Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Hi all. Where do you stand on guys that are just too keen? I have been chatting to a guy on POF for a couple of days; he is articulate, attractive, good job. The kind of man you'd expect to be confident, and not needy.

Thing is, he seems way too invested already. We have arranged a first date for Friday, and he's saying that if it goes well, we should go out on Sunday as well
He's also very serious, and when I asked him to tell me his best joke (in an attempt to add some levity), he joked that I was putting him under pressure to make me laugh, and that I'd find him funny in real life
He also seems quite sweet, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to live up to the expectation of me that he has in his head.
And then you hear of guys who act like this at the start, only to disappear later on!
Just dunno how I feel about it. Slightly uneasy I guess ...

Personally it puts me right off. I tend not to fancy them when they are over eager.

Yeah. I mean, I've actually had to respectfully ask him to calm down a bit, and it's not really working. We're only meeting up for a walk on Friday morning, so I'll go along to see how he is in real life.

Yes good plan

Hi all ;)
Been watching this thread on and off and thought I'd finally join in!
Lol to poster who advised she felt she stepped back in time at being called 'Fly' ....memories but not of me being called that ..I wished...just the era!

WND I admire your dating energy...I remember you from threads before ;)

I've lost my enthusiasm and I hardly get dates so what's that all about and even if I had plenty I would find it tiring...I guess I just want to find a good long term partner without the dating in between. I think I was put off by a date who first saw me and I saw a flicker of disappointment on his face...I look the the same as my profile picture by the way. The evening went well and he text me a minute after we parted to say he had a really nice evening. I later brought up that I thought he looked disappointed when he saw me and he apologised for being so transparent which he said is a trait he is trying to improve and advised he knows in the first few seconds of seeing someone which is fair enough.

I won't go on...will leave that for another post lol.

Thanks for invite to join ;)

Over eagerness is definitely off putting...

Over eagerness would make me back off straight away!

It's a fine line I guess. If we play it too cool then you girlies don't think we're interested :)

I think it depends. Over eagerness too quickly makes me think a man is just desperate for a girlfriend. Any girlfriend. If we have a great date and I fancy them, it's nice to be asked on another date at the end of the date and have some nice texts.

Hmm overeagerness is a bit of a buzzkill. But then as InfoSec says, no contact is pretty off-putting too. Had one of those from GSM, keen to do dates but no texts/messages in between times (for days and days...) Eventually ended with 'I don't think I'm ready for this..'

Basically he didn't fancy me, which is fine, but in response to earlier conversation, I was glad to know that rather than have it drag on - wouldn't want to be 'friends'.

So Mr Art from Sunday is keen - WhatsApping all the time. Another date planned for Sunday. In the meantime I'm meeting Mr Science for first date coffee on Friday. He's nice, WhatsApps every so often, quite reserved but has big brown eyes. I'm a sucker for big brown eyes We'll see how that goes...

Thanks everyone. Last night I messaged to say let's see how Friday goes first, and we'll take it from there. Here was his reply (I haven't yet given out my number):

Sounds ideal. If we're going to meet at least text message at some point.
Night.x

It's nothing major, but I don't like his tone. He's a strange mix of overly keen, but mildly pissed off. I have pointed out to him that I'm a really genuine person, happy to meet etc, but it doesn't seem enough for him. He needs to chill the fuck out.

'At least'? WTF is that supposed to mean? Passive aggressive BS. I'd be backing off slowly Dieu

Well, exactly. I was a bit when I read it!

Morning all. Last night's date was ok. Really nice guy but the old no chemistry issue. Just didn't fancy him.

Which I don't think will be an issue with my other Iron.

Funny how your instinct serves you well, and mine had been not to give my number out.

Yes, sounds like he'd be the type to become a nuisance caller. Good instincts.

Yes I think that makes messaging into an obligation rather than fun!

Anyone use Viber. I keep getting asked if I use it.

Oh I hate the pushy ones. Some might remember Mr Call-a-lot from the last thread, 10:45 at night and 7:45 on Sunday morning... blocked!

I had a message of POF and because I didn't reply within 4 hours, it was followed up with '?????'. It was in the middle of the work day! I'm tempted to give him a telling off, but probably not wise to get into it.

I've used Viber before but haven't used it for ages. I prefer What'sApp.

On the messaging front , I've decided / learnt that messaging too much before the first date and/or messaging too much between the first 3* dates (depending on situ / individual obv) doesn't work well for me as it sometimes makes it easier to over Invest etc

Also on the too keen -Ness - it puts me off too - guys asking to travel or holiday with you when you've only met in person 2 or 3 times

oncemore that's really annoying. I had to block someone for doing that to me.

My promoting of the unresponsive tinder matches has resulted in a date on Thursday and another possible one next week.
The only problem is that we've gone straight from "hi, how are you" to a date without the usual get to know you chat in between. Could be interesting.

Just seen a profile that said 'anything you want to know just ask, nobody reads this anyway'.

Passive aggressive, negative, uninformative. NEXT.

RunnyMummy what have you got to lose apart from an hour of your time?

I kept swiping and got three new matches, none of whom have replied yet. I find the non-repliers infuriating.

I'm feeling a little glum as apparently I'm undateable.

I just got a mutual match with a woman on POF, who now has no profile photo, and her profile text says 'just ask'

I presume she had a photo at one point, otherwise I wouldn't have said I wanted to meet her.

And there are so many 'ask me' profiles. Why should I? It's lazy, and if men are generally expected to send the first message, at least give us something to talk about..