social services took my beautiful children

[user1491683745]

it really is not fair to do it to someone who absolutely loves and adores them they really need me and are probably so unhappy i am so done with life and really really want them with me

Can I just say, young people are put into a queue, I know not all children can wait, but the line will never cut off, the call will be answered.

It would be nice if you wouldn't come to your own conclusions about the service NameChnager I've already explained about the lines.

Papafran - You probably didn't get through because a million children were phoning to say they were having a great day

That's a pretty crass thing to say. No, I think I didn't get through because the volunteers were busy helping other children who felt the need to reach out for support.

Name why would you want her speaking to teachers then??

I would always prefer my daughter speaks to people we know first, teachers or friends. It has to be better than an anonymous person on the end of a phone line.

Maybe you prefer your children speak to strangers, I'm not questioning your parenting choices.

Good grief, NameChanger, can you not understand that for some children, Childine is also a place to go to share everyday news because their parents have no time for them. Is that not providing a service, in its own right? And like PPs said, some children may start out with a "pointless" call to test the water first before ringing with their real purpose. But sure. Let's be annoyed that suspicious, anxious children are taking some very careful steps about who they trust first. (Which is exactly what you're arguing for, right? Children to be careful about who they trust?) Meanwhile, Saville?? What on earth does he have to do with the counselors manning the phones at the NSPCC??

I am sorry to say this, but your general attitude towards Childline et al is probably an abuser's dream.

Name can you please answer me? Why are you completely ignoring my information about the calls? I have volunteered there for years before I left.

The Saville case proves that the stranger isn't just the stranger in the park, but also people in positions of authority and those in caring roles and professions

Oh, stop harping on about one extreme example. He was given unauthorised access to vulnerable people, but I would never describe him as being in a caring profession. He was a celebrity, not a police officer or social worker.

*NameChanger: Maybe you prefer your children speak to strangers, I'm not questioning your parenting choices."

If you cannot make the simple distinction between "a total stranger in the street who is untrained and has no place talking to your DC" and "a trained person who is a point of contact for a child (or adult) in distress" (e.g. nurse, doctor, police officer, teacher, counselor) then there is literally no point reasoning with you.

By your very same logic, you would tell your child not to approach a nurse if she was hurt, or a police officer if she was lost, or a teacher who had never taught her before if she needed help at school, because these are all strangers. You see how ridiculous those extremes are?

It actually concerns me slightly the strength of your objection to a child being able to talk to someone you don't know for help.

Childline counsellors have extensive training, references and checks. They are not alone in the room when they take calls , they can be overheard by other staff and sometimes a supervisor.

Call notes are checked by a supervisor and keep securely . Children who call regularly might usually speak to the same person, but that is carefully supervised.

It would be almost impossible for a counsellor to groom or abuse a child through child line .

A referral to social services is a management decision and is very rare. What the boy said must have raise serious concerns. Of course that doesn't mean that it's all or even party true and of course children do make false allegations for various reasons. Sometimes they tell of real abuse but lie about who the perpetrator is.

Nothing about this sad situation indicates that the OP or someome in her family IS or ISNT abusing her child. All it tells us is that her oldest child has said things that are serious.

So could people please stop inferring that it must be true. None of us know enough to judge, perhaps not even the OP as she's not been given the details ( this is perfectly plausible BTW) .

OP I'm sorry for what you are going through and hope you can get legal and practical RL support soon.

NameChanger22,doyou know what it does to a child to teach them not to trust anyone??? it is not good reading, of course if a man or woman offers you sweets and asks you to go somewhere yes then tell your children to be wary of such people, however as someone stated most abuse ect happens within the family, it will more likley be someone you know than a stranger. Please please please do not teach your child not to trust anyone.

Namechanger the Savile case also shows that the 'trusted people' you would rather your child spoke to instead of Childline - teachers, family friends, your own relatives - could all be potential abusers too. And they'd have a damn sight more opportunities than an anonymous person on a telephone advice line.

Hope you've got some answers today, OP. I can't imagine how
nightmarish it must be for you. Try to stay strong for your DC.

You still about OP?

When my daughter was a newborn I remember meeting a friend of a friend who said "It won't be long before your daughter is 14 and phoning childline on you." She said it partly as an (unfunny) joke, and partly because every time she had an argument with her daughter she phoned childline to get back at her about her mum. I guess that has stuck with me and made me think that childline might be one of many things I might have to worry about. This thread hasn't made me think otherwise.

Many people on this thread haven't believed the OP and that there must be something serious going on. We don't know if there is or not.

I think lots of more vulnerable people (single parents etc) live in fear of social services, only because the fear of losing your children is the worst thing imaginable and injustices have occurred many times, especially if you go back a few years.

injustices have occurred many times, especially if you go back a few years

Of course, and to children as well. Where abused children are left at home with their abusers and wind up dead. So yes they make mistakes. But let's be honest it's not the norm is it.its the few cases that end up in the media, not the thousands upon thousands of cases they deal with where they got it right.

Either way all we know is this child has made allegations so serious, has spoken extensively about it and to the level the authorities believe him and feel there is a significant risk to the children if they stay in the house. That's all we know. They listened to him and they felt the need to get in there and get those kids to safety.

The injustices are a tiny percentage of the cases that SS deal with. We don't hear about their successes; and rightly so for the people involved. They are not conspiring to remove children. It just seems they're damned if they do and damned if they don't. If I'd listened to the nonsense that gets posted on here sometimes, I wouldn't have asked for help for my PNA. That could have been very serious.

If this does all turn out to be a horrendous mistake, regardless, there is still a very unhappy boy who felt he needed to say some very drastic things, which is a concern in itself

Well said, lougle

NameChanger22 Sun 09-Apr-17 17:21:50
"I would always prefer my daughter speaks to people we know first, teachers or friends. It has to be better than an anonymous person on the end of a phone line."

Not necessarily. Even apart from the obvious risk that this gives the children no safe refuge if the danger comes from within the family, there is also the fact that many children (and adults) find it easier to open up to people they don't know, to people who don't have a stake in their family and can't possibly be hurt by what they have to say. When my dd developed MH issues, a vital part of her recovery was being able to speak to someone who was not a part of the local community, did not know her family and was not going to be part of her life in any other context. This meant she could speak freely about things she would otherwise have wanted to keep quiet about.

Even with trusted people you can't know for sure that they are trustworthy. Fathers, uncles, brothers can sometimes pose a threat that nobody suspected. Two of ds' teachers have been convicted in court of paedophilia; one, I believe, is still doing time. The best way to keep children safe is not to divide the world into strangers and safe people, but to teach them how to recognise dodgy behaviour and be able to get help.

I don't know the statistics. And I don't know anything about this particular case; but I do know if the mum is telling the truth then it's a mother's worst nightmare come true. If she isn't telling the truth then something much, much worse has happened. I prefer to believe the mother because I want to believe that nothing awful has happened.

NameChanger22,why on earthwould you worry about your childphoning childline unless you have something to hide??? if you have nothing to hide you would not worry about it.

DoctorDonnaNoble, I totally agree with your post, facebook is the same with people spouting shit about socail services coming and taking children for nothing.

So NameChanger, what would you rather your dd did if she felt there was something terrible she couldn't talk to you about, either because she was too embarrassed or because she thought it would hurt you terribly?

Take an overdose like my dd did?

Or talk to a trained person who might then encourage her to take the next step?

corythatwas,is your daughter ok now?

Mucky - don't be ridiculous. I've already explained my reasons. I've know of bullying social workers, all the media coverage of people in positions of power abusing children, children phoning childline every time they have an argument with their parents etc etc. There are sometimes better options in a child's life than childline. It has nothing to do with having something to hide. Do you have a problem with reading?