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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What kind of men use prostitutes?

999 replies

Snugglepalace · 08/02/2017 09:51

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

OP posts:
Offred · 10/02/2017 15:56

Of course it may say nothing at all about him... just I don't think it is that cut and dried to say he must be like a pimp...

The programme about the brothel in Leeds spoke to a husband. He was broadly supportive, didn't like it, had to come to terms with it but had put his feelings aside to support his wife. He seemed utterly lovely.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 16:28

But then Offred, like people said to a op earlier in the thread about him being ok if his daughter became a prostitute, wouldn't a husband or wife want more for their partner than that?

From my own personal perspective, if my husband wanted to sell his body I would take it as a personal insult that he wanted to earn money by having sex with other people. He is not mine, but the act of sexual intercourse is ours and ours only.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 16:29

That is a comment on my relationship only, not a judgement about anyone else's before I get jumped on.

Offred · 10/02/2017 16:59

It's a good point.

I'm really just saying it doesn't necessarily have to say bad things about brazen's DP that he is supportive of her choice.

venusinscorpio · 10/02/2017 17:28

I'm not judging brazen's DP either way. I certainly would say he doesn't have to be ok with it.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 17:53

No I'm not judging him, it is purely how I would feel in that position myself.

It feels really hard to detach my own feelings about my own life from a discussion like this!

Brazenhussy0 · 10/02/2017 19:21

Right, so I know I already flounced and did my whole "I'm out" thing Grin but I just wanted to come back briefly and leave a BBC three link here to a video "Things not to say to a sex worker"

It's funny and lighthearted and hopefully a little insightful:
www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/af17c3e5-02aa-40ce-8d7f-ba57a07a934c

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 19:27

Brazen no one has talked down to you like that (apart from one or two- but their comments on mumsnet in general are ignored and put down as pure 'bitch plopping')

I find that insulting to be honest. No one has said that you will not be in a relationship, you must have been abused etc. I think you are projecting.

Offred · 10/02/2017 19:31

Meh... first it was 'you aren't listening to sex workers' now it is 'don't ask them questions!'...

Larainette · 10/02/2017 20:15

I know this thread isn't really about prostitutes who work on the streets, but there is a prog on the BBC currently bout women who work in a legalised red light area in Leeds. I can't link but it's called Sex, drugs & murder.

Larainette · 10/02/2017 20:15

*about

Offred · 10/02/2017 20:43

Yes, I've seen that

charlestrenet · 10/02/2017 21:17

I've seen it too. One thing I've taken from it is that the women are really strong but also in a horrible situation.

Just got back and caught up with the thread and Horridhenry I'm sure you don't want to hear from me but I'm really sorry. I got you all wrong and I'm also sorry about your experiences.

DrMorbius · 10/02/2017 21:19

I read upstream about men using escorts but not wanting to have relationships with women who are ex-escorts. I suspect this is not true. I suspect men in general would have no issues with hooking up with an ex- escort.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 22:01

Dr are you able to speak for every single man in the world then?

SleepingTiger · 10/02/2017 22:20

Oh dear....

Haven't read the full thread, but I think OP has omitted a few facts.

Those homes, were they "£250,000 homes" ....etc, etc,

SleepingTiger · 10/02/2017 22:22

Can you tell us if it is going to snow tomorrow Snuggle

Thank you. 😄

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 10/02/2017 22:28
Grin
DrMorbius · 10/02/2017 22:44

Dr are you able to speak for every single man in the world then?

Yes, because clearly that's what I explicitly said.

SleepingTiger · 10/02/2017 22:45

Thid thread is depressing because there are so many people posting about a life they know nothing of.

Don't blame prostitution for failed relationships. In the same way you don't blame porn, football or the pub.

Or shouldn't.

Those men are not 'entitled' as Op put it. Entitlement has fuck all to do with it. It's a contract.

venusinscorpio · 10/02/2017 22:54

Well that's your opinion, isn't it? I think the women on this thread who would like to criminalise paying for sex have thought about it quite a lot, thanks.

And they believe that male entitlement to sex and women's bodies is fundamentally a bad thing for all women.

SleepingTiger · 10/02/2017 23:00

That post explains nothing.

Again.

DianaMemorialJam · 10/02/2017 23:04

I suspect men in general would have no issues

You made a pretty broad assumption there, Dr. Any statistics to back it up or is it yet more anecdata? This thread seems to be full of that Hmm

venusinscorpio · 10/02/2017 23:05

The whole thread explains it. Try reading it.

SleepingTiger · 10/02/2017 23:07

I read half, got bored.
So many untruths, so many people with their own prejudices about something they know nothing about.
Do not blame prostitution for the wrongs in your life.
Blame other things.