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Original poster

What kind of men use prostitutes?

999 replies

Snugglepalace · 08/02/2017 09:51

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

OP posts:
DianaMemorialJam · 08/02/2017 15:04

Not a sustainable career though is it. Can't see many men paying for sex with a geriatric (I'm sure there a few with a 'thing' for the older woman though).

toptoe · 08/02/2017 15:05

2 of my ex's visited prostitutes (I found out after). Both very selfish, entitled individuals who did not give 2 shits about me or the woman they visited. They did it purely for sexual gratification. They did it because they were able to compartmentalise. They also both revealed they had low opinions of women and our needs that are personal to us (and not linked to them). Both were different men in other aspects ( one violent, the other the opposite) but they shared the above traits.

user1475253854 · 08/02/2017 15:13

panda that's so horrible, I'm glad you and your DH were able to help. A football manager's (Nigel Pearson, I think) son was filmed having an orgy with prostitutes in Thailand, racially abusing them at the same time. The press got hold of it and an arsehole at my work was going round showing people.

RoughBeast · 08/02/2017 15:33

If I think about it, I start to feel sorry for a man .. Some men need to do that to feel confident! Some are afraid to here NO! And they dont need to work hard on this kind of relations...And there is only small persent of perverts in this list)

Save your pity, frankly, for the possibly coerced and/or vulnerable women whose consent these men purchase. In what way do you think a lack of confidence, or a disinclination to put effort into an actual relationship makes it OK to buy the use of a woman's body? Why do they feel entitled to sex under any circumstances? What terrible axe would be laid to the roots of their self-esteem if someone refused them sex?

Not sure what point you are making about a 'small percent of perverts'.

NotTheFordType · 08/02/2017 15:40

Annie, I think it's pretty irrational to accuse me of being a secret man Hmm (not that you did)

TheNaze73 · 08/02/2017 15:48

The figures are lower than I expected with only just over 1 in 10 British men who were surveyed saying they had paid for sex & 14% of Americans. Interestingly.
"Single men aged 25 to 34, in managerial or professional occupations and those with high numbers of sexual partners were the most likely to say that they had paid for sex"

Offred · 08/02/2017 15:49

*What I don't understand is if it such a great job and reasonable well-paid, why are girls being kidnapped and tricked all around the world to cater to the industry?

Well my answer really would be that the demand outstrips the (willing) supply wouldn't it?

My theory about that really is that it is rare that sex workers feel good about sex work.

bbpp · 08/02/2017 15:58

People might find this interesting: www.eavesforwomen.org.uk/Documents/Recent_Reports/Men%20Who%20Buy%20Sex.pdf

DarkNightDelight · 08/02/2017 16:14

LOL ford isnt sugar coating anything!
Some of you really do live in a different candy floss world.

I know many sex workers, escorts, cam girls, porn stars and they're all beautiful people inside and out. Some with families, husbands and really nice life's.

It's the oldest job in the world for a reason. At around £150 a hour it's not scruffy illiterate chavs they see, they're business men with good jobs and usually 99% are happily married but want their arse's spanking for a hour.

TheBogQueen · 08/02/2017 16:14

I wonder how much you would have to pay women to justify the considerable physical and emotional risk of this work became an acceptable career.

Would it be so much that it is not a viable business?

whatsthepointofmorgan · 08/02/2017 16:18

Offred I find (oral with condom) very unpleasant to give.

That would be the worst of it for me.
A lot of your 'clients' are bound to have 'seen better days' - to put it kindly.
You might find having a manky, wrinkly little old man cock and saggy balls and arse flapping in your face.
But no amount of money would make me put something like that in my mouth!

You say you make smelly ones have a shower first
But I bet some of them don't shower properly.
Smegarosis anyone? mixed with strangers bodily fluids?
yum yum Shock
And you put that in your mouth? very fullfilling

Sorry to be so graphic but we need to make clear that there is nothing glamorous (or fullfilling) about having to do this for a living.

Be honest at least and say it's All About The Money.

ArcheryAnnie · 08/02/2017 16:20

DarkNightDelight all your post tells me is that you, too, only have experience of women who are at the privileged end of the industry. How nice for you.

It's less nice for the women who are at the other end of the industry. I'm more interested in them.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/02/2017 16:23

As has been said before, DarkKnight, the fact that there are some prostitutes that are ok with what they're doing and make good money doesn't mean it's ok for those that are vulnerable and desperate. It also doesn't change the fact that prostitution contributes to the view that women exist for men to use.

Prostitution is not a job like other jobs. By it's nature, it cannot ever be a job that could be treated just like other jobs.

These business men with good jobs are not happily married. They're maintaining the pretence of a happy marriage, but they are not in a committed, honest, respectful relationship.

Ftlofg · 08/02/2017 16:28

What I don't understand is if it such a great job and reasonable well-paid, why are girls being kidnapped and tricked all around the world to cater to the industry? Imo it because men arent making money from it. If a prostitute like Ford works on her terms, there is no man profiting from it. There will always be selfish bastards looking to make money by exploiting others. In prostitution, men can coerce women into doing work that has no real outlays (including sadly paying the woman involved) but large potential returns. The fucktards doing the exploiting are the ones we should be going after with serious jail sentences.

NotTheFordType · 08/02/2017 16:30

whatsthe, you seem to really enjoy the idea that men who buy sex are unclean or (god forbid!) elderly.

Your post actually has an unpleasant whiff of slut-shaming.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 08/02/2017 16:31

Dark have a look at that Tumblr linked upthread. Some of those men are paying £40 a time for full sex. Not beyond the reach of many.

Of course some sex workers are happy, but lots of people are 'happy' in various situations that most well adjusted people would find emotionally, mentally and physically unhealthy - exploitative relationships and abusive families, for example. This is for a variety of reasons, including low expectations, environmental limitations and low self esteem, as described on this thread. I don't think those people being 'happy' is reason to recommend those situations more widely.

IME of the sex workers I've known, they were 'happy' because they knew no different, and no one had ever given enough of a shit about them to show them that they could expect better.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 08/02/2017 16:33

Your post actually has an unpleasant whiff of slut-shaming

Pardon the pun Grin

WTAFF · 08/02/2017 16:40

I've just been reading that link by a PP to men's 'reviews'. It is apparent that some of them view it very much in the same way as going to the shops to buy a bag of crisps. The references to pieces of meat were sickening.

Also, I was incredulous at how many of the men expressed disappointment that the woman didn't seem to be enjoying herself. No shit Sherlock. What on earth do they expect? Do they think that the women actually like them and that the women should consider themselves lucky to have the chance to have sex with them?

I genuinely do not understand the mindset or thinking or those who use sex workers. I really don't.

I have first hand experience of a partner who used sex workers in the past and it makes me sick to this day to imagine it. Sad

whatsthepointofmorgan · 08/02/2017 16:40

rubbish.
Your over-reaction says it all.

You are trying to glamorize it by saying they are mainly ordinary men.
Some will be, some won't.

NettleTea · 08/02/2017 16:41

I wonder how many of the men who have partners and visit prostitutes would be happy if their partner was also visiting a prostitute?

Some have said men who are unhappy with their sex life visit, but if the sex is that unsatisfactory, no doubt their partner isnt having much fun either.

Why do these men think that sexual satisfaction is only necessary for men? Apart from anything it is really fucking lazy to go pay someone for a bit more when if they made a little effort they MIGHT be able to improve what they already have.

But thats probably the crux of it - making an effort. Why bother when you can compartmentalise it all and pay for a bit of variety on the side

whatsthepointofmorgan · 08/02/2017 16:41

Your post actually has an unpleasant whiff of slut-shaming

I forgot about the whiffs.

NotTheFordType · 08/02/2017 16:44

You are trying to glamorize it by saying they are mainly ordinary men.

I don't think you can glamorize something by saying it's ordinary Grin

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/02/2017 16:46

Either way, the point is that prostitution can never be made to comply with the kinds of rules about health and safety that every actual job needs to comply with.

whatsthepointofmorgan · 08/02/2017 16:46

Why do these men think that sexual satisfaction is only necessary for men? Apart from anything it is really fucking lazy to go pay someone for a bit more when if they made a little effort they MIGHT be able to improve what they already have.

But thats probably the crux of it - making an effort.

At the end of the day, when it all boils down to it, these men purely want holes they can stick it in.
The prostitute is a serious of holes.

That's how Yvonne in Appletree Yard described her experience with George watsisname (the little pervert rapist) - he saw her as a series of holes to satisfy his urges.
He was seen as a 'normal married man'

There's no telling what's going on in the mind of a man who visits prostitutes.

IneedmoreLemonPledge · 08/02/2017 16:48

You might find having a manky, wrinkly little old man cock and saggy balls and arse flapping in your face.

And I will too when my DP is 60 and I'm 66. Hopefully we'll still be actively enjoying a relationship. Or should older people stop because the idea of an aged body is unacceptable?

I might need a couple of cushions for my knees by then too. But I'll try my damndest Wink