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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

To chuck water over 'D'P?

435 replies

FringyFringe · 16/03/2017 00:26

DP went out after work and said he'd be back late. I didn't sleep well last night so went to bed early.

He came in at 10.30pm and woke me up to watch a film with him. I didn't wake up right away, he whipped the bedsheets off me, tickled me then got a cold can from the fridge and put it against my skin repeatedly.

We do wind each other up alot and once I'd got over my initial 'just woken up' grumpiness I did see the funny side. I went to make us something to eat and when I came out of the kitchen the fucker was in bed, zonked.

I've taken the duvet and the pillows off the bed and he still hasn't moved.

WIBU to chuck a glass of water on him? I'm wide awake now after my sleep earlier and for no good reason Angry

OP posts:
Erandel · 16/03/2017 08:13

Why are some of you saying you would stab your partners? That is a really insensitive joke

ClarabellCow · 16/03/2017 08:14

What Pictish refers to about the power inequality of pranks is why they are a disciplinable offence in work places now.

It's never just a laugh, it establishes the pecking order.

picklemepopcorn · 16/03/2017 08:15

Hope he is full of horrified apologies today, and that you have a conversation about respecting each other's boundaries a bit more. Look at him with new eyes and check things are as equal as you think. I find it hard to believe a generally good man could react like this. (Forces history? Trauma background?)

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 16/03/2017 08:18

You didn't go too far, he bloody went too far!!!! And if he can do it once he'll do it again Sad,

Poorlybabysickday · 16/03/2017 08:19

There are some nasty people on here, if you don't believe just move on, no need to troll hunt.

Op I really hope you are OK, do you have any real life support?

WishIhadaGEG · 16/03/2017 08:19

What pictish said in the last two of her posts. Spot on. I couldn't have said it better.

OP, I'm sure you are going to be advised by lots of women here from their own experiences when the loves of their lives turned out to be monsters. Me included. Please accept that advice and use it to inform your own awareness of the situation you are in, so that you can protect yourself and your son. Even if you don't feel you can take drastic action now, the trust has gone from your relationship and how long can you go on being hurt, afraid, upset and waiting for the next incident? Which may well be worse. I'm sorry to say, but you really don't know this man like you thought you did. That is going to be a difficult truth to accept. What happened was not a new thing, it was always there in him. You just hadn't seen it yet.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

And for the victim blamers on this thread, shame on you big time.

YorkshireTree · 16/03/2017 08:20

Your best bet OP is to wait until he goes to work then bag up his stuff. This is unacceptable and he can pick up his stuff from the garden and find somewhere else to stay.

Happyandhungry · 16/03/2017 08:22

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Only1scoop · 16/03/2017 08:23

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FloatyCat · 16/03/2017 08:24

.

gamerchick · 16/03/2017 08:27

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Sylvannas · 16/03/2017 08:29

It doesn't matter how drunk you are..NOTHING excuses violence like that.

My DH and I mess around sometimes but absolutely no way would he put his hands to me like that. If he ever did, I'd be out the door like a shot.

However your relationship was going, the minute he was violent he crossed the line.

Do you think this could happen again? If you do decide to work it out you need to give this man a severe ultimatum. The moment he puts his hands to you again you are going to be out the door. No 3rd chances and no looking back.

I hope you are alright this morning xx

123MothergotafleA · 16/03/2017 08:33

You know what to do, don't bother asking advice of strangers on t'internet.
If you choose to stay with this bloke you will never have a moments peace.

123MothergotafleA · 16/03/2017 08:36

Sorry, posted too soon.
Think of your child and do the right thing by him. He deserves a secure safe environment if he is to grow into a well balanced man.

PoorYorick · 16/03/2017 08:37

I agree with pictish. All these "pranking" relationships have always looked off to me and yes, they always turn bad. Not necessarily this bad, but destroying possessions, ruining important appointments and so on. And you've always got to show how funny you think it is because you're such a good sport.

HoldBackTheRain · 16/03/2017 08:39

If you don't believe the OP report, to say what some of you are saying when you don't know if OP is a troll is fucking horrible.

OP I agree with all others who are telling you to get out. It's not going to get any better, trust me.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/03/2017 08:45

If DP came in and woke me for any reason I'd stab him.

Wow. The irony...

allchattedout · 16/03/2017 08:51

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ShowMeWhatYouGot · 16/03/2017 08:53

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PollytheDolly · 16/03/2017 08:55

I don't think this thread is bullshit fwiw.

How are you feeling about it all this morning OP?

ClopySow · 16/03/2017 08:56

Stop troll hunting ffs.

southall · 16/03/2017 08:56

I agree, pour water on someone who is sleeping, expect them to lash out. Its a natural reaction. Its probably an automatic caveman response. Fight response incase attacked by an animal while sleeping.

NotStoppedAllDay · 16/03/2017 08:57

So op.... what's happened this morning?

ClopySow · 16/03/2017 08:57

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notapizzaeater · 16/03/2017 09:00

He was in the wrong to start with - why would he think it's acceptable to wake someone up to watch a film ? You shouldn't have retaliated but what he did next was way out of line.

You need to sit down and have a rational discussion then decide what you want to do, personally I'd be running for the hills