What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

No. You don't understand your level of entitlement, and you don't have the ability to empathise with women that you use.

I can empathise with other people. All of the women I have visited have been very cheerful and financially, they seem to be doing well. One woman I paid for on multiple occasions wore £700 shoes (yes, £700). If I visited a woman who appeared distant, aloof or subdued, I would leave.

That is such a ridiculous argument I don't even know where to start.

It would be more honest to admit that you don't think about the women that you use and don't care at all about the knock on effects for women generally to be seen as objects to be used by men for sex. As long as you get your orgasm, which you expect to be able to pay for and get, then that's more important than anything else.

I believe that the state has no place in the bedroom, and that private actions between adults are private.

Regardless of what any of us thinks about prostitution, this is 100% right.

"It would be more honest to admit that you don't think about the women that you use and don't care at all about the knock on effects for women generally to be seen as objects to be used by men for sex. As long as you get your orgasm, which you expect to be able to pay for and get"
There are so many things wrong here.

• I do think about the woman I use. The woman I had sex with most recently, I must have asked her at least four times during penetration "is this OK?" and every time she responded "yeah." She actually started saying "harder" in her native language; she has a dark sense of humour. But at any time though, if she said "stop," I would stop. That's happened before, and I stopped immediately; isn't this how normal people act?
• I don't see women as objects. I have sex with people, not inanimate things.
• As I have already explained, this is not the word "entitled" means. I will say this again; if I was "entitled," that would mean everything would be on my terms. I think the guy who goes to a club, takes a drunk girl home for free, expects her to have sex strictly the way that he wants to have sex, doesn't take "no" for an answer, and refuses to use a condom is "entitled." That's a far cry from the experiences I've had with sex workers.

"I believe that the state has no place in the bedroom, and that private actions between adults are private.
Regardless of what any of us thinks about prostitution, this is 100% right."
Not quite. Almost by definition, you have to be OK with prostitution to agree with that statement.

Ewww.

Creepy punter bumps 18 month old zombie thread to tell us he's not creepy at all.

Punters are fucking scum, each and every last one of them, you included.

Now piss off and crawl back under whatever rock you crawled out from.

Why did you search for this ancient thread to post that slime?

Hello Patroclus.

A friend linked the thread to me. I was surprised at the things which were being said about sex workers and their clients, so I added a comment.

However, judging from the posts, most women seem to be more concerned about the harmful effects for partners of male clients, rather than the sex workers. I can assure everyone that I am single, and that I have never been in a relationship, so there is no harm being done.

Wow, you've never been in a relationship? I can't fathom why.

I know a woman whos about mid 50s now, shes still a heroin and crack addict but doesnt do prositituion work anymore. She moved over to Hull from Leeds where she had worked, her friends were decimated by Peter Sutcliffe and others. Nothing you say will make that sort of thing ok. The fact that there are some happy soldiers in this world doesnt make war ok.

Peter Sutcliffe was able to do what he did because laws in the UK force sex workers to work in conditions where they are vulnerable. Sex workers can't legally work in groups, and they can't legally employ security staff. If sex work was decriminalised, sex workers could work in secure buildings where they would be safe.

The stigma that exists against sex workers doesn't help either. There is still a belief in society that sex workers are doing something wrong, and when something bad happens to a sex worker, no one seems to care. People forget that these women aren't just "hookers"; they have their own friends and family, their own beliefs, dreams, etc. The stigma against sex workers which enables violence against them is absolutely disgusting.

Im not talking about the legal situation. People resort to legalisation because people exactly like you refuse to drop the idea that you are entitled to pay for sex and overide consent.

"Im not talking about the legal situation."
Indeed, but you talked about violence, which is a direct consequence of (a) bad laws around sex work, and (b) stigma.

"People resort to legalisation because people exactly like you refuse to drop the idea that you are entitled to pay for sex and overide consent."
If I never paid for sex, I would still be in full favour of decriminalisation. As I mentioned earlier, I have very extreme liberal beliefs.

Tell yourself whatever you like if it makes you feel better. Just know that without that cash transaction she wouldn't be interested in having sex with you, and while you're having the sex you want/she'll agree to/picked from the menu she's not enjoying the experience and probably budget planning the cash in her head as she's doing it.

How you can get aroused knowing that someone's faking to that extent, Jesus, they must be good actresses.

My ex used prostitutes out of a sense of entitlement. I believe he reserved the act of rape for domestic life. Few people enjoy being involuntarily penetrated so he took his sex life elsewhere.

"Just know that without that cash transaction she wouldn't be interested in having sex with you"
I know. But no one else wants to have sex with me anyway.

"and while you're having the sex you want/she'll agree to/picked from the menu she's not enjoying the experience"
I'm aware they don't enjoy it, but as long as they don't dislike the experience, that's OK. It would be nice if they did enjoy it though.

"How you can get aroused knowing that someone's faking to that extent"
It's fake, yes, but it's fine because (a) I know she's faking it, and (b) she knows that I know she's faking it. We both know it's just a simulation. Whereas if a man takes a woman home from a bar, has sex with her, she could be faking it and the man would have no idea.

Ultimately, I'm OK with the woman faking it because I'm fairly certain that no woman, paid or not paid, would derive any sexual pleasure from having sex with me. That was unpleasant for me to come to terms with, but I've accepted it now. So I'm OK with a woman not finding me attractive during sex as I expect that, but the important thing is that she doesn't dislike the experience... I don't want to be hurtful or insensitive to anyone, so that one's a red line for me.

Just know that without that cash transaction she wouldn't be interested in having sex with you

Lots of women will have sex with their partners because he'taken them out for a nice meal, or bought them a gift, or just because he works hard to provide money for the family. If he didn't do those things, she wouldn't be interested in having sex with him.

I know. But no one else wants to have sex with me anyway.

Most likely. Even interacting via the Internet is making me feel a little soiled tbh.

Like I said keep telling yourself what you like. I can guarantee on this site you won't get anyone having an "a-ha, well that's ok" moment over your explanations. All you'll do is antagonise and irritate the majority of women here further.

@Craft1905

Lots of women will have sex with their partners because he'taken them out for a nice meal, or bought them a gift, or just because he works hard to provide money for the family. If he didn't do those things, she wouldn't be interested in having sex with him.

And where in my post did I say that was acceptable or something I condoned?

"Like I said keep telling yourself what you like. I can guarantee on this site you won't get anyone having an "a-ha, well that's ok" moment over your explanations."

Then your beliefs are too deeply entrenched. There isn't any indication, or any evidence, that I've harmed anyone, or will harm someone in the future. There's no evidence that these women would somehow have a higher quality of life if I didn't take up their offer. So there isn't anything here that anyone needs to be concerned about.

The pimping of women against their wishes is brutal beyond description; any man who sees such women is fuelling the crime and is a disgrace to the nation. However, there are confident, independent women, who escort as it suits them, with whoever they agree to be with, for whatever fee they set, completely in control of their own destiny. Are they being abused/victimised by men, or are they, in fact, using their looks and sexuality to exploit men for financial gain? That’s a good question.

Ok, not a popular view I know but whilst I think it's crap that men do this (and particularly men in relationships) there are many women that do very nicely indeed out of this (and I don't mean trafficked and pimped women) , I think it's sad that it's seen as easy money and often an easy option rather than actual careers that require brainpower and courses .

oh some of them are happy? fuck the rest then.

So there isn't anything here that anyone needs to be concerned about.

So why are you here then, if you feel great about what you do?

Was it just a pity party for one?

Sex buyers are people who see bodies as commodities and have no concern for the mental health of the people they buy sex from or in many cases their own spouses.