Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

Welcome Kate
Love Mrs Lux's Pie Shop!

Hi all thanks for all the nice welcomes. Well am feeling so so glad I didn't open a can or a bottle as I very much doubt that I would have stopped till I had been asleep .. And then there would ha e been the embarrassing texts to man I am seeing and having the issues with a bit. ..
I have always drank really had my first can at 15 and I can remember vividly how relaxed I felt. I used to social drink a bit but not too much as had a child quite young which held me back thankfully.
It got worse after a break up back In 2003. I can go weeks without a drop but then bang I start with the binges which are awful. Last a few days really. Have been good this year apart from a blip and I want to keep at it so am going to try and pop in daily just check in and read about you all..
Am hopeless as name checking but am going to try
luxurywoman sounds like your having a game with hubby. My ex used to start at one pm every day he was off work .. And I mean every day.. In the end I couldn't bear it so I left. Such a shame really as sober he was/is a decent guy really. He still is doing it daily now...

Mrs Lux's Pie shop - open for business! I'm afraid I can't sell my pies to any Babes, it's err, because, um they might have some alcohol or something in the filling

So many new Babes joining us, it's a big old bus so there is plenty of room. I will try to NC tomorrow and catch up with all.

Made sorry lovely, didn't mean to ignore you, my back is not bad thanks.

lux hope you are ok

kate Too many mornings I have woken up and dreaded looking at my phone or checking Fb to see what shite I posted

Well I'm on my 2nd day AF. I had a little panic earlier when I remembered I won't be drinking tonight..it's the feeling like missing a step going down the stairs hope that makes sense

I'm not sure I'll make it to the weekend AF (My dc are still on school holidays and they're driving me up the wall) I'm going to try though..

well done on day 2 pedro.
I am very surprisingly having an AF day today..not sure how that happened but its the first in a bloody long time!
lux if you need any ingredients for your pies, I have about 18 stone of unwanted meat here which I'm happy to offload.

Hi everyone - i hope the easter break has been manageable, if only in small parts.
So im on day 3 AF and so far so good. I seem to be exhausted tho and had to retreat to bed after lunch for another granny nap which clearly i needed. So many nights awake, guilt ridden with wine consumption, have caught me up and i seem to be catching up on and craving sleep. Maybe this is normal and my body is trying to heal????

So DH did his usual beer at luch and g&t while cooking dinner and is busy crackin on with his bottle of red.
Wine for me didnt occur until i saw his bottle and glass on the side by the settee (we are slumming it tonight with dinner on oulr laps in front of the tv. Ok not on our laps exactly, on a plate on a tray on our laps ).

Being brutally honest here, it has been known in the very recent past that i would take a quick sneeky swig of his bottle before proceeding to the kitch to crack open one for me - and fleetingly i stood up to do the very same but managed to stop myself by telling myself how riduculous that would be and besides the teenager was in the room and would have seen me do this.

No matter the reason tho i didnt sneak a swig nor find a bottle just for me - i pulled up my "holier than now pants" and made a cuppa tea. So the moment/trigger has passed - for now - and i am feeling cautiously pleased with myself.

Am so pleased to find this safe space where i can be honest and among people who have been there and understand.

Thankyou for reading my indulgent mini blog here - i hope it helps some of you in some small way.

better I've sneaked drinks often. My old trick was when my partner left the room I'd pour some of his wine into my glass, I'd panic we'd run out of booze and I wouldn't have drunk enough.

You are doing great, sleep will settle soon. I now sleep all night long

I need a very early night after the shenanigans last night.

Hope everyone has a good evening.

Lux ive done that also - far too many times i care to or can remember - then gone on to my 2nd bottle and then hidden what i didnt finish for the next day

Writing this all down is helping me really see and acknowledge that my drinking is a real problem to address - now !

It is amazing how writing it down helps you see more clearly. I'm 107 days Pinot free. Tomorrow I'm going to work out what that means in £££ it will be a shocking sum I know. All the times when I 'couldn't afford a new top/haircut whatever - I could always find a fiver for wine.

Well done better. You can have the Smock of Smug to wear tonight.

Hello Susie
Lux Mrs Lux’s pie shop has a nice ring to it in all seriousness I’m sorry that dh is so shit, you and your dd deserve better
Hi tilly
Welcome kate
Ruby well done on day 38! Glad to hear you so positive.
Pedro fab news on day 2!
Dubh you’re right! Today she got so excited when I came downstairs, and excited and ran in circles when I got in from work. Right now she is casually lying on the floor slowly chewing her toy - she’s getting tired. Fiesty though, and she’s definitely playful (keeps bringing me her toys) and a canine hoover. Perfect for me actually - my cheese was 2g over my allowance the other day so she benefited That’s right, the bleep test, well almost. I need to be fit to even become a special or pcso (best way to get into police), and you have to be within a healthy weight anyway
Been an ok day today. Mam is a bit odd - she’s phoned her friend’s whose died family and is clearly upset, and being mam is being snappy at everyone. We’ve had words (nothing really hurtful and besides I know she don’t mean it so I’m not paying attention) but we did have a kiss before she went to bed. Also annoyed re the gym - bloody thing was shut so my good intentions are being cut short am determined to go tomorrow but working til 8pm. So getting up at 7.45, to dress, breakfast, season my chicken breast with piri piri (tomorrows tea) and be at gym by 8.30 (the ridiculously late time it opens). Will stay there 45 mins, and get a lift home at quarter past 9. Assuming back by half 9, I then will wipe down/put jammas back on, and make my second breakfast (bacon sandwich) by 10. Will then get dressed and go to work. Phew, reads like a military operation! Have made my box all ready for work so all I have to do when back from gym is eat and dress for work.

I got a green opal fruit! Thanks ma
made your schedule has worn me out just reading! You're so good to NC everyone. I'm just too tired tonight.

Night all, sweet dreams.

We're going to need a bigger bus

I love this bus. It bulges at the seams but we can always rustle up a spare seat! I rather suspect we're actually in the TARDIS. bagsy Christopher Eccleston

Today was shit as predicted. I'm good though. The master of stiff upper lip. Full face of very nice make up on and I did it.

Hello to all new travellers! You will love it here!

Dementedma thanks for the Smock of Smug which I wore last night ..... i particularly like the colour though the cut is a tad tight i am hoping to lose a few pounds by the time i am graciously offered it again .

I hope you all had a peaceful night.

Lets all aim to make steps towards a brighter and stronger day for ourselves - small steps, big steps, tentative steps or bold steps, pidgeon steps or long strides .......... we all rock, we all count, we all deserve to be kind to ourselves .........

We're going to need a bigger bus

We are! And a new thread sometime this week!

Dubh no snogging in the back seat, even if it is with Christopher Ecclestone (not jealous, oh no, not at all)

I have made it through post Easter day 1. Still kept awake by snoring though, so can't say I'm well rested. Off to work now....chat later.

Morning all, yes we are going to need a new thread maybe even today!
Newbies, keep an eye out as this thread is filling fast.

Hope everyone is ok today? New week, new start.

Hi there to all of you this nice sunny morning. Have a few day off work so that's a bonus.. Today I will
Not be drinking. Am imagining how utterly shit I would be feeling now if I had yesterday . I swear it acts as a major depressant in my brain. I know it is but think with me the effects are exaggerated.
lux you have done so well to have stopped the wine and all that money you have saved. What will you treat yourself too ?
My aim is too stop the drinking alone as really what's the point ??.
I do want to be able to have a social drink now and again but will really have to work hard on that one.
My problem is I want my life to be all smooth sailing. I need to understand that, that isn't realistic is it ? No ones really is is it ?
I need new coping mechanisms.
Wishing you all strength and support today

Hello, everyone - and especially all the new joiners. Crikey - I've been away for a few days and we need three decks to this bus!

Been feeling weirdly self-pitying recently... perhaps the "pink cloud" of early sobriety has worn off or something? Just plodding along and have made it to 61 days AF . A few months ago that was simply unimaginable. Not. Going. To. Happen. Blimey.

And now I'm left with the fact I've papered over a lot of cracks over the years with co-dependent behaviour for an "easy" (ie ragingly hungover and secretly seething) life. Ouch. My DH has started being passive aggressive since I stopped drinking. It's weird, trying not to react to it... doing the whole "his problem/my problem" thing and trying to establish a healthy boundary. It feels weird. Well of course it feels weird! It's not normal for me! Or him... but it's deeply irritating, however much I try to ignore it.

REALLY craved alcohol yesterday. I'd had enough somehow. Didn't want to be a grown up anymore. Wanted to get completely sh**faced. Such maturity, eh?! But I am so angry with so much in my life - and can't see a way through to sorting it out...

Still. I'm sober - and proud of that. And I didn't really want to drink as such - I wanted to act out somehow. Like have a massive NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME tantrum.

So what's all that about, eh?! Onward! (To the newbies - please don't be discouraged by my rant today. On the whole I find being sober is about a million times better than being drunk or hungover!)

Hello all. I fell off the bus and really would rather be on board than being dragged along behind it, understanding as I do now that by relationship with wine is just not working, that it really is a major depressant, it makes me feel like shit, and that I feel infinitely better without it.

Struggling today. I did 14 days AF until 3 days ago when the "fuckits" got me... tense, lonely and stressed because DD off school and I just struggle with being out of my normal routine. So it's day 1 again for the zillionth time.... or day 4 of a bottle of wine a night. Decision time. The witching hour.... feeling so low and lonely these last few weeks, I just want to go home to a man who loves me and cuddle up on the sofa. Instead I blot out that feeling with booze

Ahh bugger it - its my witchibg hour and i am really drawn to the wine- so far ive succombed - i will be so disappointed with myself if i have any ....... maybe i will make myself a hot oxo cube drink .... it might take the taste crave away??????

Hello, 'tis me, Mouse!!

I'm loving the quote re needing a bigger bus! We needed one ages ago, it's under construction as I type.

Sorry for not being around again, real life has kept me busy! I'm going to set up a new thread ready for later this week if nobody minds because I really miss doing it! Please say if you'd rather I didn't and I'll find another job........ I'm not sure what though!!

I promise I will try to read back as much as I can but those of you who have saved the Bus from running out are ace!

I've got more time on my hands now due to being utterly broken physically with my right hip giving me the most horrific pain, meaning I spend rather a lot of my time resting and reading.

So, if you'll have me, I'd love to see you all much more and share some mousey wisdom for those of you in need or would like to read my waffle

(Chucks several bags of opal fruits along the Bus and tops up Barry's water)

Be back soon.

Mouse xxx

mouse will you do the new thread? I'm crap at links.
Elf you are fucking awesome. Hang in there.

Ok ,so we have two clapped out second hand cars. We need two because we love rurally and both have a 45 minute commute in opposite directions. One has broken down and is waiting for a part, and the other needs an MoT.( Neither of which I can afford) but the biggest problem is I NEED to be in work on Thursday. Have a meeting with the board and then an event in the evening for 40 guests that I HAVE to speak at. Aaargh! Also DS needs to be at school ( no bus) as he has exams. How can we all be in different places with no transport!!!

mouse that would be great! We might need it by tomorrow at this rate. Please share your mousey wisdom. Hope you have a restful night x