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Original poster

Men and their height.

108 replies

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 27/02/2017 22:44

I understand why men are self-conscious about their height. There are enough threads on MN where women say they wouldn't date someone shorter them, shorter than 6 foot or shorter than some other arbitrary marker.

Personally, I don't care. If Peter Dinklage wants to leave his wife and ask me out for a date, I'm entirely up for that.

But why LIE? That's the bit that baffles me. We can tell, you know. You could lie about your weight. People carry their weight differently. People don't carry their height differently. It's literally how many cms the top of your head is from the ground.

Saw a lovely FWB tonight. He's the same height as me. I'm 5'6. Whereas apparently he's 5'9 and a half. I did splutter "Bollocks you are. Maybe on your online dating profile" when he said it.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 28/02/2017 12:22

"I do get that lots of men probably don't actually know how tall they are, though. It's not something that comes up in adult life really, is it? I haven't grown (upwards at least!) since I was about 11. I bet the last time I had my height measured, my mum did it."

It's not just men, honestly...it's women too, they ask their friends how tall they are, or tell me they're taller than me when I can see quite clearly they're not.

In fact men as a rule might not be right about their height because they go, um..dunno, about x? But it's rarer that they insist they're not actually the height they are compared to women.

Basically nobody seems to know what height they are, lol

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 12:31

I even tried a few weeks ago and went out with a 5' 9" guy. Did nothing for me. Nothing.

I'm not buying this. Sorry. I just don't believe that you met a confident, assertive, successful, caring, kind, emotionally available man with whom you had great chemistry, and the only reason you couldn't pursue a relationship was because he was merely eight inches taller than you. There was something else that put you off him. Especially since you go on to say "I'm not saying that if I bumped into someone and they were shorter than my preference and I happened to totally hit it off with them that I wouldn't go out with them."

Of course you're allowed whatever preferences you like but if you insist that a man must be a full four inches taller than the national average, accept the odds. There are fewer of those men and they're in high demand.

But frankly, if you're petite and can even tell whether a man is eight or twelve inches taller than you, I'm impressed.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 28/02/2017 12:31

There's plenty of chaps to go round, regardless of their height

Except if 6ft'ers are statistically above the norm yet highly prized, there won't be nearly enough of them to go around. So people who would like tall men will either have to settle for shorter or go without, sometimes.

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 12:34

There's plenty of chaps to go round, regardless of their height.

Yes, but so many women are very regardful of height. Which I can understand, to a point, though I think everyone benefits when we're open minded. Plenty of 6'2" men exist, sure, but they are not the average, mode or median.

To paraphrase a woman who knew how this worked, there are not as many 6'2" men as there are pretty women who deserve them.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 28/02/2017 13:01

It's something like less than 20% of men are over 6 foot tall. If say 40% of women (made up statistic of the day) want someone over 6 foot then there are going to be a lot of disappointed women. Even then though the tall men don't necessarily want the women who want them. If the male choice isn't influenced by what the woman wants then it doesn't matter how many other women are prescriptive over height, you've still only got a 20% chance of getting a tall one.

(Not sure I'm expressing the logic very well!)

Lockheart · 28/02/2017 13:25

I'm 5'10 and if I insisted on only dating men taller than me I'd rule out over half the male population on an arbitrary whim, which frankly seems a bit stupid. I've only ever been with 1 guy who was taller than me, and he was an arse. All the other guys have been my height or shorter. The last guy I was seeing was 5'6".

Do I give a fuck? Do I buggery.

Pollyanna9 · 28/02/2017 14:14

And Lockheart that is YOUR preference, just as any other requirements whether they be height, build or anything else, are other people's preferences whether you agree with them or not.

TerrorTwilight · 28/02/2017 14:42

FWIW I tend to like shorter women. Don't know why. Possibly due to being a 6ft brick outhouse, there's just something sexy about the disparity. Plus, y'know. Comes in handy for lifting her up and, ahem, other associated advantages.

Saying that, I have dated women who have been 5'8", 5'9". Nothing is a dealbreaker apart from just not fancying them, and sometimes who you fancy can really surprise you.

PhilODox · 28/02/2017 14:51

Lockhart, Yorick, the reason you're happy to mate with men smaller than 6foot is because your gene pool already has genes for good height!
Height is a desirable biological variable. People that are taller earn more, for example.

Lockheart · 28/02/2017 15:12

I don't disagree with anyone's preferences, Pollyanna - I was merely stating mine. If you're 5'3" (for example) and only want to date men taller than you then the world is your oyster but if I did that I'd be limiting myself to a much smaller pool of men.

My genes don't really give a crap who I fancy Phil - I've had many a crush on tall men and short men alike. Chance has meant so far that the guys I've actually dated have normally been shorter. If I had to make up an ideal fantasy man he'd be taller than me. However I hear Mr Hemsworth is married.

tabulahrasa · 28/02/2017 15:24

"the reason you're happy to mate with men smaller than 6foot is because your gene pool already has genes for good height!"

I'm not convinced by that at all tbh, if it was about genetic diversity, people would be attracted to completely different types than they are - height for men ties in with societal values of attractiveness.

Look at the women on this thread who say they want to wear heels or that men aren't happy if they're taller than them, if it was about genes men wouldn't have an issue with tall women, but they do because height is all tied up with masculinity.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 28/02/2017 15:44

What I find physically attractive in a sexual partner is out of my control, and having dated men of all shapes, sizes and ages I can now safely say I know what turns me on and off. I happen to prefer men ~4-5 inches taller than me, so ~5'10"/5'11"; I hate being taller when I wear heels and if they're well over 6' the kissing/shagging combo gets tricky which is a shame. I also prefer them to be more muscley, broader, stronger and more hairy than me as the masculine/feminine contrast turns me on. Do I feel bad for having preferences? No. Men tend to be just as "shallow" (if not more so in my experience of OD).

Pollyanna9 · 28/02/2017 16:03

I have NEVER heard such rot that having sex becomes difficult if the guy is much taller than you!

It makes NO difference in bed let me assure you - unless both parties have necks that don't bend or something.

womanwithoutasong · 28/02/2017 16:18

I'd happily date a man who was 5' 10" or 5' 11" but you can't set your online dating filter to that because the short guys lie and say they're taller than they are so that you don't filter them out on height. Hence the majority of women setting the filter at 6' to avoid the awkwardness on meeting a man who says he's 5'10" online but is actually 5' 7".

Also, I can't believe that people don't know how tall they are. They must know which clothing range they fall into. Short, Regular or Tall. Also, is it just me that gets measured and weighed every time I go to the doctor? It must be.

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 16:19

Lockhart, Yorick, the reason you're happy to mate with men smaller than 6foot is because your gene pool already has genes for good height!

Ergh. I'll leave aside the assumptions about my husband's and my height and the cod science and just pull you up on the worst part of that horrible post.

Did you just refer to me as "mating"?

UpYerGansey · 28/02/2017 16:29

Well, I was married for quite a while to a 6'3" male, and I can state categorically that For ME, (5'5") the bits all just go together better with males of around the 5'10" mark.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 28/02/2017 17:14

Lockhart, Yorick, the reason you're happy to mate with men smaller than 6foot is because your gene pool already has genes for good height!

Absolute bullshit!

Also, all this stuff about wanting the man to be much taller even if you are in heels, wanting to feel small next to him, it all reads like a manifestation of societal expectations of genders as well as sex, little dainty lady overpowered by the big strong man. None of my business what lights your candle, obviously, I just find it odd personally, as it does nothing for me at all. I like to feel evenly matched to a man in pretty much every way.

Gingerbreadlass · 28/02/2017 17:37

I prefer short, slimmer men who don't cast their shadow over the entire door frame. I'm 5"4 and the last one I was seeing was 5"6 and very taut, not a bit of fat on him and ripped (professional athlete). However if I met a bigger man in person and I liked him then who cares. I had a boyfriend who was 6"11 and I loved him dearly. Doesn't matter to me. Lying about it is just not cool but then I appraise my prey in real life and don't do OLD Grin

wherearemymarbles · 28/02/2017 19:31

I think the gene thing is rubbish. A lovely woman in our hamburg office is 6ft 1. Her husband is 6ft 6. But then Germans are tall.
Im 6ft and was the shortest person in meeting room with 5 men and 3 women. (Ok the women were in shortish heals)

Personally I prefer taller women. But i wonder if this is because my mother and 3 sisters are all 5ft 10 - 5 ft 11.

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 19:45

Of course the gene thing is rubbish. If it were true, there would be no diversity in human taste and every single culture at every point in time everywhere in the world would have the same standards and ideals of beauty. There might be some generalised preferences across a particular culture, but that's because we're all conditioned by our surroundings to a degree. Over here, a lot of women like feeling small and weightless, but in other parts of the world, women are admired for being fat, solid and heavy. Right now, we are encouraged to like men who are brawny and physically strong, but the history of art shows many other admired forms of masculinity in the past; the poet and minstrel, the romantic long-haired Cavalier, all the rest of it. (Not to mention classical pictures awash with female nudes who would be derided as fat and not dainty and weightless enough today.) Much more of it is social construct than we like to think.

Christ, if the "biological imperative" and "reproduction" were all that mattered, there'd be no gay people and women wouldn't give a monkeys about their orgasms.

AndShesGone · 28/02/2017 20:18

Im under 5 foot and have only ever dated men over 6ft. I don't know and have never met any shorter men. All the 6ft men I've dated have preferred short women too Confused

Really weird.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 28/02/2017 20:43

I'm a 6' 3'' man......I dreamt of the day when I could meet a tall woman who wore heels.Until I met DW. Who is 5'2'' ( We are both perfectly capable of kissing and shagging at the same time....). As for knee tremblers - I just lift her up........Grin

bingolittle · 28/02/2017 20:50

Truly cannot understand why so many women prefer tall men.

But it's worked out very well for me in the past, because I'm happy with anyone my height or taller (not sure about men who are shorter than me, but then I've hardly ever seen one!). So I got to pick from some VERY nice men who other women might have turned down because of their height. Bargain!

(And then I went and married a tall man, whose height is actually wasted on me...)

tabulahrasa · 28/02/2017 20:51

" I don't know and have never met any shorter men"

You mean dated, surely? You can't literally have never met a man shorter than 6 foot, most men are shorter than that...

babyunicornvomit · 28/02/2017 21:02

I'm pretty tall (5'8) and only ever used to go for tall guys. My ex was 6'3 and I found him very attractive until I realised actually he was very bad in bed and I was just attracted to him because of his height. Ever since it hasn't really been a thing for me, and I met my current partner (and soon-to-be baby's dad come August) and he's only 5'9 and a bit, and he's perfect. Although even he tried to fob me off telling me he's 'nearly 6 foot' for ages using every excuse to explain why we're basically the same height: 'I'm slouching' 'i have a sore back' 'I'm wearing flat shoes and they make me look short' but since we measured him for the doctors he's stopped it and realised it's not actually a problem!