Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

just sharing and caring ...

Ah well, I'd agree with you about blanket responses dieu but the other day I happened to get four matches on tinder in the space of a couple of hours - ones I don't remember swiping on, but I would have done.

So i sent them all the same generic message, including a joke, and asked for a joke back.

All four replied. Two had jokes, although they were probably too far away (what is it with tinder and distance? My limits are 20 miles, and yet these are 50-70 miles away)

The two closer ones were uninspiring in their responses.

But.. generic messages can work if they're funny.

Yeah, totally. Or unoriginal. I shall have a total wildebeest attack if I get one more 'Hi. Your stunning. What you up to today?' type messages.

The joke one is at least something a wee bit different, and opens up some funny chat (hopefully!).

Good luck with your matches Bant!

Although of course, it would be the closer two who are the boring feckers!

I had what I now realise was a generic message the other day, but it was good enough to make me have a proper look at the profile. When I did though I realised that he hadn't bothered to look at mine because he didn't want to date someone who already has kids & wanted someone to have kids with (I have kids & don't want any more). So I wrote back pointing this out & no response . Still it almost worked...

My initial swiping on Tinder gave me 6 matches. I sent them all a generic "cats or dogs" type message. Some of them I tweaked if they had something I could use on their profile. All but one replied.
I agree with bant that generic messages can work if they're worded well.
I'd love to know if the men sending the boring " hi sexy" messages actually get anywhere.

I got a message last night from a lass I'd checked out a few times but wasn't really keen. As I opened the message that came alongside a view from her of my profile, I thought right girl, you have one shot to show me I was wrong not to contact you.

I opened the message and there it was.

'Hi'

Did I mention that I got Lois Lane's number? Can't remember if I did, but yeah I did get it :)

I have a date tonight with Mr Web!!

Meeting at a local pub at 8pm. We spoke on the phone for 3 hours earlier in the week, and just the right amount of texting/checking in through the week. He's he one with DCs that I thought were on my list of deal breakers until I stumbled in this guy! We shall see, any advice on that would be appreciated from people who have compromised on such things. Mine is from past experience of the difficulties with blending families. Maybe with the right man etc... if nothing else, it is stopping me from becoming OI in the early stages!

Wish me luck!

Good Luck Bleach, be yourself and you'll be just fine. Enjoy :)

Good luck Bleachie

Good luck Bleach

Info its so nice that it is going well with Lois!

I've had the same woman messaging me over the last four days. It's a truly beautiful message, shows the depth of her personality, how she's endlessly fascinating, how she's obviously my soul mate.

The entire conversation goes:

'Hey there :)'

'Hey there :)'

'Hey there :)'

'Hey there :)'

'Hey there :)'

I haven't yet replied, I'm trying to come up with a response that demonstrates how impressed I am.

I'm madly in love with her already, obviously

Pure poetry Bant.

Fucking beautiful that is Bant.

Absolute wordsmith, send her my way please Bant.

Good luck Bleach

And JohnSilver nothing ventured nothing gained -plenty of support here

My eyes are tearing up from the sheer joy of having met The One.

Oh well, Mr Busman just showed his true colours, he spotted I was online on POF and sent me a message saying 'when he gave me his phone number he didn't feel the need to talk to anyone else' I pointed out that 'to see I was online he must have been online too?'. I'm not really in the mood to explain myself to him or anyone so I will just leave it at that.

Still having a wobble about Mr Beard and his life style although he sounds really nice and caring.

Not really feeling like going on a date with anyone at the moment, maybe I'm being too fussy?

Just finished date 7 with Mr Accent. He's really sweet and more flowers. We ended up in the bedroom and he didn't freak when I explained divorce not final yet. Except. We are definitely not compatible in the bedroom. Argh! Thank goodness I had to leave at 9, I don't know what would have happened otherwise. But he's so sweet and I'm really enjoying his company the rest of the time. Got some thinking to do.

Sorry, will catch up on thread when I get home.

Erm. Mr busman expects exclusivity before actually meeting you, but is also on pof himself, and is he the one attempting sexting too?

What a tit.

It's not fussy to not have met someone you want to date. Maybe take a break for a couple of days?

I'm actually chatting to someone interesting and amusing. From POF, no less. And localish.

The tinder conversations all got quite dull in the end. I can't do in depth convo with multiple people, I can only focus on one.

Oh dear Busman giving it that possessive thang, avoid him for real.

He said 'I went on there because you had stopped messaging me, so I guessed you might be on there', I am shocked 😳 what weirdo. He's obviously very insecure, he hadn't even asked me on a date.
Makes me wonder if I will ever find anyone normal.

Just sent a message to someone, took me ages to pluck up the courage, someone very local (a few miles up the road ) which rarely happens. Will wait patiently for a reply, but won't hold my breathe.

Blimey! Mr busman isn't afraid to show his true colours is he?! I've seen someone online before when hoping they wouldn't be due to falling madly in love with me but can't imagine calling them out on it!

I'm still hidden but looking, no newbies anywhere! I've even reactivated my match profile, searched for my criteria (which is a bit specific but only height, age, location) and it found me 9 people!! 9!! Does it hide the good ones until you pay? Cos I'm not going to!

Can I ask for your personal opinion on something re dating that really worries me? Honest answers welcomed. I'm currently under a debt management programme, partly due to bad luck, partly more due to stupidity. I'm a year away from being debt free but will have a shitty credit rating for a couple more years meaning mortgages etc are a no go for now. Not a home owner either. Would this be a deal breaker for you? I live on my own and within my means now but am not exactly loaded, I get by fine though. In my hypocritical mind I'd be bothered about meeting someone in this mess although if I had my shit together I might feel more relaxed about it. Otherwise I'm proud of myself for doing something about it. Also when do you tell someone?? I feel a bit like a prize without them actually winning anything...

Ah. So he's cyberstalking you. Muuuch better

Block and move on. Actually, first point out that
A) he hasn't asked you out yet. And now if he does, you'd say no as he appears to be massively controlling and presumptuous
B) you haven't met him yet. You can decide when you actually meet someone as to whether to stop talking to other people, until then he may be just another weird guy who's making way too many assumptions and trying to sext before you've laid eyes on him
C) he seems to be exactly that.

Then block.