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Original poster

Men and their height.

108 replies

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 27/02/2017 22:44

I understand why men are self-conscious about their height. There are enough threads on MN where women say they wouldn't date someone shorter them, shorter than 6 foot or shorter than some other arbitrary marker.

Personally, I don't care. If Peter Dinklage wants to leave his wife and ask me out for a date, I'm entirely up for that.

But why LIE? That's the bit that baffles me. We can tell, you know. You could lie about your weight. People carry their weight differently. People don't carry their height differently. It's literally how many cms the top of your head is from the ground.

Saw a lovely FWB tonight. He's the same height as me. I'm 5'6. Whereas apparently he's 5'9 and a half. I did splutter "Bollocks you are. Maybe on your online dating profile" when he said it.

OP posts:
MotherFuckingChainsaw · 28/02/2017 10:05

I generally don't mind about height, if they're nice and there's a spark then that's OK for me.

I'm now married but alas I did once used to rule out men who were too tall. many years ago I turned down a lovely chap for being over a foot taller than me (he was a mate too) fool. I still stalk him on FB occasionally, he is now wealthy with a very very good job in the City, a gorgeous wife, amazing house 3 destination holidays a year, 2 beautiful children and is an all round nice bloke and thoroughly good egg. Sigh. I tell myself We wouldn't have made each other happy....

Suspendersformybelief · 28/02/2017 10:09

I turned down a lovely chap for being over a foot taller than me (he was a mate too) fool

They say don't they that if there's more than a foot difference in height it is impossible to kiss and have sex at the same time? Well I imagine you could kiss their torso, but you get the idea.

A friend's mum is 5ft 1 and her dad is 6ft 5!!! They always hold hands when they go anywhere, which is very sweet but also looks odd. And I every time I see them I spend the whole time trying not to ask if they can kiss on the mouth and have sex at the same time.

Anyway, Sophie Dahl and Jamie Callum are good examples of well-adjusted, confident, non-heightist people

Okite · 28/02/2017 10:13

I do think people can carry their height differently though, and some don't look as tall as they actually are.
I'm an example, I'm 5'10" but with a combination of bad posture and never wearing heels, people seem to think I'm about average height. Myself and my MIL were measuring our heights last week (at a science museum) and she was stunned that I am 3 inches taller than her, she thought we were the same height.

madmoon · 28/02/2017 10:13

Haha this reminds me of my oh he's 5ft 5 and I am 5 ft 7 we recently had an incident where he swore blind he was 5ft9 my eldest daughters 5ft 8 so in the end she made him measure his self oops he's 5ft5 ( and a bit ) 😂 it's crazy why he would think we wouldn't notice .

Original poster
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 28/02/2017 10:15

My fiancé and I met on match and he was 2 years older than my age filter. But he led with "I'm 2 years older than your range but I loved your profile so I thought I'd say hello anyway..." I'm glad he did!

I'm happy with that too. I don't have height preferences set on my OLD profile but I have been contacted by people older than my specified age range and I'm happy to chat if they seem nice. They've not lied about it on their profile though. If they were 61 and had put 57 on their profile I'd be a bit Hmm.

Incidentally, current boyfriend (for want of a better word, we're not exclusive) was, if not actually disappointed, a bit surprised I wasn't as big as I was in my photos. I'd dropped a couple of dress sizes recently and hadn't updated photos (still haven't). He was expecting a size 20 lady and got someone more like 16. He likes big ladies. In his eyes, I'm slim. Grin

OP posts:
lljkk · 28/02/2017 10:24

So my mom was 5'3" & my dad was 6'4".
In school we were watching historical drama where actors playing Martha + George Washington were 5'2" & 6'3" (real life accurate, same diff as my parents).

My class howled in laughter. Couldn't stop. They said it was bizarre.
Really surprised to read all these posts here about petite woman wanting very tall men. Confused

Original poster
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 28/02/2017 10:25

They say don't they that if there's more than a foot difference in height it is impossible to kiss and have sex at the same time?

Good point, Suspenders. Also, sex standing up is sooo much easier with a shorter guy. Maybe you should ask your friend's mum and dad if they've ever managed a knee trembler? Grin

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 28/02/2017 10:26

It's not only men who lie about all sorts of things on their online profile: women lie about weight, age, marital status, all sorts.

UpYerGansey · 28/02/2017 10:30

I'm 5'5" (and a half Smile)
My preference is for 5"10 men for the aforementioned kissing whilst DTD purposes. Just seems to work better....
Nice shoulders, arms and thighs are an added bonus, and I have a strange predilection for ever so slightly roundy men. Couldn't be with a skinny tall bloke at all!

Original poster
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 28/02/2017 10:36

BitOut, that was kind of my original point. You can get away with lying about your age and marital status. For a bit, anyway. Whereas, height is just there.

Also, I've never had to put my weight into a dating profile. It's all fluffy terms like "curvaceous". On OKCupid, I had to properly think about whether "curvy" (I think) or "full-figured" was bigger. I decided full-figured and went with that. They have since added more options so I have changed it to "overweight". Doesn't seem to have stopped me getting dates and at least I don't have to worry about them flinching when I get my clothes off.

OP posts:
Suspendersformybelief · 28/02/2017 10:37

Grin Grin Grin Startled

Please don't plant ideas like that, my wine filter is shite and there's the village festival in a few short weeks! Uh oh!

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 28/02/2017 10:41

Men lie about it because they get so many messages about how important being tall is. I don't get the obsession that many women seem to have with height, particularly as they often to be the same ones who complain that there's no decent men around...

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 10:44

I can understand a preference for a man being taller than you. I can't understand rejecting an otherwise fantastic man based on that alone. And I can't understand a five inch difference not being enough. He'll still be comfortably taller than you when you're in three inch heels.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 28/02/2017 10:48

I've never got the whole tall man thing, and its certainly not universal (it couldn't be anyway, the average height of a man in my country is 1.76m/5 ft 9).
My OH and I are the same height, both 5 ft 8 inches. Most of the men I know are well under 6 ft. It's never stopped any of their partners wearing heels!

KoalaDownUnder · 28/02/2017 10:58

I'm not the one who cares! It's the men who have some issue being shorter than me.

VegoCat · 28/02/2017 11:13

I'm 5'5 and partner is 6'5 he is like a frickin giant next to me! It definitely does it for me physically! Not sure I would be attracted to anyone less than my height though.

WildNightsWithAndyDay · 28/02/2017 11:20

I had a partner who insisted he was 5'9". I'm 5'9" and absolutely towered over him - he must have been 5'4 or 5'5. It didn't bother me at all but his insistence he was that height was just bonkers. He mentioned it to my dm once and she said "Oh, you must just be further away than I thought then!" I tucking love my mum.

Kittencatkins123 · 28/02/2017 11:23

OP I once went on a date with a guy who said he was 5'10 - I'm 5'6. Wore wedges - he was my height TOPS so I towered over him. His hands were tiny too. I actually find that way more of an issue than height - tiny child hands. Like Trump! Agh.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/02/2017 11:24

Lots of women on online dating sites say they are "average" weight when they are a lot larger in reality because they know so many men won't date larger women. That is equally immediately apparent as a lie on meeting isn't it?

Pollyanna9 · 28/02/2017 11:30

God it REALLY annoys me when people say well you're on 5' 1" so why do you want someone 6ft 2"?

BECAUSE I DO!

What is your problem with that? I don't like men shorter. I even tried a few weeks ago and went out with a 5' 9" guy. Did nothing for me. Nothing.

You set your height preference on OLD and still the 5' 3"ers get in touch saying well I'm not quite the height you wanted but... rrrr.

Then you politely say well the height thing is there for a reason, it's nothing personal to you, but that's just my preference. Then you get the "Well you must look really stupid out with a 6' 2" guy" - F off - what's it to you? My last partner was 6' 2" - so what? He only ever went out with short girls, so, there you go.

Why must people be critical if over time you've realised that someone of a certain height doesn't float your boat? Why is that wrong?

And I'm not saying that if I bumped into someone and they were shorter than my preference and I happened to totally hit it off with them that I wouldn't go out with them. But for the most part, I like them tall and I'm not going to apologise for that or change it for anyone.

I simply cannot understand that there has to be a maximum height difference above which you are being unreasonable in some way. Baffles me,

Pollyanna9 · 28/02/2017 11:31

Oh god Kitten, I hate small hands too - shudder.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 28/02/2017 11:41

Of course Pollyanna, you can have whatever preferences you want. What I don't get is when women (and sorry for the generalisation but it does seem to be women more than men) who have a set of preferences then complain about there being no decent men around.

MyUntidy · 28/02/2017 11:53

Its a tricky one.

I have really fancied some short men, one of them I found devastatingly attractive for years!

But in an online dating profile, it does kind of put me off a bit. A little bit of being economical with the truth is fine by me Smile.

Zaphodsotherhead · 28/02/2017 11:58

I don't care how tall a man is and am not bothered if he's shorter than me...but I did have one who accused me of lying about my height... He'd said he was five foot nine. He was the same height as me, dead on, and I'm five foot six. He repeatedly told me how tall I was for a woman (I'm not), and when I told him I was five six and completely average, he accused me of lying! Because I was the same height as him and he was five foot nine!!

There's none so blind...

Pollyanna9 · 28/02/2017 11:59

I can't believe with the millions of men in the world of varying sizes, that specifying a preference for a particular height is going to massively restrict the number of available men! It doesn't. There's plenty of chaps to go round, regardless of their height.