social services took my beautiful children

[user1491683745]

it really is not fair to do it to someone who absolutely loves and adores them they really need me and are probably so unhappy i am so done with life and really really want them with me

The OP is long since gone - not surprised really as a number of posters couldn't even be bothered to get her son's age right or take note of the history with childlike, but everyone keeps wading in. if you are still there OP hope you are as ok as possible. It is Monday tomorrow so please see a specialist solicitor Asap to get the help you need, I'm sure you will get some news soon.

Namechanger - you seem completely focused on believing the adult.

I am not suggesting the op is not being truthful, and I feel for any parent in such a difficult situation, but let's not forget that the police would not have removed the children unless they believed there was an immediate risk to their safety. And let's not forget that it seems that this decision was made on disclosure/allegation of the eldest child.

What decision would you make if a child made a disclosure to you that suggested they weren't safe at home?

I hope tomorrow is a useful day for you OP. Sunday must have been awful, with everything shut, like legal advisors and SS.

To all the people commenting that social workers take children away from their homes only if their is a very good reason, that is SO untrue!

lover is correct - all we know is that a 12yo boy has made allegations. We have no way of knowing where or not they are true.

Of course children are very often removed and then returned, because they were not actually at risk at all, or the risk of harm was not as high as originally thought .

Some of you here seem to think it's " guilt until proved innocent " .

What happened to " we believe you " to this poor mother ?

Kristina - do you think that a 12 year old making what must be very serious allegations is not a good reason to remove? Or are you suggesting that the professionals involved should not believe him?

Some of you here seem to think it's " guilt until proved innocent

It has to be in the case of a child who may be at risk. Can't take chances, can they?

I'm suggesting neither of these things .

I am stating the legal position that the parents are innocent until they are proved guilty.

Many people here have assumed that the mother is guilty and are blaming her.

I'm also concerned about the terrible trauma suffered by the 3yo and 7yo here,who may have no idea at all why they have been removed from their home by total strangers . At least the 12yo knows what's going on. I sincerely hope that these children have not been split up into different emergency placements.

I know cases like this where a whole family were remove because of the false allegations of a teenager ( you will know of many publicised cases ) .

Can you imagine what this does to sibling relationship , when the children finally return home? Young children have their lives destroyed for a year or so and their safety and security lost forever, because their older sibling was pissed off at his parent / step parent. How do you think they get over this ?

How do they go back to their old school with everyone talking about them being removed ?

So unless it turns out that they are indeed at very serious risk, this is a terrible, terrible thing to happen.

People here talk about it glibly without any empathy for the children and parents involved. They think that their feelings don't count because they are not Good Parenst Like Us, they are Bad People.

It makes them feel better to " other " families who find themselves in this situation. They chant blindly " if you are innocent you are safe " .

It's simply not true.

Some children are wrongly removed and suffer. Some children are wrongly left and suffer.

There are many many official reports which have shown this. I'm not sure why you find it such a controversial statement.

By the way, I'm not assuming OP is guilty. I just understand why the children needed to be removed.

It's a terrible situation and I wish she would come back and update us

Kristina - I don't see many people here assuming the mother's guilt.

I see a lot of assumptions in your post.

What would you do if you were a professional in this instance? Would you assume the child was 'pissed off' with his parents and do nothing?

Of course some children do make false allegations - against parents, foster careers, teachers etc. Just as some adults make false allegations of rape, domestic violence, abuse etc.

In order to protect children we have to take appropriate action to keep them safe while allegations are investigated. And please remember any allegation that warrants removal by the police must be of a level that strongly indicates the child(ren) are at immediate risk of significant harm. That is a high threshold.

None of the above means making an assumption that the parent is guilty.

I am stating the legal position that the parents are innocent until they are proved guilty

So why are they being punished?
Why are the children being punished?
Why is there so much secrecy?
Why are the reasons behind such a removal kept from the parents?

The priority is not the parent's rights - innocent until proven guilty is irrelevant in the instant, because it takes too long to establish.
All that matters is ensuring the children's safety. Sometimes that means they have to be removed from the home while the case is being investigated.
This kind of action is not taken lightly. It does not presume guilt. The children may well suffer in the process, but that has to be weighed up against the risk of them coming to extremely serious harm if they are left at home.
It will be investigated and the parents will get the opportunity to put their side, but the immediate priority must be the children's safety.

The system is BADLY broken and anyone who refuses to see that needs to talk to people who have been through it when there was no wrong doing.

It is not a case of returning the children after a few days away having a lovely fun sleep over. It DESTROYS people.

There are some amazing Social Workers doing their best in a totally fucked system, there are some nasty bastards using the system to meet their own personal needs (power, control) then there's a bunch of incompetents in the middle 'following' the system without pause for thought about what's ACTUALLY happening.

It's fucked, big time, and anyone refusing to see that needs to hope they're never caught up in it, because it'll come as a very, very steep learning curve.

Have you contacted the Family Rights Group for support through your difficult time. If not please contact asap for non judgemental advice and support.

I have been caught up in it, Annie, on more than one occasion and I know very well the longterm suffering it causes. I had flashbacks for many years and so did dd.

But at the same time, we can all recite cases where children have died or suffered longterm damage because SWs wanted to give the parents the benefit of doubt.

Would I have wanted dd to be freed from her flashbacks at the expense of another child dying? I'm not sure I would.

Whilst leaving children in place whilst even a cursory investigation is carried out might do harm for a tiny few children.
Sweeping in grabbing kids from there home and placing them in the care system is definitely going to do harm to all children and their families long term

It does come across there are boxes to be ticked and anyone can make a spurious allegation and it is presumed true and it is up to the parent to prove that the allegations are lies. In the meantime your life is picked apart and anything less than perfection and it is jumped on and anything akin to perfection is also jumped on so you cannot win.

Poor OP. I hope you've gotten onto someone today and understand what's going on more and most importantly what you need to do to see about getting your children back. There is a lot of helpful advice on this thread but it is mixed up with lots of other replies! Perhaps if there are things you want to know you should ask again and let us know what you have found out since last posting so people can be as helpful as possible?

What is the point of speculating and backbiting? The fact is that none of us has a bleeding clue what has gone on.
Social Workers don't just swoop in for no reason.
I've had it happen. I know why it happened. No case to answer, so they swooped straight back out, never to be seen or heard from again.
The child has to believed in the first instance because they are the most vulnerable party, yes?
Clarification and co operation are the keys to their return I should think.
The purpose of the thread is to support OP.

I know you have Cory (you'd recognise my old posting name) 💐

The thing is, it doesn't have to be a choice between x happening or y happening.

What needs to happen is a major over haul of the 'system' and the staff. People holding jobs they shouldn't, people doing things outside their remit, people 'following' the 'system' without an ounce of common sense.

There are good Social Workers, just not enough of them & they're battling others & a system that's fucked and they are suffering as much as families.

It can take months to get interviews done, that should be done the next day. It can take months to get the right people involved that should be involved the next day. It's simply not good enough.

but it wasnt ss was it it was the police that turned up and took them

it must have been very severe for that to happen

Annie, people slagging off SS whatever they do is part of the problem though. They're underfunded and understaffed. Would you do the job? I certainly wouldn't. Even more thankless than what I do! (Teacher)

Agree with Annie. If Op is hoping for a speedy recovery, she should be aware that these things take ages.

I don't know what the technical name for them is these days, but the old 'Child Protection Conference' can take weeks to arrange. The child being interviewed can take weeks.

So, Op may well not be even told what the allegation is, until after the children have been interviewed. She may be none-the-wiser this week, or for many weeks to come.

The wheels of the SS bus, move very slowly, so be prepared.

The daughter of a friend of mine is a social worker, and I know from what my friend says, just what a difficult job it is dealing with dysfunctional families like this.
Of course the safety and wellbeing of the child is of paramount importance, but apparently social workers are under enormous pressure to keep the child/children with the parents whenever possible.

Surely the point should be that Social Workers need more training to be able to see the cases needing action, the cases set up by a person with ulterior motives and those who really are being bad to children by choice more than a lack of education or understanding.