My Dh died this morning and I don't know how to go on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

But I will because I have to, because I have 4 incredible dc he loved.

I'm so so sad, didn't see it coming this time. Been lots of occasions in the past when we thought we'd lose him but he fought back and pulled through. Too much for him this time. One month today we would have been married 24 years.

Being self indulgent posting but I'm trying to put on brave front for dc even though 3 of them are adult and trying to be brave for me. We all loved him so much.

Thinking of you and your family today, Juan.

(Also good luck to Thumb's DS2!)

May you be surrounded by love today.

Will come and check back later. All the strength to you and your children today x

I'll be thinking of you all, all day today, at 12:45 & at 2 I'm going to crochet some RED squares for the Woolly Hugs Blankets and I'll send them as a tribute to M.

Try to take a little comfort from what M said on the Saturday before he died, about how he thought the children had grown into such wonderful people & that he was happy. Also how he told your neighbour he thought you were beautiful just as you are. It's clear how much he loved you all.

The pain is huge because the love is huge.

Xx

Nothing more to add - as I said, I am not the least bit eloquent, but I also will be sending virtual love and prayers as strong as I can for you today.
xxx

Will think of you and your family at 2pm today.

M's life will be celebrated and remembered today, by all who knew him in person and 'virtually'

Thinking of you and your family today Juan.

Sending love and strength

Will be thinking of you and your family later today Juan.

M will be there with you holding your hand.

Thinking of you today. Lovely photo.

Sending my love & support for today

I've got one of those little artificial candles here with me on my desk at work, and I'm going to 'light' it at 12.45.

I've got a little tea-light in a holder and will dodge the showers to walk to our village church at 1.45 so I can spend some quiet time.

Hopefully you'll feel the love where you are Juan x

As it's quite dark in the church here's a pic of the tea light that will be burning bright for M and you at 2pm.

As luck would have it, I found a RED candle! It is clove and patchouli which is uplifting and fortifying to give you strength and solace in the days and months to come, dear Juan x

Thinking of you and your kids today

Late Fragment by Raymond Carver

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

Thinking of you Juan.
My husband died in my arms around 1pm today. I share your loss and pain.
🌹🌹

Chasing

How bloody awful, I am so sorry for your loss.

No words can come close right now, nothing to offer except gentle thoughts and hugs ((()))

To dearest Juan, RIP her beloved DH 'M' and their family.
To ChasingSquirrels on the loss of her beloved DH today
And to anyone suffering bereavement

I read this at my DHs funeral ....

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why

My heart still aches with sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay

Anonymous

Chasing
no words, but so sorry :(

Chasing, I've posted on your thread, but just want to offer my condolences here as well, to you and your family.

Much love x

Chasing and Juan on this saddest of saddest days my heart breaks for you, and for all of us struggling to be in our various stages of this bastard grief It is shit.

I do find a bit of poetry to be helpful (this spontaneous eruption bears me out) so offer this.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Mary Frye (1932)

For Juan and Chasingsquirrels

You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him, and only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

by David Harkins

I read this poem at my grandmother's funeral (the She is Gone version of course) and it means a lot to me.

Thank you everyone, I've sat and cried over those poems.
Sorry Juan I really really don't want to hijack your thread (if anyone wants to post to me I have my own thread - DH cancer progression I think I called it).
I hope you have been looked after today and it hadn't been too difficult.
xx

So sorry to hear you are also going through this agony Chasing

Dearest Juan and Chasing, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your darling Husbands, may they rest in peace.
Thinking off you both, and of your families. 🌺🌺

Chasing I posted on your thread xx💐

Just popping in with a top up of hugs Juan. I hope today went as well as it could have xx