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Original poster

Slept with someone last night and regret it

254 replies

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 06:56

I'm single and 13 weeks pregnant I work in a pub and have been chatting to one of the regulars for a few weeks. Anyway to cut a long story short after work last night he came back to mine and we ended up sleeping together. When I've woken up this morning he has gone. I text him and haven't had a reply yet. So I'm guessing he was just after one thing and now he has had it he's not interested.

Now I just think I'm stupid for thinking it was anything more serious and totally regret it

OP posts:
gamerchick · 18/03/2017 11:28

Well as long as condoms were used. You need to be extra careful when pregnant when sleeping with new people. I do admire you, it's the last think I felt like doing early pregnancy.

If he gets in touch you probably should tell him though so he knows the score.

DevelopingDetritus · 18/03/2017 11:34

I think I'll have to agree to disagree on it.

Deadsouls · 18/03/2017 11:37

Please have some compassion for yourself OP. You did something, made a mistake, made an error of judgement, however you understand it, and that was it. It will feel a bit shit I guess for a little while. But you can move on from this, just maybe take a lesson from it. As in I guess there will be some men (and women), who just wants a ONS. If you are not someone who can deal with the feelings are then maybe casual sex isn't for you.
Agree with others, hope you used contraception.

Deadsouls · 18/03/2017 11:37

I mean not contraception, protection

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 11:37

How many men would want to be involved, in a relationship with, someone who is already pregnant with someone else's child?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be with a man who had a pregnant ex girlfriend who was 3 months pregnant. massive alarm bells would be ringing for me.

DevelopingDetritus · 18/03/2017 11:38

If she gets a nice text when he wakes, and he's hoping for more I guarantee he will feel betrayed and lied to when she tells him she's already pregnant and I'll almost put my life on it going nowhere. Oh boo bloody hoo. I'm leaving this thread now it's driving me a bit potty and going around in circles.
Good luck with your baby OP. Flowers

Bluntness100 · 18/03/2017 11:40

Hey op, how are you doing, did you hear from him?

GatoradeMeBitch · 18/03/2017 11:49

Because the OP, by her own admission, hoped for something more from him?

It doesn't mean she's turned into nothing more than a baby incubator. She's a human being with a personality, and men have and will continue to fall in love with single women who happen to be pregnant. It's not a scenario with no precedent.

(It's incredibly unlikely in this case though, OP.)

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 11:52

Gator. But surely it's dishonest not to be up front about the pregnancy if you are wanting a relationship?

I'm trying to imagine DS who is 22 dating a girl for a couple of months and then she tells him she's pregnant with someone else's child. He would be gutted and I would be advising him to step back until everything was more sorted (no saying he would do that of course it would be up to him but it is unusual for relationships to start when the woman is already pregnant to someone else)

Or him going to the bar she works in and seeing she's pregnant and everyone thinking it's a great jolly jape to make him think the baby is his.

bloodyfuming9 · 18/03/2017 11:53

I'm just wondering if he saw any evidence around your place that your pregnant? scan, scan letter apptment letter etc?

I have to say, I think Annsmyth has made lots of valid points.

It's going to be awkward seeing this guy when op goes into work... I hope the guy isn't a bragger....

AnyFucker · 18/03/2017 11:54

Anne there is a particularly nasty edge of disgust in your tone about pregnant women who have sex

You are not half banging on about it. Can't you lay off, I think op has got your point.

AnyFucker · 18/03/2017 11:56

MissJC that was a lovely kind post

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 12:01

I am not disgusted that the op is pregnant and had sex af.

This girl took someone home and shagged them. That's it at this point.

The man is not a bastard. He chatted up a barmaid went back to hers and they shagged.

If the op wanted, as she says, more than a ons, then I do think, morally, she had an obligation to let the bloke know she is already pregnant with someone else's child before he got emotionally invested in a relationship.

I don't view it as that different to a married man forgetting to tell someone he's married. It's a pretty important thing to hide. And I am pretty disgusted at that. I don't think that was fair. It's a really really important thing to conceal.

BusterGonad · 18/03/2017 12:02

I agree MrsJC that was a lovely post.

aurynne · 18/03/2017 12:03

I may be weird, but the only reason I would want a ONS to stay till morning is for the chance of another quicky before leaving. I will leave notes and breakfast for longer relationships, but that's just me.

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 12:04

If she had a ONS and was married, would that be ok? It's the same thing - she is encouraging wants more from a man a relationship, and yet she has concealed something fundamental in her life that I think you should be honest about.

Before I dated anyone they knew I had kids. I never hid it. They knew I was divorced. If I'd found that a bloke I was dating and had emotionally connected with had a pregnant ex who was only 12 or 13 weeks I would dump them.

If I had omitted to tell someone I had kids, and they found out I had them they would be perfectly entitled to not carry on - on the grounds that I had lied. This isn't any different.

But on that note, I'll hide the thread.

Op I hope you get whatever you want in life and you and your baby are happy going forward whatever happens.

SleepingTiger · 18/03/2017 12:04

I am not disgusted that the op is pregnant and had sex af.

I thought you called her 'dickish' and a 'bastard'?

AnyFucker · 18/03/2017 12:04

It's written all over your (repeated) posts, Anne. And your concern for your sons getting trapped into having sex with these mythical pregnant girls is jarring.

If that's not what you meant, you might want to consider your tone and phraseology.

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 12:06

Sleeping that was quoting someone else back at them. I have already apologised twice for that and I shall do so again.

The op lied about having a child. Not born yet, but a child. Imagine the post from a woman if she said "my boyfriend just told me his ex is 12 weeks pregnant"

And now, I am leaving the thread. Good luck whatever happens op.

Bluntness100 · 18/03/2017 12:11

The man is not a bastard. He chatted up a barmaid went back to hers and they shagged.

DixieNormas · 18/03/2017 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TedEriksen · 18/03/2017 12:20

I'm struggling to see what he's supposed to have done to justify the 'bastard' comments, but it's a shame the OP feels bad about it. Not sure her being pregnant has much bearing on it.

Chloe84 · 18/03/2017 12:22

She didn't lie anne

A pregnant woman has just as much right as a non-pregnant one to get to know a man before disclosing personal info about herself (especially to a man who is familiar with her workplace and could therefore tell them she is pregnant befor she is ready).

samanthajayne17 · 18/03/2017 12:25

So your 3 months pregnant by a man who is no longer around and you low pick up another bloke who you only chat to at work and you expect him to have a full blown relationship just like that? You car expect respect from a man if you can't even respect yourself. You took him back for sex so it gives him the green light for him to get why he wants and leave. Why not ask him pit for a drink, coffee or something like that to get to know him first and see whether he is worthy of relationship. Was our pregnancy the result of a one night stand? I also don't think you can expect him to play happy families with a kid that's not his. I can't believe people on here think it's on for a woman to sleep with a stranger when she's pregnant putting her baby at risk. I bet if that man knew she was pregnant with another mans child he would never have slept with her. Maybe he found out somehow and that's why he left? You can't Blame him really, you lied to him about being Pregnant. And how do you know he's not married? Had kids? That's probably why you have no response because that's all he wanted out of you. But if you offer it on a plate then your putting yourself up for being used. Anne is right aswell. I don't know why people are sugar coating this

TheNaze73 · 18/03/2017 12:29

I don't get why you'd want a ons to stay???