What kind of men use prostitutes?

[Snugglepalace]

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.

Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

Horrid if it was illegal to visit a prostitute it would go towards stopping men thinking it was ok to pay for sex and that the consent of a woman cannot be purchased.

I for one would hate for my sons to grow up thinking 'I don't have a girlfriend, no one wants to have sex with me. Oh I know! I will just pay for it. If I have enough money, I will get what I want.'

JUST NO!

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned when a partner is sick.
When it comes to having to care for a spouse who is unable to have sex,
why is it nearly always the men that can't go without it for any length of time?

In most story lines involving someone who has a partner with alzheimers, they alway show the men as being the ones who either have an affair (Fireman having an affair with Eileen in Corrie) or in Doctors today, the man who was caught kerb crawling.
Both were carers with wives with dementia.
I'm not sure whether it's more demeaning to women (women are there to provide a service) or demeaning for men - portraying men as not having evolved enough to control their urges for any length of time.

You see it with widowhood as well.
A woman loses her husband and she can happily manage alone for months, even years, until she meets somebody she really gels with and decides to startsagain.
But you hear of a lot of men who, within weeks of losing their wives, have shacked up with someone else before their wive's body is even cold.
We had a friend who had a woman waiting 'in the wings' - one of those who is quick to help out and she replaced his wife in the family home immediately after the funeral.
You see it with divorcees as well.
Men can't handle going without sex for any length of time and they can't stand to be on their own.

Men and women are completely different.
Although It's not popular to think that way, especially on MN.

I AM NOT JUDGING PROSTITUTES OR ESCORTS OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM.

In fact, very few people on this thread are judging them.

'The girlfriend experience' - come the fuck on. How naive are you???

Venus what is the Nordic model? Is it cut and dry that you pay for sex so you have committed a crime?

It's not really fair to judge men by female standards. Most men wouldn't bat (much of) an eyelid of their wives had visited a sex worker (of either gender). Men and women just have very different ideas about relationships. To take an obvious example, many more men than women would consider that splitting up a family because the quantity or quality of sex wasn't to one party's liking would be highly immoral, selfish, and unnecessary. But this very course of action is strongly, often urgently, advocated on this forum on a daily basis. Most men just don't think that sex has anything at all to do with 'love' or whatever other nonsense often gets argued on here.

"OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM"

Very agressive you don't have to shout at me. How naive am I sorry I didn't know you done this before.

No matter how much pretence there is about the whole john/prostitute situation being 'nice,' there is no hiding the fact the man has power over the woman because he has paid her and he expects her to do what he wants. If he's a decent person (unlikely given that he pays people to do what he wants) then the whole thing might not be awful. But it's never going to be nice for any human being to have to play at liking someone else so that that person can feel ok about paying to use their body.

TFP are you serious..?

If I had paid for sex before I got with my husband and I told him, he would (quite rightly) be disgusted with me.

"OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM"

Very agressive you don't have to shout at me. How naive am I sorry I didn't know you done this before.

Diana if you found out your dd done it would you be disgusted with her or would you support her?

Horrid are you for real? You're saying that caps lock on a screen, typed by someone who is absolutely no threat to you is 'aggressive' but that a woman who meets a man who wants sex and could rape/maim/kill her at any moment is in a perfectly fine, unthreatening situation?

She has no reason to shout at me. With all that passion it should go towards guiding and supporting other women.

@DianaMemorialJam - regards my own wife, other things being equal I'd vastly prefer her to have history of using prostitutes than a string of 'love affairs' behind her. But this is only hypothetical of course. In practice someone with such atypical tastes and a willingness to flout social norms so strongly would doubtless come with other baggage of some kind.

I 'shouted' because you weren't listening Horrid, you kept banging on and on about 'judging' prostitutes when no one was actually doing that.

If I had a daughter and they paid for sex? Yes I would be ashamed.

I don't think you read my post properly, it was in response to a pp who said that men wouldn't be bothered if their wives had paid for sex in the past. I'm not disgusted at the prositutes. I think you are just Spoiling for a row tbh b

Dunno where that b came from

So T you would rather your wife paid for sex with strangers so she could use their body as she chose rather than know she can form relationships with other human beings that don't involve the exchange of money? Ok then good for you. Thank god you're not my husband.

'It's not really fair to judge men by female standards. Most men wouldn't bat (much of) an eyelid of their wives had visited a sex worker (of either gender). Men and women just have very different ideas about relationships. To take an obvious example, many more men than women would consider that splitting up a family because the quantity or quality of sex wasn't to one party's liking would be highly immoral, selfish, and unnecessary. But this very course of action is strongly, often urgently, advocated on this forum on a daily basis. Most men just don't think that sex has anything at all to do with 'love' or whatever other nonsense often gets argued on here.'

So you think that instead of being honest and just saying to his wife that he would like more sex, a man should just go ahead and use the bodies of other women instead?

It's only because I understand that's why. The two ladies I think we're on here had to defend what they done. That have had to put up with being called thick for doing it. Some of you have already admitted that you don't want to listen to their story. You don't have to agree all you have to do is show respect. It costs nothing.

You like telling other people what to do don't you Horrid?

Sparrow "there is no hiding the fact the man has power over the woman because he has paid her and he expects her to do what he wants."

None of my clients have any power over me, at all. If I'm asked to do something in a booking that I am not happy to do or that was not previously agreed on, I will say no. If the client persists, I will ask him to leave.
Most escorts are in control in this way. It's why many find it empowering.

And they aren't "paying to use my body", they're paying for sexual services and a bit of human intimacy that many of them struggle to find outside of paid sex.

Ah sparrow you sound lovely. Your making me laugh.

How nice it must be for your DH and his colleagues to have a job that allows them time to stop to judge and glare at people.

Brazen if they can't forge real relationships in order to get the intimacy you claim they so desperately crave, then they need to see somebody about their issues, not pay for it artificially. It perpetuates a cycle of 'my wife doesn't shag me... I will go to a prositute... I pay for exactly why I want... Oh I feel lonely again... I will go to a prostitute...' Ad infinitum.

And I have to say, yes you are in control. But realistically unless you are built like a brick shit house, any man could over power you. I think you know that. That shit frightens me.

I respect you in that you are doing what 'empowers' you, but it only takes one psycho bastard.

Really pleased to hear it Horrid.

'None of my clients have any power over me, at all. If I'm asked to do something in a booking that I am not happy to do or that was not previously agreed on, I will say no. If the client persists, I will ask him to leave.
Most escorts are in control in this way. It's why many find it empowering.'

And what if he doesn't leave?

'And they aren't "paying to use my body", they're paying for sexual services and a bit of human intimacy that many of them struggle to find outside of paid sex.'

Yes they are paying to use your body. Intimacy is not something that can be created artificially between paying customer and service provider. The man is paying you for access to your vagina/mouth/anus.