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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Slept with someone last night and regret it

254 replies

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 06:56

I'm single and 13 weeks pregnant I work in a pub and have been chatting to one of the regulars for a few weeks. Anyway to cut a long story short after work last night he came back to mine and we ended up sleeping together. When I've woken up this morning he has gone. I text him and haven't had a reply yet. So I'm guessing he was just after one thing and now he has had it he's not interested.

Now I just think I'm stupid for thinking it was anything more serious and totally regret it

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 18/03/2017 08:19

He's probably stIll asleep. I don't agree with people calling him a bastard, you had casual sex which is fine but not everyone wants more.

sleepthiefsmum · 18/03/2017 08:19

It's 8:15am, he went to yours after drinking last night, left at some point whilst you were sleeping and hasn't replied to a text you sent at 6am ish! I'm pretty sure he'll be sleeping!
He's actually done absolutely nothing wrong.

If you don't hear from him by teatime come back then I'll slate him with you Hmm

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:19

Buster - yeah I don't think it will do any good to tell my mum if I'm honest

OP posts:
DevelopingDetritus · 18/03/2017 08:20

Neither did I think there was any cause for the harshness towards this man. seriously, you think him just walking out without so much as a by your leave. Confused

diddl · 18/03/2017 08:21

So you've just chatted in the pub whilst you were working, not arranged to go out on a date or anything?

Then you took him back to yours last night?

Maybe he thought that you were only after a ons?

DevelopingDetritus · 18/03/2017 08:21

*was a shitty thing to do in anyone's book, obviously not in your book though.

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 08:23

I wouldn't have a problem with him getting up and going home at all.
I did the same when a previous boyfriend and I were first dating - I can't sleep in seeming else's house well so I would get up and go home and sleep til lunchtime. And try not to wake the boyfriend because he was asleep and I was trying to be considerate.

It doesn't necessarily mean any more than that at this point.

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:23

Tiger that is a cruel suggestion but I do like it haha like your style

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 18/03/2017 08:23

Even if it's a one night stand, a gentleman stays and talks to you afterwards and treats you like a person rather than a doll.

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 08:24

I really genuinely don't think the bloke getting up and going home was a shitty thing to do. I really don't.

I do think sleeping with someone and wanting more and not telling them you were already pregnant to someone else was morally a bit problematic

DevelopingDetritus · 18/03/2017 08:24

Even if he did just want a ONS, just leaving without a goodbye or a note even was just rude IMO.

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:25

Sandy yeah it was a good night just spoiled by the morning but yeah I take your point I should focus on the good bits not the bad bits

OP posts:
Adarajames · 18/03/2017 08:26

Meh, it's done, regretting won't change it be is a pointless use of energy. Just move on with your day and accept he was a bit of a dick to just up and leave, but obviously just saw it as ons / bit of fun.
Go have nice cake with Mum / friend and enjoy your day and forget about it

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:27

I take the points that he may still be asleep but he could have left a note or not left in the middle of the night

OP posts:
ChuckDaffodils · 18/03/2017 08:27

I don't get it, a couple of people have one night stand. One wakes up early, let's the other one continue sleeping and they are suddenly a bastard?

If you can't cope with one night stands, don't have them.

PoorYorick · 18/03/2017 08:28

I am astonished at people who think it's fine to fuck a woman and disappear without so much as a by your leave. I wouldn't even leave a restaurant without saying thank you and goodbye.

When you've stuck your dick in someone you owe her a conversation, a thank you and a farewell.

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:30

I've never been harsh towards him and said more than once it's my issue not his

I've had one night stands before in similar situations I just feel upset because I didn't think this was going to be a one night stand and as I say that's my problem not having a go at him

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 08:31

What chuck said. It's a ons at this point. That's all.

I used to be the one who was getting the dick stuck in them and I would leave without a conversation or goodbye. If someone (the boyfriend) was asleep I wouldn't wake him.

And I still don't get why it's ok for the op to have shagged him, wanting more, and not told him she is already pregnant with someone else's child.

SleepingTiger · 18/03/2017 08:31

And a cup of tea before leaving.
The manners of some people these days!

Only1scoop · 18/03/2017 08:33

I can't see what he has done wrong?

He's gone home/work and just not text you back yet? It's really early still.

fruitbats · 18/03/2017 08:37

I am with Anne. I have also left following a ons and not bothered to wake or 'thank' him Grin
There is still time for him to contact the OP.
Emma I hope you had fun and he may contact you later. Thanks

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:37

Anne I'm not sure why your having an argument I have never had a go at him just said I thought it was more serious and I'm disappointed in the situation and in myself

OP posts:
Miserylovescompany2 · 18/03/2017 08:39

If its more than a one nightstand you are after then jumping into bed with someone isn't going to achieve that. Some men get off on the thrill of the chase, once they've bedded you they lose interest.

Leaving without even a backwards glance is a shit move. But, that said, he could of had a valid reason for bolting in the darkness of night? If he hasn't even bothered to reply to your text? That speaks volumes in its self though. A text texts mere seconds to send. Even if it was a "thanks for last night, I had a great time. Take care"...at least you'd know where you stand.

Concentrate on being kind to yourself OP. Set your bar higher next time.

Emma98 · 18/03/2017 08:39

Anne the comment about my mum was someone asking if I had plans today and could I meet up with some friends and get some sympathy off them I said I already had plans to go to my mums but didn't want to talk to her about what happened for obvious reasons

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 08:40

Other people are calling him all kinds of a bastard. And suggesting you infer this baby is his to make him panic laugh laugh when all the bloke did was had a one night stand and went home.

You should have been honest with him that you were pregnant, especially since you thought it was "more serious". I think that was unfair.