I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

I would like to know what he knows about the three masonry?

I know someone who was going to become a member.

Also meant to say - he also spent most of his time off his face on dope, which is probably where all his 'theorising' came from.

He is a lower. No home, no job, not living with kids, talking shite online, living from dubious means . I fail to see the attraction. This man is not a catch.

As for why he chose you when all those other girls are liking him on instagram?

It's because you're falling for his bullshit because he works out, looks good in a hoodie, and buys you pretty things.

Other women would want a man with a job. Who didn't talk childish shite on fb all day.

You're looking adoringly up to him, like he's something special. He really really isn't. If he was - your best mate in an instant - you'd be able to just ask him and get a straight answer, wouldn't you?

There's someone out there who will choose you for your own personality you know - I promise you that. Not for your vulnerability and gullibility.

Dear god, it's -threads- times like these that make me appreciate being an old gimmer.

Someone else on here says her ex gets £800 a month from his DM. Drug dealing is a bit of a leap without any other evidence, my bet is that he gets pocket money from his Mummy.

Maybe intelligent is the wrong word? I don't know, the best way i can perhaps put it is that he comes from the same kind of background as me (poor, working class, council estate,) whatever you want to call it but the way he expresses himself and the way he talks is completely different to what u would expect as the norm for that? Does that make sense? Like the people he knows and grew up with are all kind of like ghetto? slang talk? they talk like they are in a rap video? But he isn't like that and he isn't chavvy?? either. He talks in a more educated way but he still has his little slang and 'swagger' about him? and that's what i find appealing about him. He's street and has a tough vibe but he seems smart too? That's what his demeanour is like and it's the first time i met someone like that who's down to earth but seems very smart/witty at the same time. Hope that makes a bit of sense.

Mummytotwo2, I understand why you introduced them, you believe as you. Oth have children in common it may allow you to meet on an even playing field.

Sadly, gathering kids says really nothing about this man and I am very concerned that you have opened up so much towards him when he has given away nothing about himself.

I would put the brakes on. HARD

Just ask him, better than courting spurious conspiracies from people on here

I know someone just like this. Acts the big guy but actually has been funded by his mum his whole life as he thinks he's too good for a normal job. He's very into conspiracy theories too.

Is it completely 'verboten' where you are (I assume UK) to ask "And what do you do for a living?"? You aren't asking how much they earn or where they work. It's just a conversational gambit to lead to other topics or find common interests.

op you know that being 'into' conspiracy theories is no different to being into fairy stories, don't you?

Incase you missed my earlier post, OP...

I really am confused now because there's a MN poster named Mumto2two, who recently posted that she is married.

If that wasn't you OP, why have you chosen an almost identical name to another Mumsnetter?

Drug dealer/ pimp

Incase you missed my earlier post, OP...

I really am confused now because there's a MN poster named Mumto2two, who recently posted that she is married.

If that wasn't you OP, why have you chosen an almost identical name to another Mumsnetter?

Drug dealer.

The reason he doesn't have is own place is because it's pretty difficult to legitimise hundreds of thousands of pounds in order to buy a house, and no bank is going to give him a mortgage with no declared income. Same for renting. On paper his income is zero. If he had pots of cash from an inheritance he would be able to show it to rent somewhere.

He's grooming you to steal some money, that probably where his money is from, his last woman he done this too

Whoops! Double posted

WorraLiberty No that wasn't me. I am not married and never have been

OP you sound like a lovelorn 14 year old for heaven's sake! It's clear that whatever he says or does you lap it up.
I'm sorry but I think you're heading for trouble, his secrecy should be waving red flags and setting off sirens.
🤔

Gosh op is it really that bad where you live that this low life is appealing?

Yes nip to the police and ask about clares law.
Bet you won't though#deluded

he lives at home, his mum pays for everything, he has no expenses
he spends his days at the gym, means that is his only expense
it's easy to be "flush" with cash in this situation

but the whole "cash" only thing - the money is clearly dodgy.Drugs i would assume.
depressed/stressed/body obsessed/posed instagram pics = mostly likely steroids

don't be fooled by his "intelligence". it's easy for him to sound intelligent using big words when you're talking about something like these conspiracies, it's nonsense you know.

you can find someone better than this guy. honestly. his looks will be gone in a year or two. he's available because most women would run.a.mile

You have had a year to find out where he gets his cash from and gave chosen not to. That's why he likes you.