Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

It's quite difficult but I guess if you think to some conversations you might have had in the past, they might have just flowed better. I think if you're stuck for something to say to someone, it might be an indication that it's not for you.

I was chatting to someone and it was going really well but all she's been talking about lately is her dog and I've ran out of things to say and ran out of f*cks to give about what a dog is doing on the garden.

That made me laugh info. I had a guy like that with his collection of bikes that he kept in his bedroom!! It's so difficult, I'm going to try and persevere with this one, maybe he was just trying his luck! I think my problem is before Christmas, I started seeing someone, mrmountainbike, we split up because of the distance, we've started chatting again over the last 3 weeks, we get on so well, but I've put him in the friends box as I don't want to get hurt again. But my conversations aren't as good with anyone else! It's never easy is it!

People who talk about dogs all the time are as bad as those who talk about children all the time.

I don't ask the things you've suggested at all Wingle. I ask them if they're having a good day, what food they like, what films they like, TV shows, bands.....what they did over the weekend.....

One has just answered with three words - so unless he bucks up a bit, he's out (I had 9 messages today so I am being picky). They need to as questions too, to keep things going.

It would only be after about a week I might ask how long they have been single.

I think of three word replies as placeholders. People who are too busy talking to other people to actually reply to me. I want people to be interested, and interesting, otherwise what's the point.

I ask : so, what's the worst joke you can remember. What's the last film you went to see? Where did you last go on holiday. Do you have kids?

Sometimes I'll fire five questions in one go : red wine or white. Favourite character from game of thrones. Dogs or cats. Do you like your job and why. What would you do third if you won the lottery?

Rapid fire questions either confuse people (who I wouldn't want to get in a conversation with) or get them enthused and chatty. And they ask me the same back, and then we fire questions back and forth, getting more challenging.

At least, those who are interesting do that. Others give bland answers and they're not interesting to chat to, so I drop and move on.

I want to meet someone interesting and imaginative and enthusiastic about talking about random crap, so this works for me.

Ooops im guilty of talking about my dogs a lot sometimes ha.

wingletang - i found someone like that. We just clicked together perfectly. A relationship wasnt going to happen due to health issues and distance but we seen each other often and spoke daily. Not so much now due to ill health on his side, but when we do speak, that click is still very much there

I ask if they have children as I don't really want to date someone with young children or no children. Also I wouldn't want to date someone who is newly single.

Hi I originally joined this thread in Aug 16, then popped back in Oct and Jan and back now (namechanged). I'm yo-yoing from several 2 month short relationships. I also went on four other dates after writing over lots of OLD sites, so not all 2 months. This thread has helped keep me sane before as the advice is reliable so I'd like to join in again.

My Elite Singles subscription will end in a week or so as I signed up for 6 months. Wondering whether to renew. Has anyone tried similar site and got lucky?
Just thinking pof is free and been the most useful so far!

I should add I did hope the dating would go further but I've found at 2 months the persona drops and/or differences can appear and it's a case of deciding if it's better to carry on or better to end as friends. I have had good experiences overall.

Yes nipples, the click is very much there for both of us, huge chemistry too, but I'm keeping my distance for now, as there is no way we could just go for a drink and nothing happen. He is only person I've felt completely wow for, which does make it hard, what if wow doesn't come along again?! But the distance is still the same, so for now, I'm having to be content with having him as a friend.

More messages - I can't keep up tonight!
I've decided not to reply to one whose message was just too boring.
The three word man has stepped up but he's not very interesting.
Pareto man has shown he's not as clever as his username suggested (username include Pareto, I asked him if he was 'a principled type of guy', conversation started....later he asks me if I know of the Pareto rule....well...yeah...see first message....). Not holding it against him.
Rejected one for being too far away.
Guy who did a generic message and I called him on it asking him to tell me, without looking back, what he liked in my profile - to be fair, he's admitted it and now we're chatting and he has now read it.

Two have gone quiet, good job too!

I like you're questions bant. I do ask fav film, holidays, but like the idea of firing loads at once, hadn't thought of cat/dog, red/white wine. My poor new iron wont know what's hit him! I I'll call him mryouth.

Hi again everyone, have been reading all the posts but not posted in about a week. Thought I had met a potential partner in Mr pizza but is looking like it will not last. Slightly weird date last week (7th), I ended up asking him about next meet up which I hadn't had to do before, that date (would have been tomorrow) has now been cancelled for seemingly genuine reasons but there has also been a very noticeable reduction in messages although the tone is the same. So am a little unsure how I feel about it, but it definitely doesn't bode too well. If it was anyone else posting I would probably be thinking it can only mean one thing. But will give it a few days to see if there is any change. I suggested a telephone call instead of the date itself, if that doesn't happen I think I will know the answer. If it does, I will ask about the change in comms. Thick skin, thick skin!!!

I like throwing a bunch of questions at people as you can gauge whether they're interesting in asking you some back or whether they're just enjoying being a quiz show contestant for a few minutes.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this guys...
I've exchanged no.s with a man I met via OLD, we've messaged via WhatsApp just a bit of banter haven't spoken yet. He then sent me a 3min video that's he's put together, essentially a combination of video clips and photo's showing highlights of what he's been up to last few weeks. At the very end he's included a picture of me (taken off my dating profile). My immediate reaction was OMG that's weird I'm scared. AIBU and overreacting? I'm getting ready to block him

nurse making the video in the first place is weird, sending it to you is weird, but including you in it is creepy as fuck. Block him, I would

Ewww yeah I agree that's just too obsessive

It's really hard plenty when they do the quieten down bit isn't it? MrPrivate and I have been so intense with each other over texts since we met really. We then spent an amazing two days together n he admitted he is finding it a bit overwhelming now but I'm thinking well at least he being honest now. I got a bit insecure last night n he was a bit short with me but this morning he sent me a lovely text saying I'll be in his thoughts all day so I just gotta chill the fuck out

LanaDReye yeah the two month glitch happens to me too...it's usually when I get bored for the most part tho.

Your username just brought back a lovely memory for me as I love 'video games' and that song totally reminds me of a sexy guy from Blackburn I met a few years ago. Was just sex but wow !

Losingdory and fortunacookie
Thanks for responding - he's now blocked!

Yeah right to block him, that sounds a bit weird. He probably thought it was a good insight into his life and cute to include you but nah, it's just a bit over the top and odd.

How do I block some on POF without clicking on their profile? Mr nice (obviously not so nice) keeps opening new profiles and sending me abuse, just noticed he has set a new profile up and I want to block him and his behaviour is boarderlinine stalker ish. Though his new profile does make me laugh, I haven't clicked on it but I can see the first line of his description which reads 'average looking man with a rugby player build' (he's not a rugby player build, he is obese and not muscular at all) .

I have had 2 messages on POF this week, both don't look normal at all, one has loads of dogs (I don't mind dogs, I have 2 but don't really want someone who states 'my dogs are my children'.

LoveMusic I don't know about the blocking on POF, but if he keeps opening new profiles in order to send abuse I think you should report him to POF.

lovemusic just ignore his new profile. But if he contacts you then report him and make sure you report his profiles at the same time.

It is very easy to create new profiles on POF and have multiple profiles.

Also if you go to your mail settings (under edit profile on the app) then there is an option to show users if you've looked at their profile. If you set this to "no" then you can look at a profile without them knowing. And block them if necessary.

You can report messages to POF I think, inside the actual message - I would be doing that every single time he did it.