Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Oh book, that's so annoying. Hope you've got some more definite info on start dates by now. I have a plumber here as we speak trying to find the source of the leak in the bathroom. It's a bad enough leak to be coming through the hall ceiling but finding it's source is tricky it seems. Have a nasty feeling that it might be a tiles-ripped-up job but let's see what he says today. Bet your hair looks nice :)

Drama it sounds like your dc are better trained in the culinary arts than mine! Although to be fair, my 2 eldest ds's do a lot of cooking. Dd just isn't interested (luckily for her that her boyfriend is!) and youngest ds can at least do pasta and eggs etc.

Cake I think I might give Couch to 5k a go. I've had to give up my gym membership so consequently do nothing at all by way of exercise now. How long did it take you to get to 26 mins? daisy your relationshp with your mum sounds so lovely - never had anything like that with mine, although df and I were very close. He died 2 years ago, also in February like Mark - February is fast becoming a month I don't like (except for dd's birthday) :(

Had a great meeting this morning with mumblechum - hope she won't mind me namechecking her. She came over to sort my will. Have done a lot in terms of admin today but have also scared myself by working out that all income (when it finally starts coming in - looking at you, pension/bank people) only just covers all outgoings. Am currently living off savings, which are very meagre and dwindling rapidly. I need to get a job but the problem is that I'm so emotional at the minute - I cry a lot and at anything/everything - I can't imagine being much of an asset to any employer. However, needs must so next week that will be my main focus.

Need to do things like sell Mark's car too but I can't even bring myself to sit in it at the minute - probably the battery is flat by now. How are you doing squirrels with all this stuff that needs sorting? Must try and get an appointment with CAB too. Would much prefer to sit in a cafe with you folks and put the world to rights between us.

Afternoon!
an update on tradesman did ring and it is definitely Monday now. I'm not fussed , just as long as I know!

I have spring cleaned the bedroom now - always good to let off a bit of annoyance !
Juan - hair is tidy - I have very thick, wavy, wiry hair which is kept reasonably short. But I hate having it done - it doesn't look 'me' IYSWIM. Tomorrow, morning after a shower it will be 'me' again. :)
I bet its scary tbh, looking at outgoings/incomings. I am assuming you won't even have had to think of sorting out stuff, but do make sure you have claimed for everything - eg Council Tax reduction- this is where CAB may well beable to help.
re going to work - only do it when you are happy to do so - you are still under a lot of strain, and a new job is one of the most stressful things. But maybe get some sort of CV under construction, to be ready to go.
Thoughts and prayers xx
ooh and a coffee at the virtual coffee house please- better pass on the cake/scone today :)

Just seen a massive magpie in the garden . I am very superstitious about seeing single magpies :(

book I really do admire your energy - you always seem to be on the go. I'm impressed that you're waiting until tomorrow before sorting your hair - I always come home and wash it straight away, hate going to the hairdresser. See it as a necessary evil. Yes, I'll try and polish up my cv. In truth, it's the last thing I feel like doing but perhaps it'll take my mind of things for a while. And I think you've earned some cake after your spring cleaning.

Can you get a friend or one of your DCs to take the car for a short spin?

It's very early days to be thinking about going back to work - agree with getting the CV together for a start.

I love getting my hair cut, but I've known my hairdresser for more than ten years & we get on well & always have a great laugh.

Hi magi - what's happening in Monte Carlo - anything I should know about?

I cancelled the insurance on Mark's car so can't take it anywhere but I could get one of them to start it up couldn't I? Don't want them to get upset either though. I'll ask one of them later.

Haven't been following it at all, Pesky. Only have basic TV.

If I had Eurosport and/or Sky I'd end up watching far too much tennis & DH would watch far too much motor sport. We try not to watch daytime TV now we are retired as have seen too many of our contemporaries (sp?) spending too much time slumped in armchairs!

Wimbledon does not count - it's my treat of the year & am happy to spend 8+ hours a day glued.

Only news is that Serena is preg & was 10 weeks gone when she won the Aus Open!!!

Expect whe'll win Wimbledon & then go off to a delivery suite

I can update on Monte Carlo in that Andy and Stan both lost today, and Rafa has just had a very easy win. Djok is on court now, he's in the same half of the draw as Rafa. The top half is now wide open with both Andy & Stan out.

I am in awe at Serena's energy in early pregnancy. At that stage I was so sick and tired I could barely get off the couch, let alone play tennis.

I agree with magi about not rushing back to work Juan, you've enough on your plate, but starting to polish the CV isn't a bad idea.

Ooh thanks for updates - I'm so completely out of it I had no idea about Serena. Is the dad Patrick? When is she due? Still haven't watched tv/listened to radio/read a paper. Only reason I know about GE is from seeing a thread on here. Who did Rafa beat Drama and who is Djok playimg? Magi I thought you were foregoing Wimbledon this year for PFGD? I only have terrestrial tv too but do pay a sub to TennisTv - which thinking about it I should probably cancel now :(

Father not Patrick - Serena is engaged to someone else - can't remember who.

Think I am going to see PFGD just after Wimbledon now - best of both worlds.

Well I won't join in the tennis chat as I'm not a fan

I'm starting to get stuff done, did very little other than register John's death and contact his bank the first couple of weeks, well and sort the funeral. Then was away last week and Easter etc. Boys back to school yesterday so I've been doing stuff yesterday and today, all very messy but it will all get sorted in the end.

Went through his wardrobe today - got to his wedding suit which upset me. We went and got it the day before the wedding as he'd lost so much weight and was only out of 2 week hospitalisation, intravenous feeding throat stent and 1st chemo the week before our wedding so wasn't in any real shape to be doing anything. Sorted some clothes and then just put most back in his wardrobe.

Not such a nice day here, yesterday was lovely, and it's just started raining.

More sorting tomorrow, and some phone calls needed I think. The letters with death certificate need to start being sent.

Then work ... about which I just don't know. I was thinking I'd say the beginning of May, and then it dawned on me how soon that is, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it yet.

If you are not ready for it, chasing then take your time.

Please, please,pretty please, could you send some of that rain down to me, in East Sussex?

It is so dry here I have spent an hour or more watering established plants today.

It just drizzled for an hour - I think it's heading your way

evening all.
Juan - the hair is not so bad, now I have persuaded him not to put product on :) - it took about 2 years patient explaining that I didn't want any sort of gel or mousse to keep it looking that way....
I am just waiting for Mondays arctic blast - forecast wintry showers here magi
Chasing - sorting is a very sad, but in the end, beneficial thing . Even if all you end up doing is shuffling it all around to somewhere else. MY DM took 6 months before she could sort out DF's clothes ( I should say the familiar, every day ones ) , it takes time to come to terms with it - it's like another goodbye
((hugs)) to all who need one

Juan sorry to hear that things are hard in terms of finances

I started last July and got to week 5 over 10 weeks (very unfit) and then lost my mojo and restarted week 3 in the new year and now up to week 7 which is 25 minutes straight.

Meant to go out again tomorrow night, but not sure if my legs will want to!

Back to the tennis briefly - Rafa beat Alexander Zverev, on Zverev's birthday poor lad. Djok beat a Spanish player whose name escapes me.

Serena is engaged to the co-founder of Reddit, whose name also escapes me. My memory is rubbish these days. Apparently she's due around the end of August and planning to come back next year.

I imagine the sorting of clothes and personal stuff must be so very hard . My aunt died suddenly almost 20 years ago, and my uncle has kept all her clothes and possessions just as she left them. He finds it comforting, so if it helps him that's just fine.

well, an early night for me folks
Juan - hope you get some rest

I'm in awe of Serena, what an amazing athlete she is! She'll probably win a tournament the week after she's given birth.

Talking about clothes, I have 2 fave shirts of DHs hanging up in my wardrobe, which were his faves too. Sadly I had to add a jacket of my DBro's as I lost him last Feb . It's one of the most difficult things isn't it, the practicalities of what to do with things like clothes...

Hope you've all had restful nights xx

Are you seeing / have seen the GP this week about your sleep Juan? Hooe they manage to point you in the right direction.

Luckily I seem to be sleeping just as well as I always have, although I'm tired earlier so going to bed a bit earlier but that's not a problem. I was falling asleep on the sofa the other evening and ds1 told me to go to bed.

It's just occurred to me that my smear test must be coming up to 6 weeks ago so I should hear about that soon. Hopefully it's all okay - the nurse who did it said my cervix looks fine which is a good indication, never had one say anything about my cervix before, other than it being a bugger to find.

Weather seems to have changed, dull and overcast and not so warm.

Name change but I'm sure you'll all figure it out

GP is today Squirrel

Wishing you peace and a helpful empathetic GP

PS While my anxiety was at it's highest, I also kept seeing singular magpies around I was never even aware of the little rhyme before MIL told it to the children a year or so ago

The rise in probate fees is now not going to happen - due to the snap election & no time to get the legislation through parliament. Hope that will be a little help for you, Juan.

Hope all goes well with visit to doctor.

Juan fingers crossed for you at the GP's. One thing I will say from experience is if they crack out the stronger drugs (either benzodiazepines like diazepam and alprazolam or the "Z Drugs" zopiclone, zopidem etc) is to be extra careful with them.

I developed a problem with one after the bereavement, I actually managed to put myself in a coma for 5 days

I'm sure you have more sense then me and your GP will go through it all with you but some seem to dole them out a bit too liberally and an extra cautionary tale doesn't go amiss.

Morning
Hope you got some rest Juan
a bit cold and grey here, but an easy day pottering with lots of little jobs ( you see Juan - I tend to have a hard day , then an easy one :) )
Chasing - glad you didn't sleep on the sofa .
Thoughts and prayers xx
have a good day everyone
magi - good to see the visit/Wimbledon worked out after all :)

You are all lovely people xx

Hi Op (and everyone else), so sorry for your loss and what you have been going through. I haven't read the whole thread but was after some advice. My best friend has just lost her DH and I'm so worried about her. I know she will get through this as she has lots of family and friends to support her but it breaks my heart to see her suffer. They were so in love and had been together for over 20yrs and she is really struggling. How can I help her? Or support her other than be there for her? I'm really at a loss and I know this is a personal thing and she needs to have her own space and grieve and I know my want to help her doesn't override her need to grieve. I love her like a sister and it hurts to think of her in pain but I know that's nothing to what she's going through. I can't believe it's happened and he's no longer with us. So sad for her and all you ladies that go through this, it's so unfair.

Morning all
Just popping in with my coffee before I force myself to do the hoovering.

Hope your Gp is a good un Juan and gives you proper support.

Chasing
I hate smear tests but always go am sure yours will be fine.

But overcast here hoping it will clear up as got washing in the machine

Have a good day everyone.