Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Welcome to the thread w1968 ( what a great year to be born BTW ) Happy to look at your profile with the understanding that if we're already talking then the rule about not dating the thread doesn't apply ! PM me with your username and the site and I'll take a gander.

Info good luck. Don't be nervous. Just be yourself. And be patient with her !

Runny You can't got wrong with Jamie. He's my go to chef when I want to impress !

That Welcome to you too... All is fair so how you met isn't relevant

RLD

Runny just be prepared for the 30mins to be more like 60, especially if you haven't tried the recipe before!!

'Why do I only date older men?' I have tried date no younger but just find them too immature (though I have met older men that are just as bad). I think because I am looking for someone who doesn't have younger children then I have to go older, if I go the same age as me most have young kids, go younger than they want kids, my kids are getting older and I don't want to go back to those days of having children in tow.

I really don't know what to do now I have seen his photo, do I just back away slowly? He seems like a really nice person I just can't imagine waking up next to that in the mornings.

LM yes you just back away.

In OLD we're always one step away from being ghosted or dropped. Saying the wrong thing, sharing a bad picture, saying something that contradicts their believes etc.

Millions of people on Earth, don't waste your time on someone who is half good.

w1968 (another 1968 vintage here!)

"The problem i think is that I'm independent, blonde, slim - so I think that can be appealing initially - but they ultimately don't want an independent woman who has her own opinions etc!"

Pfft - I have the latter part (the bit they don't want) but not the former, so at least you're a step ahead of me :)

The problem is, the men who think they want strong independent women are often the ones who really don't or who really shouldn't (i.e. they have a mother fetish!). My ex was always of the opinion (and, my, did he have a lot of opinions!) that he liked women with brains - until he worked out that I had a few more than him, then he took delight in shooting me down at every opportunity. I am convinced his behaviour got worse after I completed my OU law degree (with first class honours).

Anyway - welcome. You can always register on the sites as a man and see what the competition does (though you get tips on this from what men write in their profiles!).

Lois Lane is keeping me guessing, prolonging the agony! I sent her the message 2.5hrs ago and she hasn't read it yet. The only time I don't read messages quickly I'd when I see it pop up but I don't actually want to read it or show that I've read it!!

It's not game over until she says so though but I've not felt this eager from a first meeting before so it's kinda tense!

Just putting this out there in case anyone does want to read the full message but for it not to show.

Turn on airplane mode
Read message
Exit whatsapp
Turn airplane mode off again.

No blue ticks.

Or, turn off the things that shows you have read the message - presumably you can turn it on again later :)

I just got a nasty message on POF from someone that has just set up a profile with no photo.

It implied that I was being discussed on the forums as someone who leads men on on and then dumps them. They were quite nasty, I have reported them, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Mr nice (not so nice) as he felt I lead him on, I probably did a little but then I decided he wasn't for me. Starting to really hate POF. 2 messages today, one being from this person and another saying 'hi, I'm your mr perfect' .

Pull the top of the screen down then swipe it back up

I agree with you Outtogetyou, some men like the idea of an intelligent woman but when the reality that I can out-debate them arises they really don't like that! Or that I earn more than them.

But I don't want someone to hoss about - just an equal - who's happy to correct me when I'm wrong too. I have that in (male and male) friends - but sadly not in a partner.

*boss

LM that's awful. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy.

Still nothing from Lois Lane. She read the message about half four but no reply. I'm fairly sure anyone interested would have replied at the time of reading.

No news is good news I suppose but I'm totally sure it's gonna be either no or she just won't reply!

Well I'm about to head off for 5th date with Mr pizza. Meeting at his, Going for a meal. Possible chance of mb ( have not had it yet) All prepped and ready to go! Bit nervous as he seems great all round, feel like a teenager about to.lose virginity again!! Will see how it goes,wish me luck!!

Very best of luck!!!!

InfoSec21, I don't necessarily answer immediately if I'm interested. Sometimes I wait for the right moment (not at work, etc.) to be in the right frame of mind to write my response! It's all about savouring the moment.

God, does that make me sound a bit weird?

No but it gives me a bit of hope!! Thank you.

Today I'm aware of how we all have to go with the flow of the others' way of reacting. Some communicate rapidly, some take their time and somehow we need to step back a little from our way of doing things and forget 'the rules' we've heard over and over again; 'if he/she is interested, he/she'll respond immediately.

If it's meant to be, it'll happen, InfoSec21. (That inane statement is a source of comfort for me from time to time.)

I agree. I've been really busy today with work so didn't reply to any messages until 3. No lunch break here! I have my phone with me and can make calls/text freely but just didn't have the time to focus on messages until then. So if 'LL is anything like that, it could be a good reason.

I was just going from the view of if someone told me they liked me and I liked them, I wouldn't leave them hanging all day wondering if it's a yes or no.

You're right though, patience is key and I'm not displaying any here!! Everyone is different and I can't speak for how she handles things. Will wait and see. Thank you!

lovemusic hope you are ok. That sounds horrible

I've arranged a second date on Friday. He's asked what time he should pick me up. I'm a bit unsure about this. Am I overthinking? I've only met him once and I don't know his surname.

I would too info but I know I would appreciate that, other people think differently or that things are obvious when they're not!

motheroreily not sure but you could always get him to pick you up elsewhere if you don't want to disclose your address yet? Or is it something else?

I've been dropped off near my house by someone I met that night but not outside ITS AIM so it could be numerous houses.

Ooo I could. I live in a block of flats so he wouldn't know which one I live in.

I don't know why I feel uncertain just being in a car with someone I don't know i guess