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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've just done the most ridiculously stupid thing...

170 replies

callmestupid · 07/04/2017 14:02

My husband and I are separated and I've just text him to tell him I'm going on a date tomorrow and I would love nothing more than for him to give me a reason not to go. Of course he hasn't responded so now I feel like a monumental twat.

When is the ground going to open up?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2017 14:53

Just be yourself.... smile and breathe.

FerdinandsRevenge · 08/04/2017 19:50

Oi op what are you up to?! ShockWink

callmestupid · 08/04/2017 20:15

Still on the date. Had dinner, now having a drink. Just gone to the ladies. My husband text to ask if I could FaceTime my son as he was asking for me and I felt really bad saying that I was out. He replied and said ok. I later asked if DS was okay and he replied and said he's fine, sorry, I thought you were out later. I've just text to ask how DS is.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2017 20:20

. How's it going?

hesterton · 08/04/2017 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 08/04/2017 21:33

Yes, deep breaths and take your time. There really is no need to rush in any direction x

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 08/04/2017 22:26

I'm glad you went on the date, for a variety of reasons. Clearly it's not going too badly as you're still with him. He knows the score, so it's all good.

Do Not Have Sex With Him.

It will mess with your head too much. If, in the cold light of day, you decide you want to tomorrow or next week, then go for it, but not tonight. Do yourself a favour here.

Re DH. Do not go on a 'day out' with DS. This is about you two as a couple. It's about your feelings for each other. You HAVE to want each other, it's NOT enough to just want to parent DS together, it's truly not. You need to think about yourselves & each other and see if it's what you both still want.

Be careful though my love, the stage you are at, I'd have probably forgiven my Ex (who cheated on me) if he'd moved her in with us. I just wanted him, us. There are always 'mitigating circumstances'. At the time they seem forgivable and you just want things to 'go back how they were'. Sadly, experience & MN have proven time & time again that that NEVER happens. Occasionally a couple can get past it and be genuinely happy together, but that comes from honestly, and a deep loving and commitment, especially from the one that cheated. They have to accept 100% responsibility. It does NOT matter what led up to it, what you both could have done differently beforehand. HE chose to fuck her instead of talking to you. 100% responsibility for cheating. Nothing less. No matter how much you want to, you cannot brush it under the carpet. It takes a LONG time. In 'real life' I know a few couples who stayed together, but I know they aren't very happy and wouldn't make the same choice again (but feel they can't leave now - whole other story!). Genuinely being able to forgive and rebuild a marriage takes a lot. I tried, I really fucking tried. So much more than I would have, had MN been around in those days! But it tore me apart and he wasn't willing to do what it took really (he very quickly wanted to 'put it to bed'. I lost my shit both over the concept and the wording if that little gem). Eventually we split up.

So really think about whether you can genuinely forgive him or not before you put yourself through the very, very, difficult process of trying to forgive him whilst living every single day thinkng...
(Warning this might be a bit brutal, but you will think about these things. A lot). He chose her. He chose to fuck her. He chose to talk to her. He chose to kiss her. He chose to take her clothes off and make love to her. He chose to talk to her about you and it won't have been complimentary. He chose to lie to you.

I discovered it's totally possible to love someone with your whole being, to want to be with them more than anything, but not be able to live with not knowing when they'd next let you down. It's not the 'sex with someone else' that kills you, it's the not knowing they have your back. Always. Knowing they chose to do something that could destroy you.

Given the things you have said to him, I think the ball IS in your court to say that you weren't ready to talk before, but that you are now. That, you said things in anger that you didn't really mean & you would like to talk to him.

Arrange for someone to have DS & get DH to come through the house. You need privacy for these conversations, not restaurants etc.

Take care 💐

callmestupid · 08/04/2017 23:10

I kissed the date guy. Just on the lips. No tongue or anything. It was nice.

OP posts:
LilaoftheGreenwood · 08/04/2017 23:17

Aw, glad you had a nice time OP!

Gaggleofgirls · 08/04/2017 23:29

I agree with @Mummyoflittledragon too. It actually said neither IMO. We also were in the same situation, he has proven to be an amazing husband and father and that time apart has only strengthened our relationship.

How did it work out? Xx

Gaggleofgirls · 08/04/2017 23:34

Oops scratch that my chat hadn't refreshed so didn't get the full picture 🙈

SparkleSoiree · 08/04/2017 23:34

Sounds like you had a lovely evening Smile

MajesticWhine · 08/04/2017 23:34

I think it's good that you went on the date. I wouldn't send your H a long message. Just a short one to say it would be good to arrange a time to talk. I wouldn't tell him you love him. That could make you feel lousy if he doesn't reciprocate. Tell him you are prepared to try and sort things out through couples therapy, if he is prepared to put the work in. And take it from there.

pieceofpurplesky · 08/04/2017 23:37

DH messaged you because he knew you were on a date.
I am now 3 years post split up. I still love my ex DH despite the fact he cheated on me, was emotionally abusive and told lies so he was the hero. I am not ready to date.
My mistake was letting him know I would do anything for him to come back, he played that well.
Be strong op and let him think about what he has lost - whatever you do will not work - it must come from him!
Fwiw if exh came back now I am strong enough to say no,

callmestupid · 08/04/2017 23:42

DG has sent me a text thanking me for a lovely evening and said I was enchanting and even more beautiful in person.

OP posts:
SunshineAllTheWhile · 08/04/2017 23:54

Smile How are you feeling about it all post-date? Flowers

callmestupid · 08/04/2017 23:59

Confused!

I kind of hope my husband is sitting at home swearing over what I'm up to! But the fact I'm thinking about him means I'm still more concerned about him that the date. But, while I was on the date I wasn't. And the guy is texting me now and I'm waiting for his messages in anticipation. I think it was a pretty good first date. It's just a question of how I feel about my husband.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/04/2017 00:16

I'm glad you had a good night, with a nice guy and that you're enjoying the buzz of nice texts & the anticipation of another one...

Why not just enjoy that tonight & think about DH tomorrow.

callmestupid · 09/04/2017 00:17

Sweating, not swearing.

OP posts:
AliCat36 · 09/04/2017 08:25

None of us on here know your DH so can't say what he's thinking/what he'd do or what you should do. People can only talk from their own experience. If you still love him i think you need to talk to him & decide then if it's worth trying again. If so, take it slowly, you would need time to build up trust & see if it's going to work. As you said in an earlier post, don't let pride get in the way, but equally don't let him walk all over you. Just my opinion op. You have to decide what the best thing is for you.

callmestupid · 09/04/2017 08:47

I feel more confused this morning. And my wine induced headache isn't helping.

OP posts:
StrawberryJelly00 · 09/04/2017 08:54

Always go forward in life not backwards -
Especially if life has treated you poorly in the past

Smile I'm glad you enjoyed the date - the step forwards.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/04/2017 09:08

Have some Brew & food.

Read through the thread again, see what rings true for you.

The fun of a date, the exciting feelings - they're lovely, but they don't last for more than a very little while. This would not be your new reality.

I think you need to start with being honest with yourself. Do you REALLY think you could forgive him, or do you just love him so much that right now you just want him back at any price?

Neither path is easy 💐

LavenderDoll · 09/04/2017 09:08

Just read this and Date Guy sounds lovely.

SummerKelly · 09/04/2017 09:17

Strawberry that's helpful for me! I've found it difficult to differentiate between what I want in an ideal world - a happy family with the father of my child - from what is actually on offer - a difficult relationship with someone who loves himself and alcohol more than us. I've made many excuses for my XP around interpreting his behaviour as a lack of self esteem etc. rather than just accepting he doesn't love me enough. He's been giving me conflicting messages. OP I think a conversation is necessary however painful it might be (been there too Sad) but you do risk compromising what you want and I think you need to be honest with yourself about whether what you want is actually likely to happen in reality or whether you're more likely to find that somewhere else.

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