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Original poster

Men and their height.

108 replies

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 27/02/2017 22:44

I understand why men are self-conscious about their height. There are enough threads on MN where women say they wouldn't date someone shorter them, shorter than 6 foot or shorter than some other arbitrary marker.

Personally, I don't care. If Peter Dinklage wants to leave his wife and ask me out for a date, I'm entirely up for that.

But why LIE? That's the bit that baffles me. We can tell, you know. You could lie about your weight. People carry their weight differently. People don't carry their height differently. It's literally how many cms the top of your head is from the ground.

Saw a lovely FWB tonight. He's the same height as me. I'm 5'6. Whereas apparently he's 5'9 and a half. I did splutter "Bollocks you are. Maybe on your online dating profile" when he said it.

OP posts:
Trills · 28/02/2017 08:15

I agree.

If I meet you online and then the first thing I notice when we meet in person is that you've lied to me, the date is not off to a good start.

ShatnersWig · 28/02/2017 08:16

As a man who did online dating for a while (and never, ever again), I didn't lie about anything, including height. Maybe I should have....

On the flip side, I know plenty of women using online dating who lie about their age!

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 08:19

I'm a bit dubious about people who, when their date is older, fatter or shorter than they claimed, say that their lack of attraction is because they were looking for someone noble and honest and full of integrity and this person is obviously dishonest and untrustworthy.

I think it's just that they wanted someone tall, thin or young and are pissed off that it's not what they're getting. If a man turned out to be taller or richer than he'd claimed, or a woman younger and thinner, would their dates still be unable to continue things with someone capable of such deceit?

Trills · 28/02/2017 08:22

I read a book once where a v rich founder of a tech company did online dating and pretended to be a computer science teacher.

It didn't go well.

HTH

TheNaze73 · 28/02/2017 08:25

I think people that lie are ridiculous. As if you're not going to remember that when you meet them. Very odd. Heard some odd stories about profiles, women knocking 15 years off their age, putting up old photos, 6 ft men, being 5' 7" & people saying they are sporty, putting up ancient pictures & being overweight in real life. Guess this all proves how important looks are in the grander scheme of things, whether we like it or not

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 08:29

I can't help but feel if you get fooled by very old photos, that's kind of on you. A couple of years, maybe, but styles change and if a picture is ten years old, you really should be able to spot it. And if it's blurry and obviously a photo snap of a paper print, it's quite obviously prehistoric.

bumblingbovine49 · 28/02/2017 08:30
OnionKnight · 28/02/2017 08:33

Lets face it, there's not much chance of anyone hiding their wealth or being better looking/thinner etc than their profile led to believe. There's a much bigger chance that a person doesn't have money, is fatter or shorter etc than their profile led to believe.

Quite a few of my single friends who do online dating only upload headshots or older pictures etc, they then wonder why they don't get second dates.

Trills · 28/02/2017 08:36

if a picture is ten years old, you really should be able to spot it

Maybe but much less so for:
generic man outfits (jeans + polo shirt or similar)
holiday pictures

If a man was 40 in 2007 and not particularly into fashion, he is probably wearing very similar clothes at 50 in 2017, and not looking out of place.

ScrapThatThen · 28/02/2017 08:37

Studies have generally shown that men tend to overestimate their own attractiveness (as opposed to women, who underestimate), so maybe their positive body image lies to them about their height?

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 08:41

Lets face it, there's not much chance of anyone hiding their wealth or being better looking/thinner etc than their profile led to believe. There's a much bigger chance that a person doesn't have money, is fatter or shorter etc than their profile led to believe.

I get it, but it's a thought experiment. Daters get a person who's less attractive than their profile suggested, and claim that their lack of interest is an issue of scruples. Really?

SaudadeObama · 28/02/2017 08:44

I think men are shit at knowing their real height. My DH is 6ft 4. He has no idea he is that tall. We went to an event once with a man the same height as him. When the man walked in DH started tapping my arm and whispered "look at that man, he`s freaky tall". Instead of arguing I just found an opportunity for DH to be pictured next to said freak. That shut him up. That was 6 years ago, so all forgotten and now he claims to be 6ft 2 again Hmm

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 28/02/2017 08:44

When I was doing the whole online dating thing women would lie about their age and weight/size with depressing regularity. As others have already said, what's the point, just wastes everyone's time.

ShatnersWig · 28/02/2017 08:48

Interesting thread. Reminds me I know two female friends, one 5ft 4 and the other 5ft 6, who, when online dating, refused to date guys less than 6ft tall because they wore heels and liked the man to still be considerably taller than they were. 5ft 11? No, too short. Bot went through loads of first and second dates with tall guys.

Both met their current partners in real life and not online. Both are 5ft 9.

PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 08:53

I bet most people couldn't tell the difference between 5'10" and 6" anyway unless they were standing right up against him (and probably not even then). And if you're that close, chances are you're both in there by now anyway.

birdybirdywoofwoof · 28/02/2017 09:06

Yes, the lie is presumably only on the dating profile so the system doesn't screen you out. He wouldn't try and get away with it in real-life, surely!

I met DH on a dating site and he had put wanting to meet women 5.3 - 6 ft, only. He said it's because he had some bad experiences with short women.
What a twat. (Im 5.1 and a half). I still mock him about that.

Emboo19 · 28/02/2017 09:25

My god mum, was good friends for a few years with her now hubby, his height was the reason she initially didn't consider dating him! She ended up falling in love with him though and his height is irrelevant now!
Maybe before meeting online dates, people need to ask for a full length pic, against a height chart, holding today's paper. No room for lying then, unless they photoshop!!

tabulahrasa · 28/02/2017 09:32

It's not just men and it's not just online either...people just make up heights.

My job involves getting customers to fill in an enrolment form that includes their height...only about 1 in 3 both know their height and put in one that's vaguely accurate.

There are loads of women who claim to be 5 ft 8 who are shorter than me and I'm exactly 5 ft 7 1/2.

virgospirit · 28/02/2017 09:32

men lie about their height all the time, not just on dating profiles. Most are actually convinced they're several inches taller (yes I did say taller) than they really are. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had people tell me I must be taller than 5'4" in order to justify their being 5'11 or 6ft, when really they're 5'8 or 9.

HorseDentist · 28/02/2017 09:38

Wow I'm surprised at how shallow some people on here can be.
I'm a 5'10 woman and have dated a variety of men from 5'5- 6'4 there is no difference. I still wear great big fuck me heels because I want to.

PhilODox · 28/02/2017 09:42

Oh trills- who was the 'computer teacher'? That's hilariousGrin

Anyway- it's not an 'obsession' of women , it's biological imperative. We automatically select mates that give us a good gene pool- taller mates when we're shorter is part of that 5'0" married to 6'2"

Original poster
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 28/02/2017 09:52

It's the pointlessness of the lie that gets me. Sure, lie about your income or your marital status, you might get away with it. But don't stand there saying you're three inches taller than me when we're standing eyeball to eyeball.

I do get that lots of men probably don't actually know how tall they are, though. It's not something that comes up in adult life really, is it? I haven't grown (upwards at least!) since I was about 11. I bet the last time I had my height measured, my mum did it.

OP posts:
Original poster
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 28/02/2017 09:54

And men are generally older than women when they finish growing, I think. That was my point.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 28/02/2017 09:54

Can't believe I didn't think of this sooner...I went to a wedding last year. The bride is a professional model and 6" in her bare feet. The groom is about 5'6". Never seen a happier couple. She wears heels all the time.

I hear the "biological imperative" thing thrown around a lot by both men and women. I don't deny it exists but I don't think it's quite the insurmountable be all and end all that people think it is. Humans as a species have a very very wide range of tastes and half the things we like are social constructs anyway (just look at how the perception of beauty changes over time). I also think that if we were all selecting for good genes and stable family life, there wouldn't be so many car crash relationships.

Suspendersformybelief · 28/02/2017 10:00

On a selfish note, all the shorter women who are filtering for men over six foot can feck off!

This!! When I was OD, I couldn't believe the percentage of men who were below 5ft 9 and think this is definitely because the taller blokes had been picked off by women who don't really need them!

I'm 5ft 9 and my only stipulation is that I am able to wear heels without a man getting all demasculated and that.

Honestly, blokes complain that women won't go out with them if they are shorter but believe me, I've been out with a few who would prefer to walk a few paces behind then walk with me if I was taller than them. I stopped dating a bloke who kept encouraging me to wear flats.

My ExH was the same height as me and insisted he was 5ft 10 and that it was my hair (it's long and straight so fairly flat to my head) that made me look taller.

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