name Grin

Faron I like the idea of a naked cleaner too Grin

Polarbearflavour · 21/04/2017 20:01

I just want to get to the couply stage Sad

I'm seeing Mr Scientist for date 2 Sunday - he suggested a nice walk and gastro pub lunch. He's been away so not seen him but he has been Whatsapping me, all very chatty and smiley emoticons.

First date with Mr Train Driver tomorrow - coffee during the day.

And a first date with a dashing naval officer from work on Tuesday!

Lovemusic33 · 21/04/2017 21:18

I like meeting people and the excitement of the first date but I get really anxious and nervous. I have got to the point where I don't get my hopes up and just look at it as 'making new friends and if I'm lucky finding something a bit more special', most of the people I have met have been pretty keen to have a 2nd date, it's usually me that's the one that doesn't feel anything ,usually because they are not how I imagined them to be or they look nothing like their photo.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 21/04/2017 21:28

I can't imagine getting a 2nd date, it's been ages since that happened!!

OP posts:
Bant · 21/04/2017 22:06

I don't get particularly anxious on a first date. I've been on lots where it's been a pleasant enough chat with someone but I didn't fancy them. Some where I did fancy them but they didn't fancy me. Some where we mutually fancied each other but it just tailed off somehow afterwards.

Now it's just a night out where you know it may be entertaining, it may be dull. Like going to a play or the cinema. With the potential to be far better, or painful and awkward.

Date 5 next week with Miss civil. Still trying to work her out, but we're both exclusive now, it seems.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 21/04/2017 22:22

Tell you what I don't like about first meets. You and them have decided within a few seconds if you fancy each other. So you can be sat there liking someone and hoping it's going well but ever since three seconds into meeting you, they already knew they didn't want to be there. That's a bad thought.

I'd love to be able to just say right, I do/don't fancy you, what do you think about me? If you wanna cut and run now, it's absolutely fine etc.

OP posts:
Bant · 21/04/2017 22:25

That's why first dates should probably be coffee rather than dinner, info

Lovemusic33 · 21/04/2017 22:36

I agree bant though I have had som epretty intense 1st dates where we have arranged a day out, never a good idea in case you don't really click, it's hard to get away. Have also just met up for coffee and have wanted to run away after half an hour Grin, I am quite easy going, seem to get on with most people so am happy to have coffee or a quite drink in a pub, chat, make friends and then draw a line under it if we don't click. I have stayed in contact with a couple 1st dates.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 21/04/2017 22:49

Just had a notification I've not seen from Tinder before. It said three people have liked you, start swiping to see if you like them too, or words to that effect.

OP posts:
MrsRolandRat · 21/04/2017 22:57

So my friendly meet up with a guy I dated 10 years ago went well. And I still fancied him 10 years later. Seeing him again on Tuesday...a hard one because we've slept together in the past, I just don't rush into dtd these days because I prefer to get to know someone. Not quite sure if that applies to someone I've already slept with, even if it was 10 years ago.

user1490465531 · 21/04/2017 23:07

anyone on here dating in late 30s.I'm 38 and would be interested to hear anyone's experience of old in this age group as I'm struggling with what age limit to set for matches

MrsRolandRat · 21/04/2017 23:13

Me user I'm 38 too. My age bracket is 33-48. But I only tend to date men with children as I have one and adamant I want no more! I met a lovely lovely guy when I first started OLD he was younger (5years) but wanted kids so it never would have gone the distance. Shame really.

user1490465531 · 21/04/2017 23:17

see for me Roland 48 feels to old but I guess that is the top end of your age bracket.
maybe I should rethink as was going to put 35-42 but maybe that's limiting myself to much.

LanaDReye · 21/04/2017 23:17

MrsRR I think it's still up to you. If you would normally wait until you feel comfortable why not wait again?

I'm currently debating if I'm 'normal'. My last relationship was almost at 3 months and we did spend a lot of time together. Whenever we spoke about the future it was basically him telling me how it would be though and the split was down to his controlling edge. I have already gone back to OLD as I feel it's a numbers and an attempts game, but if I tell a new date that I've had 3 short relationships in a row plus extra dates in a 9 month period will I seem desperate/unstable?

Friends and family seem to think my dating should go at a slower pace, but they're coupled up so don't understand things can change quickly.

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