My Dh died this morning and I don't know how to go on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

But I will because I have to, because I have 4 incredible dc he loved.

I'm so so sad, didn't see it coming this time. Been lots of occasions in the past when we thought we'd lose him but he fought back and pulled through. Too much for him this time. One month today we would have been married 24 years.

Being self indulgent posting but I'm trying to put on brave front for dc even though 3 of them are adult and trying to be brave for me. We all loved him so much.

Thinking of you Juan

So sorry for your loss

I've been reading this tonight to see how you are doing. The comments about him are lovely, clearly he was a very special man who touched many lives. I hope the funeral feels like a celebration of that.

So very sorry to hear of your loss, Juan.

I am so sorry for your loss Juan.

It won't feel real for some time. Wish I could help you.

When my father passed away, even though it's natural and expected to lose a parent in later life, it took a while to sink in. When we went to the undertakers the morning after he died, they asked us whether we had any questions. We were all awkwardly trying to think of one, when my sister blurted out: "How was he last night?".

The strange thing is that I don't think they found this question that weird. Their answer was, "no change" and it was not meant flippantly.

Hugs to you and your children, OP

So very sorry for you and your family, Juan, thinking of you.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your lovely husband Juan . We don't know one another but I've been here years under many names, and yours is one I always recognise. Thinking of you.

Saw ITU doc early this afternoon. Walking back into the ITU was hard, but the meeting with the doc was strangely comforting. When he walked into the meeting room I felt instantly calmer and remembered that that was how I'd felt when he first walked into A & E on Sunday.

Right now right at this minute I feel utterly broken :(

Oh - something strange. We live in the south east but Dh was from Sheffield and had spent some time playing rugby at Headingley.

Dd got a text last night from a boy she had been in school with. He told her that he'd been out in a pub in Headingley earlier last night and had heard people talking and reminiscing about Dh. That's so strange.

Comforting strange I hope Juan.

Juan your DH sounds like an exceptional man who made a lasting impression on those fortunate to have met him. I'm glad the ITU consultant meeting was of comfort to you. You remain in my thoughts.

So glad the ITU meeting helped.

The Headingley story is amazing & shows what an impact your DH made.

Sending you love - you are in my thoughts.

Oh godness I've just seen this now. I'm so sorry Juan x

Glad that you slept and if his mother had been calling him, then he is surely at peace with her

You're doing amazingly well, Juan.
Hugs to you and your DC. Your eldest will feel it no less than your youngest.

Juan - I am so sorry for your loss. I know how awful you must be feeling right now. Your DH sounds like a lovely man, husband and father.

My Dad also had a kidney disease called cystine urea, which cause kidney stones to form. He had two kidney transplants over the course of 30 years but two years ago he developed a dialysis-related condition called calciphylaxis, which unfortunately he couldn't fight. It's been almost three years and I still miss him but it's easier than it was.

Please take comfort from your memories and know that your DH is still with you.

It's going to take a long time to process this Juan just take baby steps it's not a race you will get there when you are ready.

Your kids sound amazing and it's so lovely to hear all the tributes to your dh. He obviously made an impact on many people's lives and was well loved. No he wasn't perfect, none of us are but he was perfect for you and your kids that's all that matters.

Am glad you have so much support and people who care for you.

Hope you have a peaceful night and get a bit more sleep.

Juan sounds hard going, I just wanted to warn you that** you might want to "steel" yourself for the post coming these next few weeks.

Even with the "official" letters it can take a while for the company's to catch up with what's happened.

I'm so sorry, your DH sounds amazing. I'm positive from the way you speak about him that he would have known just how much you loved and adored him. Much love and strength to you and your DC

Goodnight, Juan - hope you get some sleep tonight.

We will be here for as long as you need us.

Much love - (((xxx)))

Wishing you sleep tonight Juan x

Thank you The Mumsnet :) You're all wonderful . I've no doubt I'll be back tomorrow with another outpouring - it's cathartic getting it out here.

Goodnight Juan x

Goodnight Juan. Let your poor body, mind and soul take a few hours rest.