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Original poster

The Dating Thread, episode 113. Real life and online dating advice.

999 replies

Bant · 11/02/2017 19:43

Open to all going through the horror that is dating as a parent. Jump in with questions and advice.

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
ladylambkin · 14/02/2017 22:54

Hi ladies he was love bombing me after all Smile had the best date on Sunday lovely texts when I got home then next day it was like a stranger texting me and he said he didn't think we would work out so wouldn't be seeing me as planned on Friday. Shame because he did seem nice.

lettucesoup · 14/02/2017 23:13

I have had two dates with Mr Norm. I finished work late last night and drove to 24 hour Tesco and bought him a card & posted it...he will get it in the next few days. I had a few texts from him today. Then one asking if he could see me for a few minutes??? He lives over an hour away. I said yes and quickly bought him a small gift.

He arrived with lovely flowers a card. We had a quick coffee at mine and off he went!

lettucesoup · 14/02/2017 23:15

Have not had time to catch-up.on today's events on here; but will do before bed.

InfoSec21 · 15/02/2017 00:06

Another pet hate. People who say they won't say anything on their profile because there would be nothing left to talk about.

If EVERYTHING about their life fits into an inch of text and leaves NOTHING else to talk about, avoid those people at all costs.

lastnicknamefree · 15/02/2017 08:03

lettuce how lovely was that! He drove over an hour to have a coffee with you and deliver flowers? After 2 dates? He's smitten Smile

ladylambkin that sucks. It's confusing and hurtful when they do this. If it's any consolation I've had it too. It was horrible. I was gutted at the time but I went no contact right after and a couple of week later was totally over it. Next!!!

info me too on that bug bear. Pure laziness in my opinion! Hmm

Date number 2 for me tonight with CBG I'm a little bit excited Grin

bant have you set yours up yet?

Mrsfluff · 15/02/2017 08:13

It sounds like there were some very happy people yesterday Smile

I had a lovely card, wine and chocs from Mr31 and he cooked us and my teenager a gorgeous steak dinner. Even sweeter though, he knew teenager wasn't feeling great and so had cancelled seeing her boyfriend - so he bought her a pack of mini Ben and Jerry tubs to cheer her up Grin

Pavonia · 15/02/2017 08:24

Congratulations to everyone who had a lovely date yesterday.

A question about men's profiles on Tinder. If they only have photos and haven't written anything, should I assume the worst?

Pavonia · 15/02/2017 08:46

I decide to have a Tinder clear out! All my matches who I hadn't already exchanged messages with I either messaged or unmatched. I will be interested to see what responses I get!

InfoSec21 · 15/02/2017 08:54

Interesting question. I honestly thought people don't care about profile content on Tinder and only look at the pictures. I haven't made much effort with my profile content for that reason.

Pavonia · 15/02/2017 09:04

Infosec, I think there is a difference between not much effort and blank.

I suppose I was wondering if a blank profile means they are only looking for a hook up. I manage to rule out quite a few men by what they have written in their profile, so it stands to reason that a good proportion of those with blank profiles are going to be written off straight away.

I do think a sentence or two is helpful but so far I have still right swiped if like their pictures and the profile is blank.

It is pretty hard to write an interesting opening message when their profile is blank.

lastnicknamefree · 15/02/2017 09:04

I wouldn't assume anything. Most don't have an extensive profile write up, if anything. It's very much a looks based app that one.

Pavonia · 15/02/2017 09:15

last, thanks I will carry on as I am for now then. I have tried to be pretty open minded and the initial swipe is just a first screen.

If the guys I have messaged today don't reply, then they will get unmatched!

minop · 15/02/2017 09:54

Well I had a strange day yesterday. The Hunk I broke up with just before Christmas who I'd been dating for 3 months and he turned really controlling. I've heard nothing from him since Christmas Eve. Nothing at all and I still have some of his stuff at my house. Sent me a long valentines message at midnight so that I woke up to it. It was how much he loved me and will never forget me and the memories we shared will be in his heart forever. Creeped me out a little as I thought he was long gone. I haven't replied and won't be doing.

Mr Cop sent a few chit chat messages last night. Less conversation than normal but he had just worked a 14 hour day so not reading too much into it. I know he like me. I know I make him laugh. No second guessing!

Info A few sentences can help if I'm undecided on their pictures alone. It can't do any harm!

Pav I never trust just one picture but you never know even with loads of pictures

Last hope tonight goes well

Wingletang1 · 15/02/2017 10:07

On tinder I will swipe right if no profile, but not if only one photo. I find the ones who haven't written anything tend to write a very long opening mesg about themselves and if they don't, my first mesg to them is tell me about yourself! Seems to work fine.

Off out on date 3 with mrchef lunch then cinema, not feeling great, but going to does myself up, fingers crossed it goes well! Wink

lastnicknamefree · 15/02/2017 10:12

Good luck single
Thanks for the good luck wishes *

Dieu · 15/02/2017 10:17

I am going to end it with Mr T today. All that time and effort invested, for nothing. Ah well. He didn't text me at all yesterday. Even if you don't believe in St Val's Day, you can still wish someone a nice day on it! Or let them know that you're thinking of them.

InfoSec21 · 15/02/2017 10:27

I think StVD is a funny one. Even if people don't believe in it, they'd still like to get something I'm sure. It's nice to get things outside of that though and important not to make it the be all and end all.

Pavonia · 15/02/2017 10:38

Dieu, did you text him?

buzzpopprince · 15/02/2017 15:06

Pav Mr Art had no text on his Tinder profile at all... so I def wouldn't have contacted him initially as wouldn't know what to say... even though I have obvs swiped right at some point. He contacted me initially, using info in the the text of my profile hmmm. I did ask him why no text the other day and he said he found it hard to write about himself, he does seem to have low confidence

Dating Mr Art is going well, two sleepovers at his place...had 8 or 9 dates, about 5 weeks. I really like him...we talked about st V Day in advance, and just sent cute texts.

There has been no MB, not even anywhere close.... from his side I should state. It did take him ages to kissing... but it is niggling me a bit. I suppose I'm worried that I will get into it emotionally and then MB not good/problematic and be destined for a fall. Annoying because I fancy him badly, but also know if he genuinely wants to take it slow this could be because he really likes me... or could it be not over ex or whatever, aaarrrrrrhgggghhh!
Sorry for rant Confused

InfoSec21 · 15/02/2017 15:22

I've just deleted Tinder, OKCupid and Bumble. All did nothing for me whatsoever.

I'll keep POF for a little longer but as that isn't proving worthwhile for me either, I might just sack off OLD completely. It doesn't work for everyone and it isn't working for me. At all.

motheroreily · 15/02/2017 15:33

How's everyone doing?

Someone I've been chatting was out near me at the weekend we arranged to meet but I was with my group of friends and he was with his.

I got drunk and had sex with them. Now I feel so awful, I don't know why I did it. I wish I never did 😥

stubbornstains · 15/02/2017 16:06

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a ONS mother. Why do you feel awful? Was he nasty, or the sex crap? If not, congratulate yourself on having had a little pick-me-up! Smile.

stubbornstains · 15/02/2017 16:08

Oh. Or do you mean that you had sex with all of them, and now regret it? Oh dear, yes, I can see how that would be regrettable Sad.

motheroreily · 15/02/2017 16:08

No he wasn't nasty. I'm worried I was being weird and annoying because I was drunk and I had no intention of having sex so my house was not tidy

motheroreily · 15/02/2017 16:11

Oh no not all of them. Just one ha ha. That has made me feel better thank you. I'd feel a lot worse if it was a group of people.

It's just knocked my confidence