The yuk factor

[Snotmeitsyou]

Not sure if I am in the right forum here but anyway. DP stays with me most weekends as he works away. Been together for 18 years but not lived together - reluctance on my part really.
DP seems to have some mucky behaviours I struggle with. For example, this weekend he uses loo as usual, flushed several times, then uses loo brush to 'help' contents of pan flush away. Loo brush back in holder, covered in poo. I then have to clean brush and holder.
Last week I found poo smears on wall next to loo roll. He must have got his hands dirty wiping arse then used loo roll.
He recently got into car with big poo smear up back of t-shirt. I guess he wiped bum but belt was in way and smeared his shirt.
Using his car I found crispy stuff under driver's seat - he had wiped nose on hand then wiped under seat I guess.
He can't eat a meal without getting food around face or on clothing/floor.
All this makes me feel queasy and affects how I feel about him. He is a good person but thinks I over react. He finds it funny.
Is it me or am I being a bit too fussy here?

I doubt many people would suggest that you're being too sensitive

I hope this isnt real! If it is you have to tell him. Even my 3 yo doesn't smear shit everywhere.

Why are so many people think this is not real? All true but I thought it wasn't a big deal, just me being too precious.

Foul

I can see why you don't live together.
We all have weird habits - but this is showing absolute disrespect for you and your home. Not sure if it's worth it in the long run, as most would find this physically repulsive and unnecessary.

How high up does his arse crack go to manage to get shit on his belt and tshirt?

Obviously we all smell shit on this post not just the OP from her DP

Oh god.

Oh god oh god oh god.

No.

Not the poo troll. You can all stand down

If somebody, let alone someone I was in a relationship with who I wanted to find me attractive, had to point out to me EVEN ONCE that I'd got shit on the wall/my clothes/myself, I'd be utterly mortified.

He doesn't sound bothered at all.

Good god.what did I read

Emanuelle

I stopped a fledgling relationship in it's tracks because of stuff like this OP. I believe you. He was quite posh too but just.....no...sorry. Can't be doing with someone who has never been able to learn from nanny how to wipe his own arse.

Youve been together for 18 years?! Why would you spend 18 years with someone who's basically incapable of wiping their own arse properly?

I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with a man who can't wipe his own arse properly, disgusting.

18 years and only now this behaviour is coming to the surface. Were his hygiene standards/eating habits not obvious until now?? Sorry OP but i couldn't be with someone like this, my DCs can look after themselves better than this (understatement). I'm not surprised you find it disgusting.

Could show him how to fold the loo roll properly? And insist he have a check around the toilet area afterwards to see if any clean up is required.

It sounds grim.

No, you're not being at all precious. Everything you've said is vile, how can you fancy him? Genuinely?

I'm sorry I called poo troll. It's not difficult for him to make an effort to improve his standards and start practicing some basic toilet hygiene. He can also easily begin to start eating in a more civilised way!

It's disrespectful for him to laugh about it and to find your complaints funny. Draw his attention to it until you're blue in the face and make it clear that you won't be coming near him until he improves in the poo area.

That's not too much to ask.

Ewwwwwww, just ewwwwwww

God, this is awful. You are not being oversensitive!
You are being under sensitive!
Urgh!
It'd be a deal breaker for me! And I talk about shit with my boyfriend (he runs and I sometimes do tea cleanses). Because we both know how to clean up after ourselves!
Bless you for sticking with him thus far but no!
No no no no no.
(to take away the poo smell!)
Good luck!

Has he really been doing this for 18 years?

Christ sorry but he'd be my ex before he could blink. he soujnds like an animal. I've never heard of anyone doing this before and never seen it.
How hard it it to wipe your bottom and flush the toilet without being covered in faeces.
I feel physically sick just thinking about it.
I get constipated for a week becasue of the tablets I'm on but have NEVER EVER ended uo in a state like this. There is NO excuse.

I think it's an attitude he'as always had. Today I scraped melted chocolate from snack he's eaten off new sofa. When we first met he lived in a shared house with another guy. There were skid marks in loo and a grey ring round bath, the kitchen floor was crispy underfoot. His mum and dad (pensioners) used to go in and clean for him!
I have pointed these things out to him and he just says sorry 'I didn't notice'.

It was only a small poo smear. Wot's a tea cleanse?

Are you sure it was melted chocolate?

Today I scraped melted chocolate from snack he's eaten off new sofa

Why the fuck are you cleaning up after him?

He's an animal. A 'small poo smear', indeed. This would be a total deal breaker for me - and I'm really easy going, compared to some.