Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I can't bear video calling, I'd have to put make up on, wear something nice and tidy up just to make a phone call! No way!

lettuce he's called Mr Slow because he talks very very very slowly. We've not met but have had two phone calls as he's not keen on endless texts.

Destiny I didn't realise it was a video call until I answered. Mouthful of food in my work clothes. I have a very unglamorous and usually dirty job. I haven't heard from him since.

I would always travel to meet someone. My very first OLD date was 2hrs and I went to her. It may be old fashioned and perceived sexist but I like the woman to know she is on known local ground and she is likely to feel more relaxed in familiar surroundings.

I feel like it's the gentlemanly thing to do, if someone feels like that is sexist and wishes to come to me, no problem!!

I cancelled the date with the ex tonight. I just wasn't enthusiastic about it all so didn't see the point.

I have travelled for first dates, also had men travel to see me and also met half way. It's nice for a man to offer to come to me but I'm happy to drive.

I used to always travel to see 1st dates.
Originally I saw people in my locality.

However 1st dates rarely resulted in 2nd dates & so it got embarassing being in the local every so often with a different bloke. Nosey people in the small place I used to live in do like their gossip!!

The father of my children is also local to the area where I love so I found it "freeing" to meet closer to the "iron" or halfway.

For me...as a female, I have felt vulnerable. So I became vague as to which particular place I lived. ..purely for self-preservation!

....Where I live.

Same lettuce, didn't want people in the local pub thinking that I was some kind of man eater, plus I didn't want to bump into people I know when out on a date.

Well we all know how far away Mr overseas lives! To be fair when we met he was less than an hour away - little did I know he would be 24 hours away for the rest of the time.

But on our dates he did travel to me every time. And previous dates with other men too. I think that is the done thing. I actually expected it.

One thing Mr Overseas said to me was "I am happy to come to you or meet halfway...whatever allows you to set up the best boundaries for the date".

In other words he cared that I felt entirely comfortable. That is a good thing.

Remember
Your man - Mr overseas sounds sweet ☺

Lovemusic have been embarassed over the years plenty of times. Could not manage a 1st date & seeing a mate in the same venue.

I cannot multi-task

Talking of distance I'm meeting a new iron tomorrow half way so 30 minutes each. Did someone know a good app that tells you good places to go half way?

lettuce I went on a date 2 years ago, went for a walk at a very local beauty spot and bumped into my FWB, felt very awkward. Now I try and meet somewhere where I'm not likely to bump into anyone I know.

minop whatshalfway.com

My date this evening with Mr Slow consisted of me sitting in a pub car park for 30mins chatting to another guy on Tinder.

Why? Because Mr Slow is incapable of checking his phone for missed calls (3 from me) or texts (2 of them). Instead he sat in the pub reading the paper. And when I didn't show he left and looked at his phone when he got home.
I did look in the pub but there was a big group in there and apparently he was tucked in the corner behind them.

Runny that's awful. Even if he's not a habitual phone checker, when you were not there within 5 or 10 mins of the arranged time you would have thought he would check his phone.

It would also have been thoughtful if he had sat somewhere he could easily be spotted and looked out for you.

Info it sounds very sweet when you put it like that! You deserve to meet someone nice. I think it all depends on the locations involved.

I agree with all the comments on distance. If you're in a long term relationship and you have to temporarily go long distance, I think that can work out. Starting off long distance? Doesn't sound like a good foundation.

Beardy has been texting me every day since our date on Monday. (Yes, I appreciate that's only 3 days.) We can't meet up this weekend for various reasons, but he seems keen to keep the conversation going, which is nice. I like that he's thinking of me. He's helped lift my mood when I've had problems at work and I'm just starting to remember how nice it is to have someone around who makes life easier, rather than harder.

Curious to see how I feel when I see him again. I'd quite like to kiss him just to see if I feel anything physically. Sometimes you don't know either way until you try kissing.

RunnnyMummy That's... weird. If you had agreed to meet someone at a particular time, he should have been checking his phone. Unless of course he didn't actually show up in the first place.

Runny How grim was that?
Crazy slow bloke. Move on quickly!

Met 1st ever on-line date for 1st & only time in a pub in Bromley.
He was soooo tall his trousers were too short. I walked into a pub I had never been in before - specs on and scanned the whole huge bar at 7pm on a Friday night. I slinked into the toilet rang him and said
"What time will you get here?"
He was in the pub but tucked in behind the front door. Plus he had clocked me. Did not think to save my embarrassment and introduce himself. After finally meeting and spending time having two soft drinks. He informed me I needed to get my "assets out" if I wanted to make a proper impression. We never did meet again. I chose not to tell him to go shopping for trousers of the right length. I do hate meeting in pubs. I try to avoid them & extra tall men!!

lettucesoup He sounds like an absolute muppet. Lucky escape.

WTF is wrong with some people. Assets out? It has to be true because you just couldn't make it up.

Info WHY are you still single?!

Oh fuck, sorry, I hate it when men ask me that on the dating site. I just didn't think there, and meant it as a compliment

Mr Lank was so charming - not. He had an adult daughter who he said made an effort (unlike me he meant) in terms of assets make-up and dressy clothes. It was all so ridiculous he was a car salesman who was still in his work uniform on a 1st date on a Friday night....trying to make an impression on me. His work trousers had had an argument with his ankles....

Funnilu enough he texted me for ages afterwards. I have only very recently been taught how to block telephone numbers by my teenager!!

Dating in middle age is grim.
I do think it would be a great subject if only I had the balls to do stand-up.

His job alone would have had me running for the hills
Seriously, what a wanker.

Dieu Yeah he was a total & utter wanker.
Auto-correct just changed
Wanker to Winner!!!

The whole 1st ever online date with Lank, after escaping from another wanker - (husband) terrified me. I forgot about Match & tried to get on with life on my own with young children. A long time later I got a totally unexpected large credit card bill. I had used credit card in that time for initial membership of Match.com.

I had not realised that Match on a regular basis had been taking repeat payments from.my card.

So my experience with Match taught me something special
Always read the small print and avoid over-tall salesmen with teenage daughters.