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Original poster

Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 22/03/2017 17:44

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Bant · 29/03/2017 22:42

info

Rules 1 to 4 mate. Early days. This is the equivalent of catching someone's eye at a party. Except you don't know if there's mutual chemistry yet. You don't know if she'll dislike your aftershave, or if you'll dislike her habit of asking you to smell her farts..

It's great to see you enthusiastic :) but don't overinvest

Mumfun · 29/03/2017 22:43

Info ha loving the massive rule break and the fact that guys can do it too

Glad for the dating positives for many tonight

Yes Dieu we do have quality guys in the gang Smile

My irons are fast going downhill . One losing interest. Other ill. No dates this weekend methinks sadly

Mango he isnt still living in family home is he?

MyUser Commiserations Sad

Plentyoffishnets · 29/03/2017 23:15

love it's great you have a few on the go. I have found that like a horse race, one starts pushing to the front and the others fall by the wayside. But until you work out which one is the winner, its worth just carrying on with the chat I reckon?

info definitely play it cool with the surgeon, there's a definite fine line between interest and being over keen too soon

I am super excited about Mr pizza but in a different way to other guys ive been involved with before. We get along so well - just chatted to him for ages on the phone and the time just flew. And no anxiety: maybe this is as we haven't slept together yet as I known that flips.me out. But he is also very constant and reliable in his communication. See I am so badly oi- over romanticising and thinking he's a keeper!

RunnnyMummy · 29/03/2017 23:19

Just back from date 2 with Mr Gym. Lovely evening. Lots of snogging in the car park.Blush
Date 3 arranged for Saturday.

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 29/03/2017 23:24

So, here's an annoying thing. In my pointless attempt at GSM I liked a guy, he liked me back, so I messaged him but he didn't reply. In fact he didn't login again for weeks & when he did he didn't reply.

Anyway, I've just spotted him again on OKC, so I liked him again (a bit cheeky maybe, but he is hot!) and he has viewed my profile twice this evening without liking or messaging. What's that about? I get once, maybe just to check if I'm the same person, but twice??

Anyway. I won't message him again, been there done that. (Did I mention he is hot Grin).

Meantime I have been continuing a chat with Mr Older (the one who is new to OLD), but trying to make sure he is not OI! He clearly hasn't been through the whole disappointing first date thing & I don't want that to be me!!

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 29/03/2017 23:25

Ooh. You can't beat a bit of car park snogging RunnyMummy Grin

pringlecat · 29/03/2017 23:55

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth I had a similar experience. IIRC, we matched on Bumble, he never replied, checked me out on POF and again, did not message me! Tool.

RunnnyMummy Oooh! Glad you had a lovely date with Mr Gym. Look forward to the update on Saturday. Smile

InfoSec21 Good luck with Lois Lane. I hope she turns out to be as perfect as you clearly hope she is!

Bant Agree re humour. Meeting someone who shares the same weird sense of humour is amazing.

Lovemusic33 Ohhh, I love it when they actually bother to read the profile! Best of luck.

MyUsername200 I think we're in a similar position. Went from thinking we'd met the perfect guy to things going cold. I bet Mr Talkative has another iron. Sorry you're feeling low. You will pick yourself up soon, promise.

Mangoandpassionfruit It doesn't sound great, but he could genuinely be having a tough time with his DC at the moment. The question is, do you care enough to hang around and find out?

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth I am convinced he has one other iron on the go. I don't have time to date him right now due to real life blowing up, but he doesn't know that. I'm pondering how long I give him space for before deciding I'm done with him. Because I don't think it's space, I think it's space to date other people and decide if he likes them better.

ThisIsTheRightTime I used to definitely want to get married. Now - I like the idea of the romance of an engagement, but I'm not sure I want to legally give up 50% of my hard earned assets. The older I get, the more cynical and bitter...

JohnLongSilver · 30/03/2017 00:09

Hey, mind if I join?

I'm male, 30. Been single about 2 years now.

I have plenty of apps and accounts, POF, Match, Tinder. I just very rarely use them, too often I feel when I'm lucky enough to get a match, they're out of my league in some way or another. I know I'm not that bad looking, and I'm pretty funny as well as intelligent. I just seem to get in my own way.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 30/03/2017 00:22

I'm playing it super cool with her, just chatting nice and being patient for messages.

It's just in here I'm being a little hyper. In reality I'm very laid back about it. I learned the golden rule very hard in the days of 'Weapons Grade' that it's all complete BS until it happens.

She's an absolute dreamboat but that's all on paper :)

OP posts:
Dieu · 30/03/2017 01:05

I never thought for one minute that you'd be voicing a proposal to her already Wink. It's natural to let go a bit on here.

Lovemusic33 · 30/03/2017 07:52

Stayed up past midnight talking to Mr Beard in whatsapp found out a bit more about him, he seems really nice, we have loads in common including what we do for work, a few things worry me a little, he house shares with a few others so doesn't have his own home, he drives a old banger ( I am a car chick, cars not that important but it kind of tells me a lot about a person ) oh, and he looks a lot different in the photos he sent me last night (older). On the plus side he lives quite close, well less than a hour away which is closer than most.

Mr Busman got a bit carried away last night, after being on his best behaviour for 2 days he slipped and started talking sex, this puts me off, I have done this with other irons and it kind of ruins things and puts pressure in for when we meet, I'm really disappointed as I really like him and I find him very attractive.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 30/03/2017 08:11

Sorry to hear that LM, why oh why do they do keep talking about sex so quickly without at least ever even meeting someone. :-/

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 30/03/2017 08:11

Sorry to hear that LM, why oh why do they do keep talking about sex so quickly without at least ever even meeting someone. :-/

OP posts:
HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 30/03/2017 09:36

Just received a "Hello, how yu doin x"

Seriously - putting the 'o' in you was too much effort? Grin

Dieu · 30/03/2017 11:15

I have an impromptu coffee 'pre date' tomorrow morning. Have been chatting with the guy on POF for a couple of days now. He seems funny and we've clicked.
He has just sent me a message, saying that he's looking forward to seeing if I'm as hot in real life as I am in my photos.
Aye, no pressure then, Mr Shallow Hmm

Bant · 30/03/2017 11:42

I think when people talk about sex before actually meeting, it's just the equivalent of interactive porn, isn't it?

Some people are just looking for wank fodder

Bant · 30/03/2017 11:42

elizabeth just send him this

Dating Thread 115 - come join us!
ShatnersWig · 30/03/2017 11:44

Half Someone once told me that most men on dating sites don't put much effort into messages because for the majority of men, 90% of messages go unanswered and you have to send out a lot before you get a response unless you are incredibly good looking. So they just don't bother making the effort. Don't know how true that is. I certainly won't do a long first message, but I would always ask about something that caught my eye in their profile.

OutToGetYou · 30/03/2017 11:54

Dieu if a guy said that to me I'd cancel. I am not 'hot' (and am most definitely not 'hawt'), I am normal. In the 80% bell curve of completely ordinary, will be attractive to some people and not others, not an outlier.

People who think people are 'hot' have the wrong expectations.

HST - I definitely don't look my age - you know, like everyone!

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 30/03/2017 12:04

Yeah Bant you are right about the 'sext before meeting' crew. If I wanted to provide sex-line services I would do it on a paid-for basis Grin

ShatnersWig I totally get that, but there is economy of effort and then there is not-even-enough-effort-to-spell-you-correctly....

DaringDating · 30/03/2017 12:12

I think when people talk about sex before actually meeting, it's just the equivalent of interactive porn, isn't it?

yh, but where did these idiots come from? I mean we're talking men in their 40s and 50s sometimes. I think you have to intellectually "frighten" men on your profile, advertise your "quality" in a way to minimise these fools contacting you!

Dieu · 30/03/2017 12:30

Out it's a tricky one. I get that a lot. I usually always ignore appearance based opening messages, but this guy didn't start that way. It has put a slight dampener on it, but I am going to go along anyway. He is my 'wildcard', whereas I usually play it safe and only ever meet men I'm certain will be a good fit.
Hope I don't sound bigheaded, by the way. I would definitely class myself as attractive ... maybe even very attractive once I lose 2 stone Grin. Nobody is everyone's cup of tea. I certainly wouldn't be the one for guys who love skinnies.

OutToGetYou · 30/03/2017 12:52

I get a lot of messages saying I look gorgeous, or whatever, I just ignore them.
I get a lot of messages saying they love my profile, e.g. one yesterday:

"Hello there, gorgeous photos, you look stunning. Intruiging profile too x"

"Intriguing"? Didn't read it then, did you? Send that to everyone, don't you?

Another 'send this to everyone': "I like your profile and would definately make sure we have a great time on a date together...:)...we have much in common including passion, fun and romance"

I don't know where he gets the idea I like 'passion' or 'romance', my profile mentions neither. I do like correct spelling however.

So - guys, this is why you're not getting responses if this is what you're doing :)

Dieu · 30/03/2017 13:00

Ha ha ha! Yep, definitely all sounds familiar. Blanket comments like that - particularly ones with no basis whatsoever - should definitely be ignored. As should bad spelling Grin

DaringDating · 30/03/2017 13:03

here's an amusing one ...

had a first date the other day in a quiet pub (nice).

about an hour in, the pub was quite empty, and right next to us was this young couple getting in the mood shall we say!

i kindof had to turn my body slightly to try and cut out this activity to my right! it was a bit Blush. It was a first date and we were both being a little quiet and sensible and we are quite middle aged too, it was quite distracting to have these young hogs at it next to us, a real Woody Allen moment!