Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Fingers crossed Bant!!

Ok so here's a question for you clever people. If the person (you met irl) you are sort of seeing says you are the only woman he's interested in and how he really cares for you and wants you and all that crap but he's not really for a relationship and a ldr is difficult is updating his profile on a old site he doesn't know you know about it just means he's not interested in me right?

''but he's not really for a relationship''
I think there is your answer. Ignore everything else he is saying

Sounds like keeping his options open rather than strictly not being interested.

Definite contradiction in there though so I'd not treat him as a serious contender tbh.

Actions speak louder than words cattychatty

I would not be able to keep quiet about this if it was me. Are you going to challenge him about it?

I've ended it so many times and he pulls me back in. Spent all weekend with him last weekend (socially I'm not sleeping with him) ,he had been to a families wedding shows me a photo of him in his new suit, then the same pic is on his pof profile. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days but when I do I'll just tell him I deserve someone who wants to be with me 100% and I am bored with the wishy washy and see how it goes from there. He doesn't know I know about pof I don't want to tell him unless I have to

catty - he's being completely honest with you.

You are, presumably, the only woman he's interested in. He hasn't met the next one yet, but he's looking for her.

He's not ready for a relationship.

Long distance is difficult.

All these are true.

You want something more, you want him to be committed to you. He doesn't want that. The guy isn't doing anything wrong, he's not lying to you. But he's not that into you.

Let him go. Maybe he'll change his mind afterwards, although I wouldn't count on it. But he's not into you right now.

Give up, seriously. You're cyberstalking a man who's told you he's not interested in you.

It sounds like you have him sussed. Have you known him a long time cattychatty?

I know you are rightbant its turning me into someone I'm not.
I've known him about a year lettuce.

Chatty, it does sound like he's looking for someone else and just trying to keep you sweet in case he doesn't find someone, though I may be wrong.

Mr Beard sent me a photo of himself last night without a top on, I don't think it was meant to be sexual (or maybe it was), he doesn't look good with his top off , it's kind of ruined everything.

CattyChatty if you've known him a year, are only "sort of" seeing him, aren't sleeping with him, and he's looking for other people on POF then it's clearly going nowhere. If you want a relationship look for someone else. Maybe he likes you as a friend, which is fine if you want that too.

I'm feeling a bit frustrated, I was contacted by someone yesterday. He lives near me and has shared residence for his child. He didn't reply again after I said that my kids live with me most of the time. I did say that mine are older (they are teens - don't need a babysitter). I got the impression that he has his son at weekends and so I'm wondering if he is primarily looking for someone to see on week nights and has therefore written me off. Dating as parent is hard enough but if parents won't date other parents, surely we are diminishing are chances even more?

LoveMusic Yuck! Is there no way you can fit in a quick coffee date sooner to avoid dragging things out? Why do you only date older men?

Oh that's happened to me Lovemusic ive quite liked men and then they've sent me a 'right now' pic and I've gone straight off them! Frustrating isn't it?

I'm with everyone else catty we all deserve more than crumbs n that's the kind of relationship you have with this man

LM33, better to get that picture now and lose interest than go further down the line where it was only going to fail anyway given what you know now.

Thanks all of you, you are right and this time I won't let him pull me back in. I worry I've made him sound like an arse when he really isn't, he's complicated and I'm a fool!! No more crumbs.

Fingers crossed for you Bant...

Date with Ms Dancer went well last night. There will be a date number two. It's funny, but she's not my normal type. I normally am drawn to people like me, quite extrovert. She was very thoughtful, maybe a little shy at first, and quite studious looking. I had a thoroughly good time, and so did she according to her text. She loved the venue, and the fact that they cooked up a great non alcoholic cocktail for her.

I talked too much. I know I do it, but the extrovert in my comes flowing out sometimes... I found myself mentally kicking myself under the table to make sure I asked lots of questions about her and gave her the chance to talk. Didn't help that she's a psychologist, so god only knows what she thought about me

We'll be meeting up again after Easter, so fingers crossed. I do like the relaxed pace with her though. No pressure to be whatsapping each other, etc...

That's awesome RLD, sounds like it went really well. Is she good for just dates or could you see yourself with her?

I've got my date with Lois Lane today. Getting nervous. I hate meeting people for the first time, could gladly quit OLD just to avoid this part.

Info Good Luck

Good luck info! I always decided in the hours before a date that I was actually perfectly happy being single and why put myself through it. The fear hit me hard.

I seem to be falling again pretty rapidly for my ex (first love from my teenage years) that I reconnected with the other day. Talking constantly and trying to arrange a meet soon to see if the attraction still goes beyond talking. God I hope so. The memory of him is that he was the most open, decent man I ever met and talking to him again doesn't dispel any of that. Waiting for the rose tinted glasses to fall off...

And technically we met again online so can I stay in here?

Thatwater of course hoping for best for you

mostly living vicariously through others at present

hope all dates go well tonight

Hi,
I've been reading for a while. I've been single for a few years, dated someone for a few months last year, but they weren't ready for a relationship.
I had been hoping that I'd meet someone IRL but that hasn't happened, and unlikely to meet someone in my work - I'm Dr.
I've begun OLD but am struggling with a) finding people attractive and b) knowing whether my profile is attracting the right kind of people. I've met up with a few men but they generally seem very desperate, and I'm not attracted to them either physically or their personality.
The problem i think is that I'm independent, blonde, slim - so I think that can be appealing initially - but they ultimately don't want an independent woman who has her own opinions etc!
Any advice? Would anyone be happy to look at my profile (I don't think I've written the same one on any OLD)

info good luck with your date.

Hello w1968 welcome to the best thread. I'll look at your profile but you might get better feedback from one of the men on here.

Date 4 with Mr Gym tonight. The one where I try not to poison him by cooking him dinner at my house. My dating future is in the hands of a Jamie Oliver 30 mins meal.
At least dessert is good if the main meal is a disaster.

Date went well. She's lovely, really lovely. I did my best, I dressed smart, asked lots about her. I think I have a decent account of myself so I did all I can do.

I messaged her to say I'd like to do it again so it's just that wait now to see what she says. I'm happy on my own so if she says no, disappointed but that's okay, what will be will be.

Fingers crossed.

awwwwwwww hope your wishes come true