Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Aww Lettuce, that's really shit. Match have got form for that, I think.

I joined Match when I first started online dating, 6 months ago. When my membership expired, I decided that I no longer wanted to continue with a paid subscription, and joined POF instead. I love it so far!

Runny- sorry to hear about Mr slow, but at least he can go straight to the "no"pile.
I think distance wise about an hour is the max for me too. At least if meeting half way is not too bad for either, but an hour is absolute tops would really prefer nearer.
My current flame who I met on tinder is an hour away but works much nearer so I think that's why he showed up on my matches.
Anyway glad he did, had another great evening -he is so funny and seems very decent. Had a little snog at the end: he's a good kisser and smells really good so hoping for further action on that front!
Don't want to oi but just cannot help myself - how do you lot stop yourself from fantasising about potential happily ever after?!?

Plentyoffishnets
I like YOUR name!

0ver-investment is ok (in my opinion) once you have met...
You have physically met twice now. So he clearly is a person.
I am sure you know (from gut instinct) that he is decent & not lying & thieving. (as in a scam)

My irrational fear has always been that any bods that I met had a wife & multiple children hidden from view 40 miles up road.

Yes I did meet one classic - 00ops yeah
"I am.sorry .....Forgot to mention I am very married......wife had an affair
So now I am.playing the field to get her back.....She does not understand me...you are so much prettier...more dynamic....
I am.not pretty.
I am a 60s baby
I am too bloody skint to be dynamic
I will be a univerdity student hopefully again in the not too distant future before senility kicks in.

I also need to stop reading this thread & get back to real life!

This thread gives me
1 Hope
2 A sense of community
3 Fun in a sometimes boring & monotonous groundhog day existence.
4 Proper belly laughs & the emotional kick up the ass that I have always needed to stop being a self pitiyng lonely old bod; who has always believed the crap that people I know and cherish put on silly social media.
5 Free advice & legitimate support & dare I say it - counselling from afar without the social stigma & financial out-lay.
6 Thank you to one & all who have ever contributed to this thread. In over ten years of reading it has given me a reason to get up & out of bed when everything else has been just too bloody difficult.

P.S.
Could someone please let me know what lonely hearts club or on-line dating site GSM is please.

P.P.S.
Alot of my mates have adult children who have met their current partner, boyfriend or husband through on-line dating.

L.SOUP.

Lettuce, I think GSM is guardian soul mates, or is what I have been reading it as anyway.
You are right, this thread is awesome. I think it is so helpful to have a collective view of dating and makes it so much easier to tackle the OLD knowing others are going through or have gone through similar as it can be a pretty rocky ride.
I still feel cautiously optimistic that there is a chance of meeting a partner through OLD which keeps me at it. You just never know with any relationship what issues you may come up against no matter how you've met.

Runny sorry to read of the non-date, that's awful! Maybe he left his phone at home, but then if that was me, I'd wait outside so as not to miss the person if I knew there was no way the contact me. He sounds like a dickhead.

Lettuce I love this thread too. It has saved me from a couple of situations that I would not have known how to deal with otherwise.

I don't really talk about OLD with friends or family much, because it's so up and down, liking someone then meeting them and not liking them and it's over in a flash, etc. It's great to spill and get solid advice from here.

Info you sound really respectful and courteous to me, not sexist at all. The rules are hard to navigate, but i always appreciate an attitude like yours. Not because I'm a woman but because I'm a person, if that makes sense.

Thanks everyone for your perspective on Mr Slow and the date that didn't happen.
I spent all evening going over it in my head, trying to decide if I should give him another chance. But I don't think he's worth it.
The car park was huge and very dark but I think I saw him leave, as there was only one car that arrived after me and left before me. If that was him then by that time he would've had two missed calls and a text saying I was in my car.
And I know he had his phone on him because he said he'd seen my text and thought I'd written I was waiting in the bar - when he couldn't find me, he left!

Thanks Dieu, I never used to stay single, used to always end up pretty much straight into something after something before. Since Nov 2015 though, pffff I dunno :)

Thank you Bleach, it's important to have correct core values and respect. It horrifies me when I hear the stories on here about blokes being so disrespectful. It's not just creepy and unnecessary, it means that's flowing high up in their person :(

Runny, I think you had a lucky escape, sounds like his head is in the clouds, most people would have checked their phone and would have messaged asking where you were. He could be a really nice person but sounds like he maybe lacking common sense. Mr mod is a bit like this and it's quite frustrating.

When people ask why I'm single I say "just lucky I guess".

Meeting in pubs, I prefer it if we meet outside, as people have found going into a pub on your own and looking round hopefully is really horrible.

I've been stood up on dates before - a couple of times. Both were with women who said they'd had a family emergency (and while I think they actually chickened out, at least I was able to tell they hadn't turned up, seen me and run away)

But I had the phone out on the table, checking it, sent messages after they were a few minutes late, and again afterwards.

How can someone be on a date and not check their phone?

Ridiculous man

I think I might have been stealth tested on my Brexit view last night by Ms Dancer. I think I got away with it ! ( in the interests of transparency I have different views from most on the thread, but not for the usual reasons, and my reasons are well considered, with proper thought given to the consequences... ).

It's Friday again folks. Here's hoping for a weekend free from fuckwits and people like Runny was screwed around by... And maybe one day I'll get a bumble match that says something !

InfoSec you're not the only one appalled by some of the attitudes some men display... I'm no saint, but some of the crap I read on here and hear from female friends makes me embarrassed to be a man sometimes. Where did common decency and consideration for the feelings of other go ?

I've actually put no UKIP supporters on my profile! I used to live in London where it wasn't an issue but since moving back to the West Midlands ( 55% leave in my area), attitudes are more right wing and intolerant. Got no time for that bobbins and I'd rather be single than with someone who had values I find abhorrent.

Dear Lettucesoup,
You have crystallised in your post what I think and feel about this thread (and previous ones!).
Thank you all. Wine and luck to everyone.

Bit early for wine?

Actually, it's Friday, cheers..

He had an adult daughter who he said made an effort (unlike me he meant) in terms of assets make-up and dressy clothes

Oh dear God . Yessssss......how could you ever measure up to his daughter?!?!.

He sounds like Donald trump

god mr Lank sounds awful! haha (and I never write that!) at Donald Trump

lettuce it's really nice to hear positive stories!

I have a date tomorrow I think. I'm going to call him MrBanker because he is. We've been messaging for ages and then he disappears for a while and comes back. He is rich so I hope I like him. (not entirely joking).

But suspect he's a bit repressed. I told him I was working at home today and he said if he was with me he'd "flirt" with me. Hmm. Don't think he knows how to do flirtatious banter really.

Date on Tuesday too

Have put off MrUneducated because he started to scare me with his neediness.

A few other irons floating around but I keep feeling too overwhelmed by them all. (Life with my exh, sick children, builders and work is getting in the way a little bit at the moment)

On the distance issue, I've narrowed down my irons to London - I can't see how it would work out if they lived in Surrey

(realised the first line of my post doesn't make sense - I wrote "lol" instead of haha to start with, but then deleted it - couldn't bring myself to write it!)

Happy St Patrick's Day to All

I hope that no
"Lank"s or "Stroppy Cow"s spoil the weekend for us all.

Bloody hell another thread on daring dating is more than three quarters through.

🍻 🍸🍸 🍷🍷☕☕
Here is to mumsnet & mates in general

clinks glasses with Lettuce

clinks glasses with Lettuce and Dieu Thank heavens for old skool city lunches... Two hours to go and then I get to drink again all over again. Islington has too much temptation !

Can I post and say you lot are great, too?
You probably saved me from disaster with Mr ? How can someone as old as me be so clueless?
Can I lurk and learn?
Got a message on GSM but, from his online time, think he is spending the evening messaging younger and taller more interesting women, so not holding my breath.

lettuce how unpleasant

Clinks glasses with everyone. Wishing you all a good weekend.
I have no dates but a couple of potential irons.

But having ditched Mr Blocker for living too far away, I've just discovered that I've been messaging someone who works in the village where I live. Little too close.