Dating thread 114 - come and join us!

[WavingNotDrowning]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Too much Crap. I know it's hard to start a conversation online but there must be something better than, how r u?

Or is this just standard and I should try and reply nicely??

Destinysdaughter I'm a grammar pedant too. A man who knows how to use a semi-colon properly immediately increases in his attractiveness as far as I'm concerned. I think for people like us, if the first message involves txtspk, you know deep down there's nowhere to go. If it's missing a few bits of punctuation, but there are actual sentences... maybe bite. Don't bother replying nicely if you know the language is physically hurting you! Just means you're not compatible.

I feel like such a snob! I just unmatched someone on Tinder who said lady's instead of ladies. I just don't get how someone doesn't understand how to use plurals in this day and age? Maybe it's my issue, but it's a deal breaker for me. Especially as ALL you have to go on at this stage is someone's use of words...

Sometimes I feel like having a public dating profile is just an invitation for abuse.

One guy's profile says he doesn't want 'bunny boilers'

I tried to pull him up on this but he was too stupid to get it and now he wants a debate with me. I just want him to go away!

Destiny if you're on Pof you can set it up so that first messages have to be a certain length - go in to edit your profile and scroll to the bottom.

I'm put off by terrible messages too. The odd mistake I don't mind as It can be autocorrect etc, but if their profile blurb is badly written, I'd assume they didn't care enough to get it right.

I have date 2 with Mr Drums today at lunchtime. Hoping I feel something, I'm warming to the idea more than I was.

there must be something better than, how r u?

there is definitely something worse than that "How's u" (cringe cringe)
AND I do lots of spelling mistakes and typos, but that is quite deliberate

Aargh! Lots of catching up to do! I'm sorry if I come across as one of those who doesn't respond to other posters - I just get too far behind and the conversation moves on! I do love this thread though

Beards - I'm not a big fan, but I quickly realised that if I was going to rule out men on the basis of beardyness I was going to struggle to find a single date, so I have become beard-flexible . Any road, no one gets to tell anyone else what they should do with their appearance, so anyone who tries it can sod off in my book

Grammar - I'd like to be a grammar snob and things like 'lady's' really annoy me, but on the other hand I know I make lots of mistakes myself (I have no idea what to do with a semi-colon ) so I try not to judge too harshly.

So I had two lovely dates this weekend, Sat night's guy was very intelligent, interesting and cultured, sweet & polite too. Yesterday's 3rd date with Mr Carjacker was extremely naughty and fun. Not quite sure what to do as there has been no exclusivity talk with Mr CJ (and I'm not sure if I would want there to be) but at the same time feels a bit weird to have a 2nd date with the other guy. Maybe I'm overthinking?

So who here has experience of being Catfished or have had an Iron attempt to extract money?....

Looks like I was right about the iron I was suspicious of....he asked for help with a loan last night. Sick Grandma at home in America. Something about him has had my guard up from the start. And I see a lot of Moneygram scams in my job so I kept at it to see the other side. He's very good lol.

Never been catfished, but I've just had a message from who sounds like my ideal guy. He's articulate, cute and actually read my profile. And having read his, we're into the same stuff and have the same outlook.

Oh, and had a message from one who isn't as cute but again, read my profile, can spell properly and has shared interests.

Why are men like buses? Nothing and then three at once!

Based on something Beardy McBeardface said last night, I don't think we're compatible and I don't think he realises it. Up until then he was doing so well. I will meet him and keep an open mind, but it may be onto McDreamy next and I feel bad about that.

I hate that this game is such a game...

I don't mind beards so long they look clean. I would not want to date Mr Twit.

Mr Twit

I lasted a whole day without OLD.
After a chat with some friends I put my profile back on POF and I'm trying OKstupid.
But....Neither is on my phone. Using web access only so I don't feel like I'm getting pressured to respond to messages. And I'm not tempted to keep looking and swiping.
It was just distracting me too much.

Beards - I'd never really considered them before but i am finding I like the groomed beard look. If only the beardy blokes liked me

I don't use it on my phone either. I don't want to feel I have to be "on call".

Morning all. Took the weekend off all of this to go away with my sister. had a lovely time. I'm feeling a bit half hearted about all of this at the moment - too much other stuff on (work, building work etc) and I just feel too stressed by all of that.

On the beard front: I love a beard! Went out with a guy last week though and his beard was too bushy. In fact MrCyclist (from last week) also had a beard.

New week though. I have made some progress on GSM and now have 3 irons on the go! One is very very very keen, but is slightly putting me off now. Also (and this sounds snobby but I don't mean to be), I usually go for professional people with a degree. This guy is an electrician and no education past high school. Some of his spelling is a bit dodgy. But he makes me laugh and we have lots in common. Anyway, may be seeing him on Friday.

have a date on Sat too with another GSM man and then several others all want a date. I am guilty of planning dates though with people I'm just not going to click with. I need to be more discerning.

Pringle is it BeardyMcBeardy tonight? Hope it goes well.

Hello to everyone else!

Its so lovely hearing some of the lovely dates you are all having!! My 2nd date with Mr Bonkers went OK but I didn't take it further. Had my first date with Mr Tooth last week and it was really nice. Second date tomorrow evening to decide where to go for a walk and pub lunch at the weekend. The only downside is hes a bit short (first comment was 'wow you're tall aren't you?! - I didn't even have my big heels on!!) and he seems a bit reluctant to make a decision but maybe thats just new dating apprehension!

Had an interesting comment from a friend this morning - I said I didn't think Mr T would be a long term thing and maybe I should stop it now so I didn't hurt him. She said "Enjoy it for what it is - stop planning for something which may not happen and if you do hurt his feelings, then so be it. Hes an adult and will deal with it - I'm sure that if he hurts your feelings he wont be worrying too much about it!" Made me realise how much time I spend worrying about how other people feel and how often I stop doing things for fear of hurting people!

WavingNotDrowning Beardy McBeardface is tonight at 7. Expect loo update later!

Oh god. Starting to get nervous about getting back in the saddle. I don't think tonight's date is going to be the one, but I am still an anxious mix of excited and scared! It's only a first date... it's only a first date...

pringlecat good luck!! look forward to hearing about a great success tomorrow!! x

... there will be a saddle? Surely a chair is more commonplace for a first date...?

Last night with Mr MOD went quite well, he stayed until lunch time today and has messaged a few times since being home. All was going great until he started talking about his plans for the future which involve me, though he hadn't really considered how I might feel about these plans. Because of the fact he changes his mind a lot I am trying not to think too much into it and just take each day as it comes (try not to OI).

Hello, long time lurker on this thread.

I'm a perpetually single 30 year old. Really not sure what's wrong with me. My friends are all settled. I've been internet dating with no success for about five years. Moved onto Tinder about 6 months ago, but really struggle getting second dates - I've only had one!!

I had a date on Wednesday evening with someone I was actually really keen on. I thought it went pretty well (though I've thought that before) but he didn't say anything about meeting again at the end. I text him the following lunchtime to say thanks/had a nice time/have a nice weekend - he was flying abroad for a long weekend on Thursday evening. I haven't heard anything back from him. He was flying back Sunday evening.

He isn't going to text is he? Normally I find they just ignore you. It's so depressing. I had convinced myself that maybe it was just because he was away, but he could have text on Thursday before he left. Am I kidding myself?

Och Dino that's rubbish. The whole thing is a bit of a minefield, isn't it? Lots of second guessing and waiting around. Nothing wrong with you, I'm sure. Have you tried joining meet-up groups and the like, to hopefully meet someone with similar interests? I have been online dating a relatively short amount of time, but would find the thought of doing this long-term incredibly soul-destroying. I can't lie!
Is it that they maybe sense you're (too?) keen? I don't know.

Pringle the whole educational background thing has given me much food for thought lately. Subconsciously, I think I write off anyone who hasn't had similar to me. To be fair, my most successful dates and relationships have had an equivalent level of education.
And I cannot stress how off-putting I find spelling and grammar mistakes.
I am generally very nice and polite to all though, and like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Dinosaur, it's horrible when that happens but think you need to move on from that one. I think when they are interested you know.
What men are you swiping on on tinder? Are they all the conventionally attractive one's? I have taken to swiping on anyone who is not unattractive! Couple of really nice tinder guys I have matched with have said I was their only match or only one that wasn't an obvious fake profile. One I am on a second date with later this week and have a very good feeling about -he is ace and is attractive in real life (but may have been passed over by many when swiping) . Maybe with more "normal" matches you may find more genuine types as think tinder has a lot of playboys! (though they seem to be pretty open about it on there at least)

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I posted although I've been keeping up with all the posts over the past few weeks.

Over the past week I've had two dates with a man who lives in my village (just moved into a beautiful, old house which he's been doing up) who I met on OLD here in France. The first date was for an hour and we had a great conversation and we texted immediately after and he told me how keen he was to see me again. The second time was on Saturday evening. I took the risk of going to his house after he'd promised me I had nothing to fear and indeed he was true to his word. The connection was great and there was plenty of sexual tension. After three hours of listening to music, chatting and laughing he started to kiss me. I ended up sleeping on the couch with him at 4am after he'd promised he'd respect my wish not to have MB. Again he followed through with his promise.

In the evening he told me that I was the first woman he'd met in the past three years (since his breakup) which he'd talked to his friends about and he said some really lovely things.

I left whilst he was sleeping at 6am. I told him I was leaving but he was sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake him. On finding me gone he texted me and said he was sad to have woken up without me. He Invited me for coffee before his daughter showed up but I couldn't make it. We had a great conversation via sms. He knows I've recently come out of a relationship (nothing serious) and we both know that finding the time to see each other between our respective kids, jobs and his football trainer responsibilities won't always be easy.

But here's the snag. Along with a new relationship come the highs and the anxiety. I know it's the same for everybody but I immediately start fretting. For example this morning for the first time in a week he didn't send me a message and this leads to me irrationally assuming that he's going off me. I know it's up to me to work on myself but I'm just wondering if any of you go through the same early relationship jitters and if so how do you deal with it? This anxiety can be from time to time quite debilitating and I think it's made worse here in the sense that this is the first man I've dated since my divorce with whom I actually feel there's potential.