Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Fortune, you can hide your profile so you don't get any messages (so no one can see it) which makes it easier to go back on if things don't work out. I have closed my profile so many times and have wished I hadn't.

Yeah but if you do that Lovemusic then guys that have already messaged you can still see you is that right?

I guess it's still early days tho, can't expect him to delete his because I want to.

He also doesn't message much but plans dates etc so just don't know really

fortuna maybe it's time to have 'the chat' i.e. the exclusivity chat
It's something I ought to have had with the last guy I was seeing. Both of us got quite frustrated at the other, when we saw each other still on there. However, because (like you) we didn't have all that many dates, communication between us was rather lacking ... at least in the verbal, face-to-face sense. So instead of having proper discussion over how to proceed, we let it sizzle out. A part of me regrets that now.
So, I guess I would recommend being open and honest with what you want. At least then you'll know if he's on the same page. Game playing, or attempting to second guess someone, gets you nowhere ... not that I'm saying that is what you are doing!
And if you suspend your profile for a while, I don't think you show up in searches, and you definitely don't receive any messages.
Hope it works out!

Yes, people that have messaged you already can still see you.

I deleted my profile after meeting Mr mod, I gave only seen him 4 or 5 times in 3 months and now I'm wishing I haven't deleted my profile. Long distance relationships are tough,in thought I could do it but now I have changed my mind.

At least you now know that LM33. It does make things a bit easier when you have a fixed idea about what you don't want.

I am still talking to him Dieu but unless his situation changes then it won't be going any further. I still like him but don't want to be strung along so will continue to date.

Mr mischief has just asked if he can come over for sex

Mr Drone seems nice and lives closer than I thought, he looks quite tall, I am a short ass but I quite like tall men.

Sending many messages before meeting has not worked for me...expectations are raised when you feel there is a connection virtually but in real life there can often not even be a spark!

I had one guy I had not met who wanted to speak everyday...it was draining after a long day at work and I began to dread the prearranged chit chat....I had to end that...

I do find that men tend to loose interest if they have tasted the burger too early but there are exceptions if your lucky enough to be one of those...poster earlier mentioned she's having fun ;)

I do love a tall man!

Good decision in your first paragraph there LM33. You sound much more empowered.

I'm trying to be Dieu a part of me really wants him still but I know it's not going to happen any time soon so I'm keeping my options open. I'm not sure if Mr mod thinks we are in a relationship still or not, he sent a long message which indicated we are not but then he is still messaging me as if nothing has happened. I'm just going to carry on and chat to other men.

Fortuna My timescale is a bit similar to yours- talking since November but didn't manage to meet until the start of Feb. We had a date and then we couldn't get a mutual suitable date for couple of weeks. I then saw him for date 2 and ended up with very nice MB (wasn't planning to at all ) and then date 3 a couple days later. We have connected a lot and he seems to really quite like me. He phoned me up after date 3 to say he wanted to be exclusive and then a couple days after that he sent a message to say that he was closing his profile down. We have date 4 and 5 soon and have made multiple plans for the next couple of months and there is talk of a holiday. We have also rearranged clashing children weekends so they match now.

He started the chats but I wasn't looking at the sites/chatting to anyone else at that point anyway. But it was a nice conversation for him to bring up.

I'm trying not to get OI too fast but he is lovely.

I'm also I suppose one for the early MB discussion, but by that point we had chatted a while, I was fairly sure he wouldn't disappear, I was horny as Hell, and he was very good at kissing . I had decided though that if he did vanish I would just enjoy it for what it was. Doesn't seem to have put him off . I maybe wouldn't have if I wasn't as sure of him as I was at that point.....

LM33 You sound a lot better this week

That's what I do chat to others..but then I was berrated by a guy I had spurned because of mr joiner saying 'why u still here if u been on 3 dates???'.

He was pushy too !

I noticed someone on here earlier post about being short. Do women really think they have to be tall?

I know men do, generally. It's why we lie about our height, and then you turn up on a date wearing heels and looking at the top of someone's head..

But personally I'm happier with a woman an inch or two shorter than me, max.I'd rather meet a 5 foot tall woman than a 5'10 one.

Bant I've noticed that one or two men specify that they are looking for a tall woman. I'm only 5'1 but I don't have it on my profile as I don't see it as much of an issue. If a man gives his height and he is significantly over 6 ft, then I just swipe left.

That was me
Yes, height is a thing.
As an experiment, I once went through around 300 men my age (50s) eliminating all those who would not choose me on the basis of age or height - often both. Regardless of photo or profile
The number of men was decimated.
Really, seriously, going to end my days as an elderly cat lady - no more sex- ever! :(

Ive read that the majority of men put their date's preferred height as between 5' & 5'6". It was someone who ran one of the big dating sites (OKCupid I think). I think most women set their height preference to 5'10" or over.

profiles of men on GSM, I mean
Wasn't eliminating actual men

Is there a decent OLD site for larger women like me??

This working thing is meaning I am missing so much of this thread. but to go back to some of the things brought up.

My and Mr Overseas had MB on the second date (and the third...) but we were aware he was leaving the country so waiting didn't seem like an option. he claims he would have been happy to wait until the next time he came back. but I was the one who didn't want to!

And well, that has worked out...

But i can't think of a single other first date or just met sex session that ended in a relationship. Enjoyable and all that - but not really the best start to a relationship.

I have date with mr drone, straight to the point, no messing around, asked me if I would like to go for a walk. Trying to tell myself that it's good to get on with the first date before OI with messaging for weeks.

To the person who asked about Viber. I use it - but i also prefer whatsapp.

But Viber does have some cool features like photos and video that disappear after 10 seconds (although I am yet to use that). the phone calls are pretty good too.

But i find the layout a little too cramped for my phone and I can't use it on my Chromebook

I just skip past profiles where women have stated so many things they're looking for. Brown hair, blue eyes, between 5'10 and 6'2, must have own house, and car, and a job, and a degree, and like the colour green, and be able to speak to squirrels..

It just gets to the point where you think they're looking for their ex.

That's why tinder and bumble are more interesting than pof and the like. You like the look of someone, if they like you then you talk to them. If you set up all these artificial barriers, then it's like only being willing to meet potential partners when you're at the cinema watching film noir classics, and never talking to anyone at the supermarket (not that that ever really happens)

I have a list like that in my head, but I wouldn't put it in my profile.

We all have that list in our heads, dontcall - well, probably. But it's all the ridiculous stuff that people put in there too..

Must be sporty, must want kids, aged between 34 and 37, must earn >50k, best feature must be 'eyes'..

I mean, isn't that the definition of the death of spontaneity?

And also a huge red flag saying "I am an incredibly picky person"

My limits are age, distance, and shorter than me. Because I don't want them to look down on me from the get go :)

Your right Bant, I wasn't sure about tinder as I wasn't really talking to many people ( compared to POF). It's quite nice that people can't see all your details ( if you have kids, if you smoke/drink etc..), they just go by your photo and a few words you have put about yourself.

Just been asked out on a date and he has no idea that I gave kids ( hasn't asked ) or if I smoke 20 a day.

Out of interest Bant, how did you set your age preference?