What is your opinion of my husband from this one example

[spaghettigirl]

Yesterday evening, I was tidying the kitchen and lifted up a bottle of wine he had opened to clean the surface. Unfortunately, the whole thing slipped through my hand, it smashed and it went all over me and the floor.

I can't quite shake off that he went out of the room to sit down on the sofa while I cleared it up by myself.

It was a silly accident but if it was him I would have helped him.

Obviously there are many more dickish things he has done but I felt so unvalued and unloved at this point.

If he hadn't have helped, I'd have felt upset.

If it had been the other way around, I'd have helped. To lessen him feeling bad.

But ... not all men do that. It's a bit of a lonely life if you're with one that doesn't.

Selfish and uncaring.

"Perhaps he was ticked off and wanted to keep his distance instead of loosing his temper.". And this would have been OK behaviour for an adult?

My Dh drops and smashes so much stuff that now, when it happens, I'm afraid I walk away and let him sort it out.

It gives me the rage that he's so clumsy.....

I would have done what your husband did, I would have been concentrating on trying not to yell or cry. That's the truth.

Yes it would Bertrand.

Id be gutted if you dropped my wine I was drinking and expect you to go buy some more tbh

We'd have had a conversation "Oh shit! Need help?" "No, I'm fine I've got it."

If he or I just walked off without offering to help or sympathising that would be weird.

I'm not sure to be honest. I can be clumsy but whenever I drop something my husband jumps up and says leave it blunt I'll get it. I don't leave it but we clean it up together and he always mutters " watch you don't cut yourself" . He helps pick it up and gets the hoover out. If he drops something, I help him.

Bizzarely I dropped a wine glass I was putting away last week, I was clearing it up as he came in and I'd cut myself, so finger was bleeding heavily as he walked in so he may have a point on the cutting myself. 😂

I think it's common courtesy really to help someone. So I'd think he lacked common courtesy.

I think it's a complete non incident.

If dh dropped a bottle of wine I might stay and help clear up if I was closer to dustpan/ cloth. If he was closer I'd leave him to it rather than shuffle around a load of broken glass and get in the way.

When I smash anything glass I always shout "Everyone stay where you are! please just reach me the dustpan and brush and don't come in here without shoes on!"

DH would shoo me away and deal with it. My job in these situations is to hold the dustpan. I drop a lot of stuff and the floor is slate, so...
Then he'd go to Tesco and replace it, ignoring my attempt to go myself. And buy me chocolate.

I'd think he was lazy and thoughtless.

I really feel for so many MNetters married to such horrible men.

Me too imperial
Either way round partners help each other

I suspect that some kindness has gone from the relationship but I suspect you are both harbouring resentments..him along the lines of "she did it deliberately" .I think it depends on the relationship how this event is interpreted by both of you.If you go back to early romance days I guess both your responses would have been different.

If it had been a man who did this I suspect people would think he was being passive aggressive and it was deliberate.

Sometimes I think some marriages get to the point where you look at your partner and think there's no pointing in talking about things.

Hope you offered to replace it!!

You broke it you clean it up.
Some of the answers here are hysterical.

When i break something i send everybody out of the room - don't want people to get cut.

It's easily a one person job so unless you were holding a baby or similar then there really wasn't much point him staying.

Having said that, I'd help or try to help if anyone broke something and if he'd broken my last bottle of wine I'd make him go out and get me another one whilst i cleaned up!

Taylor22, wouldn't you offer to help your partner?

"Yes it would Bertrand."

No it wouldn't. Grown ups don't lose their tempers when someone has an accident.

why would you need help though??
Seriously, you drop something, you clean it up, why on earth would you need someone holding your hand through the process??
You're a grown up aren't you?
MN is bizarre sometimes

Depends on the size of your kitchen too. In ours we would just get in each other's way. DH would probably take the used kitchen roll for me though, I don't think he would just vanish.