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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
heartbroken40 · 17/04/2017 21:25

Out, he is the banker guy, so fit but showing his age. Not muscly or the gym type just one of those attractive men who work in the City. But really it is time to move on I have spent over a week thinking and dreaming about him so I feel disappointed now. Well, he was only words on a screen after all...how crazy is it this getting attached to people you don't know?

Dieu · 17/04/2017 21:25

Runny do you think he had cottoned on that it was you, or was he totally genuine?

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 21:28

Maybe it's worth talking it through. If you think he's sincere. The question is if you will trust him in future.
I think it's quite a relaxed thing on fri. I'm out with my friend watching a musical so I'm meeting him after. Really like him. Just not sure what to do with my other irons now.

OutToGetYou · 17/04/2017 21:31

Heartbroken - I was responding to your comment about pouty busty women being all that men are interested in. I think many men are a bit scared of women like that - in the same way I'm a bit scared of gym-bunny men.

OutToGetYou · 17/04/2017 21:33

So Mr3WeekWait (who will get a new name if he becomes a serious contender) has replied within the hour, so that's better.

I have another new iron who I am going to call MrCake - I messaged him first, and he replied, and he said I'd made him laugh, and he asked me a question - so this shows a bit of promise. (I like cake)

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 21:36

I think men actually do prefer a more natural look.
Lots of irons and activity on the thread at the moment. Must be spring Easter Smile

Biddylee · 17/04/2017 21:52

Runny Sounds really confusing but I would be struggling to trust him again. Good luck with sorting out what you want to do.

outtoget great smiley pic Grin

Faroonto your last night guy seems to be rushing things. Sounds like you had a fun time but I'd leave off meeting his workmates.

I had a nose on POF today and spotted one of my exs from ten years ago. Grin

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 22:00

It's just a leaving do he's at and I'm meeting him after. So I'm not bothered about that really. He's just out in town at the same time as I am, so I think he's just meeting me after. Might say a quick hi, but tyen.it'll just be us two. I've quite a few irons now though and I'm not sure what to do. I have a date Sunday, a date two and Mr M & S wants to see me. I did tell wildcard I didn't know him well enough to be exclusive yet, so don't worry, my feet are firmly on the ground!

Biddylee · 17/04/2017 22:19

Faronto Sounds fun and busy Grin. Which one is your fave?

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 22:30

Wildcard (Sunday and Monday's epic date 1) is a clear front runner, but I am wary of not getting attached too early, so I'm going to honour the other dates and just not look for any others. They really are like buses.

Wildcard is named so because I couldn't tell if I was going to like him from his one picture. I like a risky one sometimes Wink

OutToGetYou · 17/04/2017 23:03

Crikey, I've had 35 people who "want to meet me" today on POF. One added me as a favourite. No new first messages but one picked up from a couple of weeks ago and two I have messaged first have replied though one has now mentioned wanking so that's the end of him (it was a joke, but out of synch really).

Princessmollygolly · 17/04/2017 23:59

Just when I was feeling a bit paranoid about health-induced delays in date 3 with Irish Guy,he initiated and we have been exchanging some very nice (and rather flirty) texts this evening which has cheered me up no end! Come on teeth-- heal soon!! My update on that date, when it comes, will prob just be OMG SO EXCITED.... Smile (it's been over a whole week now!!)

LosingDory · 18/04/2017 06:58

I most definitely am not busty or pouty and don't do flower crown pictures, and I am in a relationship with a lovely guy I met OLD (still here because I'm nosy). Just be yourself and don't take it personally if you get rejected, that's the name of the game!

OutToGetYou · 18/04/2017 09:22

I don't even know how to do those pictures people do with silly cartoons on their heads. I don't use Instagram.

I suspect this is less common in my age group anyway. As are hen do photos.

heartbroken40 · 18/04/2017 10:37

Thanks all, I haven't found many plain vanilla profiles of women, but I will just be myself. If I find a good person, fine, otherwise I can learn to live without romantic love. It is really as simple as that.

Bant · 18/04/2017 11:15

One thing to remember is that you explicitly don't want to look like all the other profile photos. You want to stand out from a crowd of photoshopped pouty women.

OutToGetYou · 18/04/2017 11:18

I have had several new 'want to meets' (can't view these) and two more unsolicited messages (neither appear to have read my profile, both say they did and found it 'interesting' but have not actually commented on anything in it) just this morning. I think a slight reword of my profile has bumped it up in the stats.

And a reply from another message I sent last night - I am quite pleased with my initial message to this guy - his profession is down as geologist and his 'personality' type is 'chef'. So I asked him if he mainly cooks rock cakes :)

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 18/04/2017 14:18

Ha ha love that :)

OP posts:
RunnnyMummy · 18/04/2017 14:24

outto that's a great message. Funny and shows you've read his profile.
Heartbroken just be yourself. I like the photos that look natural. Not selfies or posed just to look good.

Against all advice I have decided to give Mr Gym a second chance. I thought all night about what he said, how I feel and also his body language which is why I wanted a face to face meeting. I believe he's just been on dating sites too long is addicted to looking, so when he got a message from fake me he couldn't help himself.
I know it's not good, but we get on well together. Like old friends. I can't find him on POF now so it looks like he's deleted his profile. We've agreed to talk more and back off a little as it was a bit intense.

NurseButtercup · 18/04/2017 14:25

heartbroken40

If its any comfort, I don't post pouty pictures and I don't show any cleavage. I've exchanged numbers with two men in the last week. Both have been single for YEARs...one for 10 years (not sure 100% believe him) and the other for 4 years. Both have asked me to consider removing my profile to focus/prioritise them.

These two have come along after my profile has been active for at least 3months with hardly any messages and I'd resigned myself to singledom forever.

Yesterday, I had a message from a guy asking me what I'd eaten for dinner? I tried to ask more personal questions and he directed me back to his profile for "all I need to know about him" (strange). He's now blocked me and disappeared.

OLD can be soul destroying so you have to harden up quite quickly and be patient. It can take a little while before anybody interesting comes along, but try your best to enjoy the ride ;-)

I think I'm going to line up dates for this Saturday and Sunday. I'll keep you posted.

zanywany · 18/04/2017 14:43

Lots of good dates from everyone at the moment, just catching up and will then update

Dieu · 18/04/2017 15:04

Runny it doesn't hurt to give the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Otherwise you'd always be wondering 'what if'.

Do try googling his OLD username though. I did that with a previous iron, and he appeared on loads of sites, including some niche ones! Shock

Good luck!

OutToGetYou · 18/04/2017 16:08

I have had two more initiating messages today and a ton more 'want to meets' - what is going on, how can one different pic (albeit with a bit of a smile) make that much difference??

Bant · 18/04/2017 17:09

It's just the randomness of OD - they select profiles to promote, move to the top of the list in search results etc. Sometimes this is triggered by a change in the profile pictures or text, sometimes it's triggered by a subscription expiring, sometimes it's random.

Wingletang1 · 18/04/2017 21:39

So after a bit of advice .... what are the main questions you ask in the first couple of days .... I ask how long they've been single and do they have children, but then I get stuck. Do you ask what are they looking for? Or is that too forward. I seem to be really struggling to get conversations going at the moment. I had a date lined up for Friday, but have cancelled as convo became boring, and another lined up for Saturday night who seemed really nice, but the messaging as nose dived into, I'd describe myself as horny and sexy!!! It was going so well before that! Ggrrr!! Feeling a bit fed up about it all!