HELP - Office Affair

[Lostmymind01]

I am seeking advice how to get over my infatuation of a close work colleague.
I am with a long term partner and before Christmas I had a brief sexual affair with a married mum of 2 with whom I work closely with. We are both happy in our relationships but it seemed a little bored of the sex, and we had a chemistry and it was unbelievably exciting. It only lasted a few months and both agreed that it needed to end.
Since we returned to work, she has gone very quiet with me, and explained how it made her realise what she had to lose and made things better for her marriage.
I know its wrong on all levels, and don't need the patronising comments. But I have returned to work and feel like I am going cold turkey from a drug. We are still friendly etc. but things just aren't the same on the friendship level. I need practical advice on how to get over it, as I am really struggling, and its affecting my relationship, sleep, etc.
Please Help

I wish people would stop the silly comments for me being truthful

Yes truth what a silly thing that is in relationships

If that was aimed at me, you missed the point of my post. You are a week coward which is fine for you but don't inflict your weakness on your DP. That's why I said come clean. Let her make the decision your are too weak to make.

Breaking off an affair like this means keeping things strictly professional. That means telling her it is not possible for you to interact socially or be friendly, in or out of the office. You need to position yourself so that this sort of situation you find yourself in now just can't arise.

I sympathise with you up to a point, there are a lot of saints posting on this thread who think these things never happen to good people, and they are wrong. But the time to follow through on your original stated wish to break off the relationship is now.

Wingsofdesire, your posts are excellent.

Now I realise I've learnt nothing.
Lots of people told you this earlier in the thread. It was clear then entire way through the thread that you are a self-absorbed, spineless twat.
You haven't changed, you still haven't learnt anything, you don't even want to. You like being this pathetic victim who just can't help it because then you can avoid taking any responsibility - it's not your fault because you're just too weak.

There is no point in any more of your whining. You will never change because you have no integrity. Your girlfriend deserves so much better, but you don't care about her.

It's the weekend and op won't be able to dip his wick in the office hottie. Appearances have to be kept up at home, After all.

Posting on here, as in a lot of these affair threads, just serves to keep alive the excitement and anticipation until he can see her again. And you mugs playing along with him are assisting him nicely in that.

Interesting that you only respond to the person who reflects what you want to hear. It's the woman's fault.

Anyfucker is right.

Fucking hand maidens. Is there a skool or summit?

For those saints out there, here's the truth.
We had sex 6 months ago, it was a mad night one off, but it carried on before Xmas and now I'm infatuated. I was getting over it and using it as a learning experience until se decided a few weeks ago she wanted more again and yes I let it happen. I'm not solely blaming her. She instigated it and I responded and that was wrong. I'm to blame as well.
My issue is that before any of this I was content and happy and now I'm miserable and want to break the cycle and hold she has on me. My head says run away but then I don't do it and I don't know why.
Yes I listen to advice from the likes of Autumn because it's practical and helpful. Saying I'm attention seeking isn't helpful.
Yes I should just tell her to shove it but I can't.
If this offends then so be it, but it's the reality of my situation that I've created

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?

That's my issue. I love her so much and was happy so why did I let this happen and how did I get here?

OW is a sex thing, but that does create feelings. I know me and OW will never be together and that's fine. But why is it bothering me so much when she's dragged me back in and then said, we need to cool it off and stop messing around and only do it on odd occasions when we're out together?

I should be thinking I've dodged a bullet and got away with it and concentrate on what I have but I'm not thinking like that

But you don't love your partner - you love the idea of being in love but you really don't have that with her. An inability to stay faithful is clear evidence that you don't love her - you love yourself too much to care about anyone else.

She dragged you in, she reeled you in, you were the hapless victim and just let it happen. Throughout this entire thread, you have shirked any responsibility for your behaviour.

Would I go back. After feeling this bad I don't think I would, as I can't feel shitty like this again.
16th of February you posted that!
You are completely devoid of sincerity. Those feelings you have of love for your girlfriend and guilt over your inadequacies, they are paper thin and meaningless.

No-one can help because you don't want help. You like having sex with this woman and as you can blame her for being such a temptress and write off your own actions as some pathetic weakness that you desperately want to stop but can't (because no-one else will help you), you don't have to face up to the reality that you are not in love, you don't know the meaning of the word, and you're a really shitty partner.

Wingsofdesire you describe her well. She dresses to make people look at her. She says she likes to dress a bit slutty but not too much. She always says to me how so and so fancies her and she's extremely flirty with guys. But I'm still attracted to her and her confidence

Complete tool

I hope you're a troll.

If you're not, you're an utter, utter asshat.

You only just noticed, Rose ?

What have I done wrong now

I'm not disrespecting OW, I'm telling you what she says to me and openly to others. I'm truthful about my feelings and yet I get lambasted for it all, so what's the point?

To answer your question we are middle management and (reasonably) intelligent. I know I come across as an arse and I am for what I've done. I truly do just want to move on but I'm finding it difficult to do so.

I am thinking selfishly, im having no regard for my partner whilst feeling like this and that does hurt me, but is nothing compared to the pain I'd cause her if she knew. People say I'm only blaming OW, but it takes two and I'm letting it happen which is wrong, and wish I had the balls to say "no, this is wrong and never again" but I'm not in that mindset to say it

OP

You are choosing to make this happen.

You are choosing to destroy your partner.

I hope she leaves you.