Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Aaaah Out that can't be an easy situation for you.

It screams of denial, and a complete inability to cope on one's own.

Yes, that's exactly it, Dieu.

OutToGetYou, is there a light at the end of the tunnel for you in terms of moving out?

Thanks Dieu and TITRT - I put an offer on a house back in Feb, not much movement as far as I can see but hopefully the system is doing what it needs to do. I was optimistic of moving around Easter but that seems unlikely now - mid-May is more likely (annoying!).
Ex is being uncooperative, as in, not speaking to me at all, not telling me what is going on with his new mortgage etc.

However, every pay month I stay in the old house saves me about £700 in costs for living on my own and makes the cost of the move more manageable - the problem is just the being there part. Hence the moving house analogy above!

Hi guys ! Long time lurker , first time poster

2 years single after a 7 year relationship , back in the dating game !

I've been dating this one guy , let's call him Mr Bumble as I met him on that app , since February . We've been seeing each other once a week , busy working during weeks and trying to fit into each other schedules for the weekend .

Had date 5 at my place , still nothing more than kissing ... I feel he's a gentleman ... he texts me everyday , however ...

I don't know .. I always feel I have to initiate to meet up and when I hint about if he's seeing anyone else he makes a joke of it etc ... I love this side of him because it makes me feel comfortable with him and I can laugh easily , it's just when I'm talking about serious stuff he still makes a joke and it pisses me off !

After date 4, I made a comment how it was always me that initiated the first move between us , like kissing or arm around each other and quite possibly had a mini girl meltdown , he just text back and told me to get out of my head and he was still feeling this out too...

I get the impression he obviously likes me ... but I know we can't meet up this weekend as we're both busy .. so is he going to suggest something for the next week ? Argh my head lol

Date lined up with Ms. Dancer on Tuesday so proper happy about that, AND she gave me her phone number. I'm obviously doing something right...

And for a little light relief for everyone, check out this Mash article...

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/internet-daters-to-get-basic-normality-guidelines-20161003114695

Best line from it “We don’t know why our users are such arseholes. They may think it’s a game and they’re basically collecting Pokemon they can shag.”

RLD.

Thanks for that RLD - I love The Mash anyway, but that's spot on.

Well if he's pissing you off and unable to have a semi-serious conversation after five dates, and over a month, maybe he's not right for you.

It's easy enough to find someone to date, but finding someone who is on the same wavelength as you, that's he tough bit.

And then if you do find that, it feels right. No angst, no major concerns.

That's not to say relationships are a breeze, but the beginning of them should feel easy and right, not anxiety inducing.

Ha! Like it RLD!

Great link RLD! Good luck on Tuesday. Remember the loo update

Nice one for the date RLD, everything crossed for you :)

Nothing from Lois Lane today but she's never been online and I don't imagine surgeons being on their phones at all through a day. Will be interesting to see if she replies tonight, really hope she does.

Brilliant RLD!

All the men on here seem a great catch!

Thanks for the link Rock very funny and accurate.

Info hope Lois Lane gets in touch soon

Welcome modern Dating just seems so complicated these days. I hope you manage to work it out between you.

Help = Teach me to flirt before tomorrow afternoon.

I have been single for more years than I can remember - convinced myself I am happy on my own (I am mostly) and after dabbling in OLD decided that it wasn't for me.

Well - I have been looking around for a builder to do some work on my house, just been to the showrooms and he is coming round tomorrow afternoon. He is VERY nice ! and according to his social media he is single,
We had a lovely chat in the showroom about him going out for a drink on the way home, what he does with his life and his plans for the future, so unless he is the kind of salesman who grooms people into using his firm I just got the idea that he might like me too (unless I am completely deluded)

Its the first time in ages that I want to make a bit of an effort - what to wear tomorrow!!

And how to I try to see if he is interested.... and no I am not 16 :)

Flirting is easy ceecee, it's something I do without realising it (or so I'm told), just laugh at their jokes, smile a lot and pay them a few complements. I had someone come to the house a few months ago to check my metre and to recommend new energy suppliers, we got talking and ended up talking for ages about our children, his love for horses and the fact he was single, I am gutted that I didn't get his phone number or even his name, I wasn't single at the time but he was my type, I keep hoping he will come back one day so I can make a move , well I can dream.

Will catch up properly when I'm home and can reply on the laptop.

The more time that passes since my lovely non-date that was actually a proper date in the end with Beardy, the more I think of Bant's amazing extended date that went nowhere and think that's what's coming.

I am the prize. If he doesn't recognise that enough to ditch all other irons and fight for me, maybe we're destined to be friends only after all. But I am supporting a friend through a divorce at the moment, so I'm feeling a bit anti-love right now.

pringlecat Yes! You are the prize! Of course he should ditch the others.

I know what you mean pringlecat. I cling in a very determined way to the positive image of my sisters, parents and a few very good friends who have been married/together for years. Although I'm relishing (most of the time) my new life post separation, I am quietly a lot more cynical about marriage than before.

Hi everyone, occasional poster on the threads. Have been dating Mr M since early Feb, met on POF, initially he was very full on, well we both were but dates were really tricky to organise due in the main to his commitments with dcs and work patterns. Despite all this we have had 5 dates. he has cancelled several but to be fair, due to dcs or the M6 being closed 🙄🤣or work issues. I did post on another thread asking really whether he was just emotionally unavailable. He's adamant he wants something long term, it all just seems to be very slow. So this week we had date 5 he was away on business, I met him and we dtd first time. Totally, totally lovely and caring, had dinner, lots of teasing and laughing and spent the night together. He was coming to stay with me the next night until mid morning when he text to say his youngest was unwell ( I did know this ) and things were kicking off at home. Obviously I told him he should go straight home but I was gutted as I felt it was another cancellation and I felt vulnerable after dtd. And I pretty much did the you haven't got time for me etc. He asked if I was dating goodbye and on reflection I said no. To be fair to him he reached out and said he really needed some help with the dcs as he was struggling. So I gave him a bit of advice. He naesagef this morning to say he was completely wrung out physically and mentally with dc but hoped I was ok. I just text back and said I was here if he wanted me and sent a hug. I know he's really busy tonight but heard nothing since. I don't know whether to text and just be supportive or just give him space. Just don't know whether this is just too much drama, whether he's not into me or whether I'm overthinking. Would massively appreciate advice. So sorry so long.

Not great news about MrTalkative. He's cancelled Saturday's date saying he's not sure how he feels now.
He did say tonight he's out with a friend drinking and I've had a drunken text and four missed calls. Not sure what's got into him (apart from alcohol) but have not replied. Feeling a little low but I'll be fine, at least I found out now. I hate how it's all gone a bit weird so quickly, he seemed keen yesterday.

Mango it sounds like hard work and I would feel vulnerable too in your position. But I think you just need to give him space for a few days and then send a message at the weekend to ask how everything's going. Maybe he's trying to keep his kids and dating completely separate.
Obviously there's a chance that it's the end but give him a few days grace first. Don't send lots of messages!
I watched Cinderella today: remember above all, self-control. You're the prize.

Just saw a really nice tall, bearded, tattooed man on POF, was looking at his profile trying to pluck up the courage to send a message, chickened out then I see I have a message, its from him and it doesn't say 'hi' or 'hi sexy', he actually read my profile, asked me about my job and asked me what bands I have seen. I'm OI already .

Also feeling good about Mr Busman, been chatting most of the evening but still no date to meet him. He seems really nice but trying not to get too carried away.

I ventured back onto OD, and seem to have five conversations going simultaneously.

Two are monosyllabic, maybe they'll improve.

Two are probably too far away.

One.. well one is seemingly clever and attractive and within a half hour drive. And funny. That's my Achilles heel.

We all say we want attractive and funny, but I like someone with an acute sense of the absurd. (And attractive and a multimillionaire)

Lois Lane replied. She thinks I look 'uber cool'.

I'm not OI but I'd marry her today tbh.

Bant I'm struggling talking to 3 tonight, 2 are very chatty and I'm trying to rember what I have said to who, it's all very confusing. I usually get too overwhelmed when this happens and I end up leaving POF.

Mr Beard has already asked if I would like to meet next week.