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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

989 replies

JuanPotatoTwo · 29/03/2017 17:10

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

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19
Chasingsquirrels · 21/04/2017 11:52

After posting about my smear there was a letter in the post - normal but recall soone than usual as due to previous abnormalities I'm on a 3 year rotation. I thought it was 3 years anyway? Just looked at when it was done and is been 7 weeks exactly, which is a lot longer than I usually wait. I can forget about it now though which is good.

Meeting a friend for lunch then more paperwork this afternoon.

Going to go and have a chat with one of the partners at work on Monday, see where that leads.

Hope you are getting through the days Juan.

daisychain01 · 21/04/2017 12:42

Glad the cervix is all sorted, Squirrels Smile x i always heave a sign of relief with all those things out of the way for another year or 2.

Juan i know work feels an insurmountable mountain to climb esp when everything feels raw and out of kilter but you may find once you put out the feelers it can become a helpful thing to have a new routine. Very difficult to begin with because it will be something you are doing post-Mark and that wont feel right but on the positive side I bet he would be so proud of you getting stuck into it. I'd be happy to help if you need to pull together an outline CV in due course. x yes I'm much more for cuppa cake natter not all that toil and rushing about. Even more so whenever I reflect on the brevity that is Life.

Hope all are having nice days. Its cold here Sad

JaneJeffer · 21/04/2017 13:02

Juan my Ddad always said that if you see one magpie there is another close by so not to worry about bad luck!

Hope you're managing to get some sleep these nights x

bookbook · 21/04/2017 16:04

Popping head around the door.
All okay I hope?
xx

JuanPotatoTwo · 21/04/2017 19:37

Hello all, lovely that you all remembered today was doc day. Have a prescription for Zopiclone - 14 tabs like last time. He said if I didn't find them effective we could try something else. Unborn* you poor thing - how did you manage that? It must have been so frightening.

Chasing I'm sure you would have heard something by now if there was a problem - hopefully a case of no news is good news.

daisy I'm sorry to hear about your db. And I note that was in February too :(. I still haven't been able to unpack Mark's hospital bag, it's just sitting on the bedroom floor.

Icant I'm so so sorry to hear about your friend's dh. Her situation sounds very similar to mine - we were married exactly a month shy of 24 years. Why not steer her towards MN for some support, either by starting her own thread or perhaps reading others from people who've been through similar. My first thread after Mark died was so comforting - knowing so many people had us in their thoughts really did help me, and I found it cathartic writing every night about what had happened that day. I still haven't been able to read my own posts back as it's too soon to relive it all but I'm very glad there's a record of it somewhere. And I have reread the posts from others, offering support, advice, love, comfort etc.

It will be 8 weeks on Monday since Mark died and I look back on those first 2/3 weeks and in all honesty remember very little. The friends who helped me most were those who were willing to be there if I wanted them but to not be offended if I didn't. And practical help was good too so people willing to drive me anywhere, to make tea for other visitors, to come with me to solicitors/undertakers/registrars etc, to sound out about funeral plans etc. It's helpful as well sometimes if people, rather than saying, let me know if I can help, say something more definitive. For eg, can I do your ironing, do you want me to go shopping for you etc. Sometimes just trying to think of what people can do is just too much - stupid as that sounds.

So many people want to help at a time like this but that in itself can be quite stressful. So perhaps your friend would appreciate you fielding calls and visitors for her until she feels up to facing people? Also, for me, some days on my own, in bed, spent sobbing, were important. I really didn't want to be made to feel guilty or bad for doing this because I knew it was a coping mechanism for me, and not a sign that I was going to become deeply depressed (although it's still early days - that might still happen!) And really, it's a case of taking not even one day at a time, but one hour or sometimes even one minute at a time. Someone said to me that you always think that you will always feel the way you are feeling right now. But of course you don't.

Please send her my thoughts and sympathies.

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Chasingsquirrels · 21/04/2017 19:49

That's a lovely post to ICant Juan, I've kept tying to think of what to write - but you've summed it up nicely.

Hope the zopiclone work for you. John tried them a couple of times and they just left him feeling utterly jetlagged the next day, well after he woke up which was way past midday. If you get that it might be worth taking early evening rather than bedtime.

JuanPotatoTwo · 21/04/2017 19:51

Oh - done my usual cross posting!

squirrels, glad you got your letter and all is ok. daisy what you say about things post-Mark not feeling right is spot on. I felt guilty the other day putting new bedding on the bed because Mark wouldn't recognise it - silly things like that. And looking for work feels like I'm moving on and leaving him behind - in reality, if he was here, he'd 100% be backing me - whatever I decided to do or not do. Jane I like your dad's thinking!

Going back to Serena for a minute - I was thinking last night (strange the things you think about when you can't sleep!) that she has such a magnificent body and is such an incredible athlete that it would have to be a very confident man who was prepared to get naked in front of her!

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magimedi · 21/04/2017 19:59

it would have to be a very confident man who was prepared to get naked in front of her!

Bet he's got some assets!! Fnar Fnar!

So pleased you have seen your GP - now, please take one of those pills before you go to bed tonight.

JuanPotatoTwo · 21/04/2017 20:03

magi you will corrupt the young and innocent on this thread if you carry on like that! I need to have a look at this man, see what he's got o offer! And I forgot to thank you for the info about the probabte costs too - so thank you.

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UnbornMortificado · 21/04/2017 20:06

Juan Z ones are safer and more widely used. The only issue I had was a metallic taste in my mouth.

But I think the unpleasant taste for a good nights sleep is a decent pay off. I'm completely recovered it was just a bit of a difficult time.

Hope you get a decent nights kip tonight.

magimedi · 21/04/2017 22:20

I am young & innocent........ mwaha ha ha!!

I so hope you have taken the tablet & are having a good sleep - you need it, sweetie.

(((xxx)))

DramaAlpaca · 21/04/2017 22:29

Goodness me, smutty talk Shock

Behave yourself magi! Grin

Juan wishing you a good nights sleep. Talk to you tomorrow x

magimedi · 21/04/2017 22:35

I always behave - I am the soul of propriety.

Halo
DramaAlpaca · 21/04/2017 22:47

Of course you are magi.

Now give that halo of yours a polish Wink

bookbook · 21/04/2017 22:55

Evening
What have I missed? - Grin- do I also need to check out Serena's partner?

Well, may have had a pottering day, but it's flown by , not sure on doing what...
Hope the pill works Juan -and everyone else has a good night too xx

Icantstopeatinglol · 22/04/2017 00:11

Thank you so much juan, it means a lot to get your perspective as I struggle to begin to understand how she's feeling. I think me and her close friends are doing as you've said, I took her to the chapel of rest a few times and helped with flowers etc. It just hurts to know she's in pain but I know that's nothing compared to how she's feeling. Thank you for your advice, I'm trying to find the balance of being there but not in her face too much. She knows I'll be there at the drop of a hat and I'm glad of that. So sorry you're all going through this and I will point her in this direction when I get the chance. Thank you Flowers

bookbook · 22/04/2017 09:03

Morning Juan
have to pop out until lunch, but thoughts and prayers xx

UnbornMortificado · 22/04/2017 13:39

Juan hope you have had a good nights sleep Flowers

JuanPotatoTwo · 22/04/2017 17:44

Hello Aunties. I did get off to sleep sharpish thank you but was awake by 4 and then unable to go back. Still it was the best stretch I've had in a while. Will try again tonight.

I've had an unexpectedly nice day. Dd had decided that I would get on well with her friend's dm so she arranged for us to go out for lunch today. I was a bit nervous but turned out she was an absolutely lovely person, and we lunched over three and a half hours! Am very much hoping we will stay in touch although she does seem to have a much more glamorous lifestyle than I do - she's off to Spain for a month in a couple of weeks. I did get sad and cry when talking about Mark but other than that one episode I've been ok up to now.

Dd has now gone off to her bf's until tomorrow night, and my two eldest ds's are out and about somewhere. It's such a lovely evening here - it makes me miss him dreadfully when the evenings are sunny and long and seemingly full of promise and hope :(. Have a headache now too - off to address the issue with maltesers to see if they help. They usually do ...

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JuanPotatoTwo · 22/04/2017 17:47

Icant you sound like a lovely friend. How old is your friend?

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Chasingsquirrels · 22/04/2017 17:48

Hi Juan glad to hear you got some sleep at least. How lovely of your dd! I had lunch yesterday with a friend who has been fantastic over the last year but who I'd barely seen for years before that. I do need to try and expand my social circle, which isn't something I am very good at - at all.

bookbook · 22/04/2017 17:56

hello Juan - that sounds like it was a great day - you have to enjoy these unexpected pleasures when you can - I suspect it is always going to be balanced by sadness , but only to be expected. Hopefully the nice times will come to outdo the sad times .
Just make sure you are drinking enough - that can give you a headache .
I have had a very bits and pieces day. I am a member of the local Horticultural Society , which has a little gardeners shop . Today was my day at the till :) - Lots of chat on the best way to get rid of moss in grass, is it too late to plant onion sets , people coming in for sweet pea and climbing bean canes. I love it .....
Then I have made a chicken and shallot casserole for Tuesday, when I have everyone for tea , and gardened, ( unsurprisingly :) ). Tonight, crotchet will be the order of the day. May even crack open the easter egg!

bookbook · 22/04/2017 17:57

x post with Chasing - it can be very hard to make new friends. I know I am not good at it ( acquaintances not a problem , but it's not really the same thing is it?)

UnbornMortificado · 22/04/2017 18:01

Pleased you got a decent stretch of kip Flowers

The headache could be off it being your first night on them. I think the jet lagged feeling that Chasing's John experienced is quite common. I've been on MH drugs for that many years I seem to skip the bad effects.

I've managed this pregnancy on just amitripiline so I'm hoping il be stable enough afterwards to just stay on the low dose im on now.

We found out Wednesday that we are having a boy. He spend the entire scan playing with his willy Confused my DC can show me up before they are even born. I'm slightly anxious this is my DH's first child but my fifth. I have two living DD's but I lost two sons at 19 weeks and at a day old at 24 weeks.

I know there's nothing medical about it and it's just been bad luck but my rationality has gone out the window slightly.

UnbornMortificado · 22/04/2017 18:03

Got distracted and posted too soon.

Chasing hope you enjoyed your lunch too. Is getting out and about helping somewhat do you think?