Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

God, I don't envy those of you who are online dating and living in a village!
Glad to be doing this in a city.

Dieu I live in a small place. I have met local blokes over the years - it has never gone much beyond 2nd date.
Thankfully I think (in hindsight)
I changed my car a while back. I think alot of the mileage on my wreck of a car was from family holidays and on-line dating meets!!

I live in a village .

The bloke who DJs at the local pub has been online for about 7 years now (OK, he was there when I first dipped my toe in the water of OLD about 7 years ago, and I've seen him online this time around too, and AFAIK he hasn't had a girlfriend in between.) Maybe it's because he's a Leave voter?! (How do I know this? Because village.)

I'm all right though, I have strayed outside the parish boundaries to a local town, ooh, 6/7 miles down the road. It's all different there, you know. The cars are cleaner. The streets are paved...

Well I'm sat in a car park of a waiting for my date, hope it's not a case of runnys experience. Lets see how this goes

Dieu I'm 3 hours North of you......what I'd give to have your choice to pick from!!!

What's the deal with 'unmatching' on Tinder?

I've only unmatched people I'm no longer interested in or who have never messaged me back.
But I've and just found myself unmatched by someone I have a date with next week?...yes we chat on WhatsApp or SnapChat and have done for a few weeks but it still feels a bit like an insult to be unmatched or am I being silly?...

Probably just to clean up Tinder. If you talk on What's App then no point keeping the Tinder link, you've already moved to the next place

Wouldn't be too fussed about that unless it means he's keeping Tinder sharp because he's using it a lot.

Date was ok. He's overly complimentary and it put me off. There's only so many times you can say thank you to it but he was a nice guy. Looked older than his photos and I'm not sure if I fancied him but then at times I'd look and think he is actually quite nice. He's a competitor body builder and I did think 'I bet I'd fancy him without his clothes on'
I'm going to think on it a few days and see if I want to second date him. He's already tried to sort one and I said leave it with me.

Just received the most unusual first message on POF. In the form of a mini boy meets girl story.
I really liked it but then I realised how was I supposed to reply.
I wrote a little reply back continuing the story. But he's replied with even more.
We could have a whole book written soon.

Morning all. I got spooked by my Mr O I. We haven't met yet but have spoken on the phone and during one of our chats he told me he married his second wife within four months of meeting her. he then told me that Social Services are involved in the car of their son. Consequently I have decided not to meet him. I was bothered by the level contact from him anyway.

Had another POF convo with someone who went onto tell me he was interested in swinging. OH well, back to square one.

Ooh RM, that would totally win me over - Lucky you

minop - I've had that thing before where you think 'no, not my type' and then the odd smile or look is quite fanciable. I'm inclined to give those ones a second date - just to check Also particularly with respect to the body-builder situation

So I had a first date with someone yesterday who I've been messaging with for ages and got a bit 'meh' about, but he was much better looking than his photos & quite nice. Problem was that the date was in a pub at lunchtime that was basically empty, we found a little table to sit down at tucked away but then 3 blokes of the middle-aged beardy sandal-wearing variety came and sat down at the table right next to us! The whole rest of the pub was empty & quiet and they chose the table next to the couple?? They then didn't even really talk to each other so there was basically total silence whilst they observed our date. I'm not one to use youth-speak but 'awkward' seems to fit the bill. We're going to give it another go without the craft-beer police...

Morning all. llareggub I ditched my mr OI too. Was a bit scary by the end.

Elizabeth sounds promising! Rare that they're better looking than their photos.

minop sorry your date wasn't more amazing.

I have a guy on bumble who keeps phoning me! I haven't chatted to him yet, but can't put it off any longer. I feel slightly uncomfortable with phone chats pre meet - they feel a bit like interviews for me. anyway, he left a message and has a nice voice (albeit American/Canadian which I wasn't expecting).

Dating plans scuppered by a vomiting 4 year old though. Up all night with her 2 nights in a row and she's now languishing on the sofa making demands of me. She's due to go with exH but not sure he'll take her. I'm pretty exhausted and tempted just to lounge around all evening.

Good morning to my favourite daters

So, this morning I have woken up with a smile on my face, as I have Date 1 with Mr Band tonight! There is no anxiety in my tummy, wondering if the date will go ahead, as I could bet my life on the fact that it will. He has organised bowling, a meal at an italian restaurant, then drinks.

We have spoken on the phone most nights this week, sometimes for a couple of hours, and he texts every day. This is what I need right now I think.

I can't say that I get the flutters when a text comes through, or that he gets my pulse going. He isn't particularly charismatic, and he talks too much! I don't know if there will be any great spark in person, or even if I'll fancy him.

However, what he is is a thoroughly decent and lovely person, with a fantastic set of values. He is intelligent academically and emotionally. My family would love him! I am not overinvested though, because although we have connected really well, he feels 'safe'. I couldn't imagine him ever letting me down.

Is this sometimes a worthy trade for passion, I don't know?

Of course, I could go along to the date, discover that I fancy him to pieces ... and then start to worry

I don't even feel nervous today, as we have spent so long talking!

Morning all!

Minop the overly complimentary thing is a bit of a turn off for me too. I don't want to be on a pedestal from the off! Mr Drums was abbot like that, way too much for me and it didn't give us a chance to just get to know each other. He seemed smitten from minute 1, and it only got worse on date 2 so I stopped it.

Spring not sure about the unmatching thing. I think I'd feel the same as you. I'm sure there's a reason, he might just be a neat freak! I like to keep the connection though, so I can revisit their photos. But you can screen shot the photos I suppose. If it was me, I'd probably just ask him in a faux offended way, see what he says.

Runny the story thing is a bit odd but very novel (pun intended)! How will you know when it's ok to step out of the story and chat normally lol!

I'm having lovely chats with Mr Planes! He's on a fishing weekend at the moment, but we were messaging all last night and he text again this morning. He's lurvely 😍 funny, kind, perfect balance of cheeky and respectful, good grammar! We're meeting up next weekend. Got everything crossed for this one!!

Dieu good luck tonight! In person is the real test, hope it goes well! And reliability is definitely not to be discounted, in my experience. Lack of it had been a reason to break up with people in the past for me.

Half I love it when just a look or movement gives me a little spark! Good luck with date 2!

Minop that sounds like a plan.

Runnymummy the story telling guy seems a bit quirky and different which in a sea of same-ness makes him stand out.

Llaregubb I suppose your Mr OI was honest with you before you met.

Have not had anyone admitting to swinging, however one man several months in told me he liked to wear female clothes. He was no Eddie Izzard (but had his dvds in his collection) I asked more about it, and he opened up a wee bit. He had put on 3stone over the years so sadly his lady clothes did not fit & he had never bought new ones. We were very different shapes & sizes so my clothes (I don't do dressy clothes really) were never going to be on his back!

I suppose it takes ALL sorts.
Have a good Saturday everyone.

The story message sounds good. I'm more pleased that someone tried something different and it worked, good for him :)

dieu good luck with your date. Sounds promising
Elizabeth what a nightmare first date. At least you've agreed to give it a second chance.

I must admit I am totally hooked by my story writer. Not sure how it will go. As someone pointed out. At some point we need to move on to 'proper' messages. I'm just enjoying it will I can.

Did he have some hooks into your profile content in the opener or was it something that could have gone to anyone?

info he picked up on little things in my profile and photos.

I guess he probably tries it with other women but it would take a fair bit of work.

Miles better than my tinder match
Him: hello
Me: hello
Him: you ok?
Me: yes thanks. How's your weekend? Anything exciting planned?
Him: no
Me: I don't think this chat is going anywhere. I don't really understand what you're looking for here
Him: ??? I don't understand you
Me: unmatch!!

runny! Some people just don't get it.

I like the sound of the storyteller more now I know it is personalised!

Runny story of my OLD life!

Got so fed up of it I actually put a request on my profile for pp to stop asking me how I am. I then get a message from a guy saying it was unfriendly and made me look like a horrible person !

Just catching up, looks like you have all been busy. I'm still stuck in limbo with Mr Mod, he was meant to be coming to see me today but something came up (good job I didn't make any plans this time and I kind of expected it to not happen). I have been kind of seeing someone over the past 2 weeks but not really in a sexual or romantic way, a old friend, just meeting up, enjoying each other's company, I don't the no I really fancy him and he still lives with his wife (for the kids apparently) so things will not be going any further than 'just friends'. I haven't really been on Tinder, have had a busy few weeks so no time for dating, the few irons I have are getting a bit fed up with me as I can't find time to go on a date as I have been working evenings.

Can I join and revive the distance debate? I am seeing someone met on OLD since last fall- we are both in London but still 1 hour apart!!! Now it is ok as we are taking things slow and see each other 1x week but I worry this will be an obstacle moving forward-- any opinions/ advice/ stories???