What's the worst thing a DH/DP has ever said to you?

[Norky1975]

Mine include
"Are you doing any ironing this week?"

deepwater71, it's not you, it's him, my ex was exactly the same, even now people say "I just can't believe he's done all this, he was SO NICE". Yeah, they all are . Please get your ducks in a row, I can tell by your post that things are difficult in that way, but contact Women's Aid again and see if you can get a case worker, they will help you escape. It's doesn't matter what anybody believes, it's your and your DC's safety, wellbeing and happiness that count.

It's amazing how many of these men are so disrespectful about women's genitals. This thread has been quite triggering and I keep remembering things that he said that I was embarrassed about or laughed off at the time. He used to make derogatory comments about my genitals in general to people, once to a couple who came for dinner and he'd only met once or twice. He'd claim he was "joking" but it just made me feel really small and embarrassed and I think he got off on it. I am now fully aware that there is nothing at all wrong with my bits, at all, in any way. What a total wanker.

Soscared, yes the all say that...their regrets and what a mistake it all was. My ex, when he left, said he realised he'd made a mistake two years in, I recall my MIL saying to him "so you realised you made a mistake but stayed for 14 years and had a baby" . It's all projection and justification for shitty behaviour and of course makes everything your fault...!

Haha, just reading the first few replies - stbxh will now go back to being referred to as DH thanks to fallenempires suggestion of it standing for Dick Head 😂 very apt.

Some of these are awful.

ExH had had whole load of them but none as bad as these.

• Told me I was really ugly when I smiled.
• No-one actually liked me, they just felt sorry for me as I was the lowest common denominator in any situation.
• Told everyone I was baggy and crap in bed.
• Told me I couldn't cook so wasn't allowed in the kitchen but then never let me forget that I didn't cook.
• Shouted at me on a bus (captive audience) several times with a variety of abuse. My family didn't give a fuck about me, had I been eating shit because my breath stank (it didn't)

I could go on. Obviously I was a cold, callous bitch when I wrote a note and left him one day when he was at work. He would never stop loving me etc etc.

The worst thing my ex actually DID was leave our 5 week old DD in house alone and go to work whilst I was in hospital, just to 'teach me a lesson that I wasn't going to stop him from going to work!!'

About 1.5 hours.
She was luckily & thankfully ok.
Yes I rang Police. Immediately.
He got a Caution for Neglect.

Mine had mummy issues too. Only child of a single mum who worshiped the ground he walked on, and was his nan's golden child. His mum had him young and met a new partner when he was about 10. They both wanted another kid but she decided not to in case a new baby 'upset' my ex. She lied to the police for him, excused his vile and violent behaviour over and over again and he genuinely thought I should support him without asking questions whatever he did because that's what the women in his life did. Even after he broke a guy's jaw it was all 'he didn't mean it/he was provoked' etc etc

That he will kick this baby out of me.

Not to my face as he only hits lasses and DH is twice his size. He wonders why he isn't allowed to see his DD.

He's the only person I've ever (and still) wish dead.

Told me his life would be better off with me dead.

Also said that he'd ended up with 'the bitch from the alcoholic family'

Needless to say we are now mid-divorce.

Snowflake that has left me
I would of hunted the fucker down

Having sex for the first time after first born. " It's like fucking a bucket"

Snowflake What an utter fucking cunt. Excuse my language ladies, sometimes it is wholly appropriate.

How long do you have, its going to be a loooong list
Few examples

• you should have abort your child , now you robbing me from being the first to have one with you

-you are an evil person, fuck you (because he put down the phone in anger and i didn't call back to chase him and "care for his feelings" -you made a mistake and now i have to pick up the pieces ( because i had one child nine years ago with another man, and i never even knew my current p then). You will have to do something about this, because i do a lot to forgive you -i imagine him on top of you and it drives me mad (for my xp who i havent seen in ten years)

• you are a horrible person, you hurt me deeply (because i said that i love my child i currently have as much as i will love the ones we were suppose to have together. Apparently loving your child means you love your x in his head....)

-you dont know how to make decisions so i will make them for you ( i have a steady well payed job, university education, a house,loyal friends, and he can not settle on anything because he thinks that anything that anyone says to him in work environment is personal attack and therefore cause problems) There are so many things he said, this is just a fragment

Reading some of these makes me wonder if any of your are with my waste of space ex!

Current dh-has never said horrible things to me. Thank god. We bicker sometimes but it's more "you're really grumpy today" rather than "you're lucky I don't hit you harder" (thanks ex bf)

These are horrible. I really have to say, I know I contributed up thread about an unkind (compared with a lot here) thing my DH said, he is in fact lovely.
for everybody else.

telling me that wanting to break up with him would hurt him more than me losing my brother in a tragic accident at the age of 24

oh and when we fell out he told me that everytime I was angry with him his ill mother becomes even more sick :(
sad really

Dixie I can identify with the rape thing, I struggle to really even fathom it in my head even now. My ex-h used to do this to me when I was asleep, particularly if I'd had a drink as I sleep very deeply. You know when you wake up and you know. If I confronted him, he'd look all aghast and I'd say "that's rape, don't do that to me again" and he'd minimise or tell me not to be so stupid. He really thought he was entitled to just do that. It was my counsellor who said "you've been raped". I struggle so much with that.

....and onto parental deaths. My mum died quite late at night, I'd nursed her for months but came home that evening because exhausted and had a four year old to deal with. When I got the call I wanted to go straight away and tried to get somebody to come and sit which was difficult late on a Friday night. In my grief and frustration and tears I shouted that nobody would help me...and he chucked my phone right in my face. I never forgave him for that. When his mum contracted cancer, he was working on the South coast, we lived in the home counties and his family in Yorkshire. He pretended that he was driving back and forth to see his mum but was actually using half of those imaginary visits to conduct an affair with somebody he met while on his project. I was beside myself with worry at the stress he was under and the travelling but no, he was just fucking somebody.

Holy shit. These are some of the worst things I've ever read. If someone is going through this now. Read and read and then try and leave. Mine said lots of things mainly about me being a fucking whore constantly for no reason. It took me years to go. but it pails into comparison

These are all just awful. Very uncomfortable reading.

for you all.

My DH is missing a tact gene, but reading these makes me realise that I am relatively lucky.

We are in the process of divorcing for his repeated cheating and we sat down to discuss finances this week. At the end I asked him if the current fling was worth it and he said to me with a smug look on his face "she was totally worth it". Yeah so all that I've done for the many years of marriage means nothing for a girl who gave you some attention. I did have a long cry and rant about it but you know what, he wasn't worth it and I'm not going to show any mercy when it comes to getting a fair settlement.

DH went away for 2 weeks when one of our DC was 6 weeks old. This was not an essential trip.

When he came home I'd been diagnosed with PND and was on antidepressants. He found the pills before I'd had a chance to tell him and turned to me with the box in his hand and said 'fgs can I not go away without you ending up on happy pills?!'

He apologised a long time later but it devastated me and I will never forget it.