Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 22/03/2017 17:44

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 26/03/2017 10:59

Dieu I've just removed POF from my phone for those reasons. I'm finding tinder and bumble much better pickings, even in my rural area.

RunnnyMummy · 26/03/2017 13:22

dieu I'm finding the same. Maybe I'm just too fussy after a few bad dates. I usually hide my profile for a few days then try again.

Elizabeth I feel your pain with the snoring. I spent most of my married life sleeping in the spare room. That would be a deal breaker for me. Think you need to speak to him about it.

Pringle good to hear beardy got in touch. Hope you can both work something out

I'm just back from my lunch date with the story teller. Nice time but a bit awkward. Not sure if that was because we haven't exchanged lots of messages and didn't know much about each other. Except that we both like writing.
I'd meet him again to see if a second time is any better. But he's on the limit of distance for me so I'm going to say no to any offer of a second date. I think he's probably thinking the same.

Soopermum1 · 26/03/2017 14:30

Hi all. Back to this thread after an initial 'hello' a couple of weeks ago. I'll start with my wish list

Must live really close. I don't drive.

Full head of hair. I know I need to get over this discrimination against baldy guys but sticking with the hair love for now.

Funny and outgoing. Had enough of being with hermits.

A little bit chubby, to make me feel better for being a rather curvy gal myself

Clean shaven

37 to 47

Left leaning politics. Knowledgable and interested in the world. Experience has taught me this doesn't necessarily mean having a degree

Kind and compassionate, good with kids

Likes cats

Independent. Not putting pressure on me, has lots to keep him busy when not with me

Have a job, earning at least the same as me

I realise that some of that makes me sound a bit shallow Wink

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 26/03/2017 14:41

Oh the snoring, I feel the pain there! I hadn't even thought of that for my list! Shock

Plentyoffishnets · 26/03/2017 14:55

I think my wish list would be:

Ideally they would have children -mine are late primary age so kind of half way there so wouldn't mind if there's were older or younger

No further than an hour away and I guess ideally not too tied to where they live as if things progressed in the relationship and we wanted to live together I would not want to uproot my children from where we live and so need to be here for another 10 years at least.

Intelligent and good conversationalist on a wide range of topics.

They would be reasonably sociable. Not looking for a party animal but someone with some interests and who would be able to cope at a family gathering

Someone who respects my boundaries and independence. Don't want Clingy!

Good compatability in bed. Would be great if they enjoy oral!!! Blush

Someone liberal in their values and with an internationalist perspective.

Someone who is not afraid to talk about their feelings but who does not rush into this.

Surely the above is not too much to ask?!

rememberthetime · 26/03/2017 15:11

Well - loads to catch up on!

Firstly, my list:(and compared with Mr Overseas)

Intelligent and a good writer/thinker (absolutely yes!)
Feminist (yes - one of our first conversations was about male privilege)
Solvent (yes - own business)
Emotionally sorted (not quite - still working through his marriage breakup)
Open and honest (yes - without a doubt)
Family values (yes, has children - but they are young which is a negative)
Not jealous (quite the opposite)
Not controlling (not even a hint of this)
Consistent and reliable (yes - daily contact for 2 months)
Sexy and exciting (yes to this - even just over the phone!)

So overall - I have found someone who meets my list, except his marriage which still needs to be sorted out. he is working on it though.

I am starting to think about finding a male friend or two to hang out with while mr Overseas is well...overseas. What do you think about this. Is it possible to have make friends without feelings developing? I don't mind a bit of flirting or mild banter - but nothing physical.

Mr Overseas is absolutely on board with this idea.

rememberthetime · 26/03/2017 15:12

oops - sad face was a mistake!

Doc1308 · 26/03/2017 15:20

Absolutely you can make friends with men..not all after our hole..well most are but I find coffee leaves a better taste in mouth 😆

Soopermum1 · 26/03/2017 15:42

Is anyone having trouble logging into Tinder at the moment? I have messages in there and can't log on Angry

RunnnyMummy · 26/03/2017 16:03

I can't get on Tinder either. It does this regularly.

Allthembuckets · 26/03/2017 16:09

pringlecat Nothing from Mr Golf. I have to leave the house early on Thursday so might be for the best anyway!

Messaging with Mr Xbox, have swapped gamertags but he works a lot so not sure.

I'm finding the same thing with POF Dieu nothing sure if I'm being too picky but I don't have lots of free time for dates atm. And childcare can be tricky but I'm quite lucky in that regard. I'm off most of the Easter school holidays (hoping I won't have to work much) so maybe then.

Allthembuckets · 26/03/2017 16:10

*not

Ciaovenora · 26/03/2017 16:27

Absolutely you can make friends with men..not all after our hole..well most are but I find coffee leaves a better taste in mouth

My, you're quite the catch aren't you are you sure you're on the right website.

Doc1308 · 26/03/2017 16:29

I think so

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 26/03/2017 16:40

pringlecat - he's a bit overweight. Doesn't bother me at all in an appearance/sexiness way, but this does seem to be an issue for snoring.

We've been seeing each other a few weeks - in a FWB sort of way, not sure whether it will last much longer anyway. Sad

user1490465531 · 26/03/2017 17:39

anyone used e-harmony or is match better. looking to use paid website as finding pof dire.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 26/03/2017 17:49

Half he sounds like my ex Grin his name doesn't begin with J does it???

Pavonia · 26/03/2017 18:50

user1490465531 I did try out eHarmony briefly. The major problem that I had with it was that you couldn't tell whether your matches were paid up members or not, or whether you were wasting your time. Ultimately though I just decided that the time wasn't right for me. I would be interested to hear about other peoples' experiences of eHarmony and Match, as I may try again. I have hidden my profiles on Tinder and Bumble to take a break there.

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 26/03/2017 18:52

OnceMoreIntotheBleach - no not J thanks goodness! (I wonder if anyone on this thread has dated someone else on the thread's ex Grin)

Bant · 26/03/2017 18:57

I probably haven't :)

HalfInLoveWithElizabeth · 26/03/2017 19:02

Seems a reasonably safe bet Bant Grin

Lovemusic33 · 26/03/2017 19:05

I decided not meet up with Mr Nice, instead I spent my day on my own with my camera at a nature reserve (even not to cafe and ate cake alone), I seem to be doing this more and more a I kind of like it Grin.

Haven't heard from Mr MOD for almost 2 days, been going over in my head the best way to tell him to get lost when he does reapear, he has been online quite a few times and has not bothered to message me.

Going to log on to POF now and see if Mr 5k has messaged, I might let him have my phone number so I can whatsapp him as I hate messeging on POF.

Lovemusic33 · 26/03/2017 19:13

Hmmmm, not sure it was a good idea to log onto POF, a old iron has found me, I met up with him a could of times 2 years ago, I had a feeling he was married as he kept vanishing, his profile said that he had no children but when I met up with him he had car seats in his car which he told me were not his. So now he has a new profile, it says he has recently split up with his wife and has two children aged 2 and 3. Meaning that when he was seeing me his wife was possibly pregnant or had just given birth Sad. Now he's contacted me asking how I am, does he think I won't notice what his profile says and the fact that he lied to me and messed with my head?

Plentyoffishnets · 26/03/2017 19:18

Love,I reckon a really honest message to Mr Mod about how it just isn't working for you is the only way forward to end the uncertainty. However, I reckon that will prompt him to step things up again for a while. I guess it depends how much you want to move on from him or keep things going as they are?

Doc1308 · 26/03/2017 19:48

Apology...I have been made aware that my profile showed me as female..I honestly had no idea and changed as soon as I did..sorry x I've left toilet seat up to prove my sex! Not really prefer sitting anyway Smile