Hope your day at work was better than anticipated Teabay . I was in a similar situation many years ago, and had had 9 months of CBT. I remember having a few little cards in my pocket. I can't remember what they said exactly, just things like what's the worst that can happen, nobody else can see what you're feeling, that sort of thing. It's weird to think of it now, but it helped.
Lilac That's so good to read about you caring less and less about your WN. I like to think of him disappearing down a little well for you, with just a tiny plaintiff voice calling from the bottom (I'm evil!)
Boring Nice to see you got some time away to yourself. I think the word grief is exactly right, especially after 23 years. So many people who haven't been through something similar just don't realise the depth of feelings involved. Also that the foundations of your world are shaken. My relationship was almost 13 years. I know a couple of people who think I must not be that bothered because we weren't married !! Erm, yes, of course, that's how it works - NOT !! 
Saw HJM twice today (sighs). No waving on either side, I'm not sure he knows it's me because of the new duster mobile. I might be seeing him tomorrow at work, fingers crossed.