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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Mumfun · 16/04/2017 18:58

Oh great to hear of lots of successful dates!

So sorry Runny what a shit

Princess Hope it all heals up soon. Had major dental recently and it is so horrid!

Had date 2 with Mr G today and he is lovely and intelligent and loads in common and everything I should want. But not feeling it sadly - dont feel the chemistry. Several other irons now so hope for a few more dates over next week.

fortunacookie · 16/04/2017 19:06

Not prepared to give it a shot mumfun? He may be a grower

Mumfun · 16/04/2017 19:11

Hi was second date for precisely that reason. And did grow but not enough Sad

And OLD is so bizarre. Just been hidden or blocked by one of my irons who was keen to meet this morning. Obviously changed their mind Shock

Princessmollygolly · 16/04/2017 19:21

Fortuna I know the feeling, it's funny when sometimes you just "know" it's happening with a new guy. I dated someone for a couple of months and I never got there, I spent so much time wondering if I liked him enough! Whereas with Irish Guy who I am currently seeing it just seems right but I can't put my finger on why. Love it when that happens Smile

outmyhair · 16/04/2017 19:21

ugh need to vent about my terrible second date. total flake, late (again), misogynistic, rude, and as he drank more and more, argued with everything I said!

was just gonna ghost him but he's blocked ME on fb Shock why does that still sting even though it was literally the worst date of my life Grin

AnnaNimmity · 16/04/2017 19:27

wow bant sounds er promising!

My date last night was ok, but not brilliant and I sent him the no spark message this morning. Felt guilty especially as he asked why.

Date tomorrow during the day. I'm not good at daytime dates - need alcohol.

I've decided to get more proactive about finding some more irons. Have swiped a bit on bumble this evening.

MrUniversity (who I had a first date with a couple of weeks ago) seems to have cooled off. he's suggested the week after this for date 2, but doesn't seem that keen. Pity, I really liked him (and we had a nice snog at the end).

Pavonia · 16/04/2017 19:58

I had a pleasant messaging session with a guy this morning, but I suspect he is not the one for me. So many guys I speak to give the fact that they haven't got a girlfriend as the reason why they don't regularly do things that they supposedly like doing. I prefer someone with a bit of get up and go.

I was messaging two guys before the weekend who are away and who I have in principle agreed to meet. I hope they still want to as they both seem promising.

I'm envious of all of you who have had great dates over the weekend.

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 16/04/2017 20:18

He's bought me cocktails and lobster! SLIGHTLY DRUNKGrin

Bant · 16/04/2017 20:31

mango

Well the reason I have rules about not DTD too soon, is that as I find out more about someone I go off them. Or you overlook stuff about someone early on because of lust-coloured glasses, and then once you've gone to bed with them those come off and reality sets in and you realise they're not actually so perfect after all.

I don't think MissCivil is perfect. But she's very funny and clever and attractive. And pretty good in bed. I like her, a lot.

I'm not over investing, I don't think, I'm not chatting to anyone else (and told her that) as I want to see how this goes, but I'm realistic that it may not work out. In fact, it probably won't, long term, as I think it's rare to find someone fantastic.

But I haven't seen a reason why it won't yet, and in the meantime she's very good to spend time with, she makes me laugh a lot. The chemistry was pretty intense (that thing when you're standing in front of someone and looking at each other's eyes and you can see their hands twitching, and your hands are twitching, because you just want to start pulling each other's clothes off, and you're trying not to but..)

So it felt right, as I like her a lot, I didn't think I needed more time if I liked her enough to still like her after going to bed with her.

I'm a zombie today though

OutToGetYou · 16/04/2017 20:44

Best loo update ever FarOnTo!

fortunacookie · 16/04/2017 20:50

Bant it's really great to hear that some men really don't just want to get a women into bed...very rare

Mr private n I have literally exchanged hundreds of texts n spoke about 5 times on the phone since our date Thursday and not once had their been any sexual undertone at all..it's very refreshing but making me erm a little hot under the collar Blush

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 16/04/2017 22:29

We've kissed. Dancing to urban classics in a dingy but trendy underground bar. He's buying me expensive gin. I like him more than all of the others

Princessmollygolly · 16/04/2017 22:47

Yay madding sounds like a really fun date Grin

Nipplesunited · 16/04/2017 23:43

Well the one i was possibly meeting yesterday who went silent... He spoke today saying he had been ill all weekend.

I think he just wasnt ready to meet yet. He wants to meet at the end of may, after we have spoke to each other a fair bit online.
Surprised because thats how i was, but no one else seemed to be.
Has anyone else came across a man who wants to wait to meet?

We have a lot in common and both seem to want the same things in life. Hes also the only one im really talking to. Simply because i cant be bothered anymore

fortunacookie · 17/04/2017 00:46

Something mr private has said to me tonight has really worried me.. we haven't DTD yet n things were getting flirty tonight on both sides n then he said 'I'm worried I'm not gonna be enough for you' when I asked what he meant he said it was cos I'm so gorgeous but I think he meant in bed I.e not big enough or something. I'm trying not to be shallow n don't want king dong for a bf but what if he's tiny? It will be so sad as I know I won't be happy long term

God I feel so shallow Sad

OutToGetYou · 17/04/2017 01:43

If you were shallow his length would not be a problem. HTH :)

LosingDory · 17/04/2017 06:30

nipples I wouldn't mind a man who wanted to wait a couple of weeks but the end of may is far too long away and I would push for an earlier meeting, or more likely, sack him off altogether. Would wonder at his reasons for wanting to wait such a long time - what if you chat to him for that long and there's no chemistry when you meet?

fortunacookie · 17/04/2017 07:33

Haha like it outtogetyouGrin

Pavonia · 17/04/2017 07:52

Nipples I agree with LosingDory I would be worried that he either has issues or an agenda. He might string you along and never meet. I don't understand why two people who seem to be a good match wouldn't want to meet up for a drink or coffee in person, unless there are practical issues.

Could he be in a relationship? Have you managed to check out online that he is real?

Bant · 17/04/2017 08:18

nipples - I agree too. Someone who wants to chat for six more weeks - well that's either someone who has no self confidence about their looks, and wants you to fall in luuurve with them before ever meeting, or someone who is a scammer or married man who will never meet, just wants to string out the conversation, or someone whose life is so busy that they wouldn't have time for a relationship anyway.

It would be a massive waste of your time if you turned up for a drink six weeks from now and just didn't see how you could ever fancy him.

If I were you, tell him that in your experience it's really better to meet up sooner rather than later. You're allowed to state your preferences on this, you know. If what he wants isn't what you want, you don't have to go along with his plan, you can just tell him to get back to you when he's ready to meet and ignore him until then.

fortuna don't overthink. That could mean many things. Stamina, looks, technique, libido..

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 08:25

I agree, I wouldn't want to wait that long.
Wildcard is still here. Have not dtd. But has been fun.

Bluegirl25 · 17/04/2017 09:06

I wouldn't wait till the end of May, I find that really strange that he'd want to do that. It you both get on he should be keen to meet up x

Mangoandpassionfruit · 17/04/2017 09:18

Agree, not being willing to meet is a bit of a no go. You can invest weeks in people who only want a penpal or just get on and meet and see if it works. If it doesn't then fine at least you know. I've learnt the hard way about overinvesting on text.
Date with Mr Italy, fine, which is never really a great word on a first date 😊 No spark but nice. Off to meet Mr Photography for coffee. Have a good day everyone

Nipplesunited · 17/04/2017 09:41

I havent checked him out online. Should i push him for facebook?
His contract runs out at the end of june. He is working overtime and doing lots of house hunting so he can have his own place by the time his contract is up. This is the reason he gave for wanting to meet in may - when he has enough money. I told him that is far too long and he said we could try and meet sooner but it never happened.
Money also isnt even needed as we are both set on just going for a nice walk, possibly grabbing a coffee or something along the way.

Mango - i hope your coffee with mr photography is a great date :)

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 17/04/2017 09:44

Maybe try the Facebook thing and see what he says.
Have great dates everyone.
Mine is still going from last night