Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

How tall are you bant? Just wondering about the averages

Smoking a no-no for me

Oh I usually have the deal breaker conversation before I meet them LM - I have kids, which puts some off. I smoke, which makes me untouchable to some.

But then, some have deal breakers for me. I think 'still married' is probably one, as I've been burned before. Definitely wanting kids - I'm not sure if I do, I think probably not. Not having a job. at the gym every night.

It's horses for courses. Someone else's preferences are my anathema

Different sites have different mechanisms, education - or are you asking what mine were?

I'm 5'10 fortuna

No, not your actual age preferences, Bant. Just wondered how much older you are prepared to go.

Mr joiner is 5'10 n prob shortest guy I've dated n I love tall men but I really do like him so it doesn't bother me one bit. I'm 5'8 n 5'10 in heels

For me, it's 3 or 4 years older than me, and 6 or 7 years younger.

That sounds healthy, Bant
At my age, most men put from 15 years younger to 5 years younger.
Many set an even younger bar. ...

for me 15 to 2 yr younger
I am bad

you guys are bad too I feel really neglected here
( I read you all religiously nearly every day )

fortunacookie personally I fiercely dislike it when people hide their profiles

Well, we're all bombarded with pictures of younger women. All. The. Time. Very few attractive older women are in the limelight.

And of course men's attractiveness is associate with money and power, women's with pertness and thighs that don't touch. It's wrong, maybe, but it's prevalent.

So men go for younger women, and the majority of women go for older men.

Personally, I prefer someone who can hold a decent conversation, doesn't need a shelf full of medication, and can remember Rainbow and Edd the duck but not muffin the mule.

I go for older, have been on a couple dates with younger guys but not really my thing. I set the age at 2 years younger (33) to 45 years, though I have dated older. I don't see money as something that makes a man atractive, what they do for a living doesn't really bother me as long as they are working.

Phew just had big catch up of the thread!
Re age - I found it really bothered me when I was on Guardian SM...in that it made me feel bad about myself, men my age not interested at all. Yet Tinder, POF this wasn't an issue, v odd.
Things still on with Mr Art, and progressing but have not had the exclusivity conversation, and even though have had weekend sleepovers at both houses, and lots of affection, still no MB. First date was early Jan...do not know what to make of this really as it's not something I have experienced before...but that could be because I've had very unhealthy relationships in the past.

For the averages, I'm 6ft.

I'm 42 and would date someone 50 no probs. Youngest maybe 30s. A couple of years ago I had a few dates with a 23yr old, never again.

I do look at late 20s but realistically, I think I would struggle to date someone who hadn't already suffered the trauma of turning 30. Wouldn't rule someone out on age alone, but I think a few years older is nice if you can find it.

Just had an incomprehensible message followed by another garbage one. I'd like someone who can make actual words. I'm not even entirely sure what he's trying to say.

spring second date and MB (don't really understand that term). He said he had a lovely evening. I said I assume we'll see each other again. He said I assumed right. God he's lovely.

Quick straw poll.

You're involved in a relationship with someone, who's going to a family event. You're not able to attend, but your other half will be staying over.

Rooms at the place are limited, so they tell you they'll be sharing a room with their opposite sex sibling. And in fact sharing a bed with them.

Is this weird? A grown brother and sister sharing a bed? - when the alternative is one of them sleeps on the floor, or one of them has to get a taxi to a hotel a couple of miles away where other non-family guests are staying?

I think that's a bit odd bant but I don't have any brothers. I'd share with my sister at a push, but still would rather go elsewhere and have my own bed.

My age limits are 3 years younger to 4 years older (43-50). I'm seeing a 54 year old next week, but he didn't put his right age on (he said it was a mistake on the site ). I have a 4 year old so anyone really old will be at a different life stage to me. My absolute nos are smoking and distance. I'm a bit worried about height too and educational background (tend to prefer people with a degree in a professional job).

I've had a bit of a breakthrough on GSM. Had some likes, started a couple of chats. It was difficult though - had to put some work in there! Also a couple of nice people on tinder. It's very time consuming this though.

date tonight with mrcyclist. He's suggested cycling to him. (I'm debating it, but dates better with alcohol imo).

Bant I don't think that's weird.

Regarding age, I'm 47 and my age settings on Tinder are currently set 43 to 51. I have tried searching more widely as I don't think it's the most important thing, would consider 39 to 54.

Bant I have 2 younger brothers and at a push I would share with them in those circumstances. It would be weird but if it's just one night I'd make do.

Re age, I'm 42 and tend to search 37-49. But even then, I'm dubious about the 37 year olds as I'm looking for someone who has no children and doesn't want any of his own, as I don't want any more, but who is also happy that I have mine, so at 37, that seems to be a rare breed. I think older men have already made their peace with it, iyswim.

Waving is there a reason mr cyclist can't cycle to you instead?

I dont think it is odd either for siblings to share. I have only sisters but grew up very close to my male cousins. I would share their bed especially if after a party of some sort where you would only go to bed (and pass out) in the small ours

why do you think is odd bant ?

do you not believe such person is actually a brother?

was this plan presented to you as in I cannot phone you/talk as I would be sharing with my DB that night ?

Bant, I think it's slightly odd, I would rather sleep on the floor than share with my brother, I do have a make friend who I tell people 'he's like a brother to me' and we share a bed from time to time.

Was speaking to Mr Drone on and off last night, he got a bit funny with me because I kind of said 'cars are safer than motorbikes' didn't realise that it's not something you say to a biker , apart from that all was good.
Mr MOD messaged me last night to tell me he had to do lots of over times to pay for his farther south funeral as his dad had no insurance, this is why he has been unable to see me, the funeral is Saturday. I don't really know what to think about him anymore, I think I will just carry on messing around on tinder, talking get to others and maybe going on a date or 2 and if Mr mod re appears in a few weeks and I'm still single I will consider it.

I would rather sleep on the floor than share with my brother! [teenager eeeew face]

My age range is 3yrs younger to 7yrs older, mostly because I had my kids young and definitely don't want any more so people at the same life stage tend to be a bit older.

I was on stage last night (hobby, not profession!) and ended up being so full of adrenaline that I was messaging 3 blokes (2 ongoing 1 new) until 1am. Must learn to step away from OLD when wired

Do any of you that live in small towns have problems with privacy? I have had messages from a couple of people who are friends of friends of friends sort of thing, but even though I like them I'm reluctant to chat because I feel like it might be discussed elsewhere. Or is it 'what happens in OLD stays in OLD'? It can be massively gossipy where I live...

I don't have a brother but I will share a bed with my sister if I have to

OK things still seem to be progressing with my iron let's call him MrOutdoors. We are having our third date this week and he has said he won't be visiting GSM or messaging anyone else although no pressure on me to reciprocate.

The third date will be in the vicinity of his home and I was thinking that MB might be on the menu and I alluded to this fact in one of my texts. However it seems like he wants to take things slower as he said that everything will happen in good time, he's in no rush. Do you think this is an indicator that he wants it to lead to something more serious or could it be due to something else?

We are having lots of text contact of an evening while we are watching TV etc which one of my friends thinks is a bit needy, what is the general opinion on this? To me it's like we're having the equivalent of a half hour chat on the phone every evening but is that too much at this stage after only 2 dates (but first contact via messaging a month ago).

How can I tell if he's just lovebombing me, are there any red flags? It just all feels a bit good to be true as he seems really keen but I'm not normally very successful with men. To those of you guys that said that they weren't put off by short women, just how short can we be before it does become a problem as I am only 4'11" and think that that may be just too short for most men?